# Tommy and Bonnie (a story of a boy and his dog) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092 "2005-08-22T12:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/81 "2005-08-23T13:20:00Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#): > > My other encounters with these beings always has them screaming and running helter skelter through the bush, bumping into trees and ant heaps, with me in hot pursuit. Funnily enough, this is also how most men react to me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/82 "2005-08-23T13:33:50Z")
Posting twice in a row always seems so tacky to me, but I can’t let this one slide. Guess who didn’t show up today?? That’s right … _the new receptionist_. This would be her fifth day. To give her the benefit of the doubt, she _is_ working through a temp agency, and the temp agency _did_ call this morning and leave a message for our HR lady (who is not in yet), so the message was probably about Jill being sick. Please, please, _pretty please_ Og let her only be sick. ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/83 "2005-08-23T13:36:43Z")
Hi Y’all, I can’t believe it took me until page two to get in on the MMP! Yay, **Swampy** is back! I woulda taken some corn offn your hands, if you brung any home that is! This week has been busy at the Sneezy household. The young’uns started schoo, yesterday. **Oldest girl** started fourth grade (sp.ed.), and **Youngest girl** started Kindergarten. Since we are talking about dogs, (sorta) there is some sad news from El Rancho Sneezy, our dog Mick got out of our yard and got hit by a car. (Notme left the gate open) I guess that’s all for now, I’m gonna go take a nap, 'cause I was up **before** the crack of dawn. See ya later. Sneezy ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/84 "2005-08-23T14:09:35Z")
> [@](#): > > **Draelin** > Funnily enough, this is also how most men react to me. {{{{{ **Draelin** }}}}} 😛 ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/85 "2005-08-23T14:16:49Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > I have to go to the doctor this morning. ☹ I don’t wanna go. Do I hafta go? Don’t go, don’t go! He’s gonna say “This won’t hurt a bit”, and with a completely straight face too, right before he sticks something sharp in you. (And if it’s not sharp, it’ll be cold.) I don’t like going to the Dr. but I’ll take her over the dentist anyday. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/86 "2005-08-23T14:28:03Z")
> [@miamouse](#): > > Don’t go, don’t go! He’s gonna say “This won’t hurt a bit”, and with a completely straight face too, right before he sticks something sharp in you. (And if it’s not sharp, it’ll be cold.) I don’t like going to the Dr. but I’ll take her over the dentist anyday. I went, and they did stick needles in me. ☹ It’s probably some kind of weird virus, but they’re checking some other things too. But you’re right, it’s a million times better than going to the dentist. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/87 "2005-08-23T14:29:25Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#): > > My other encounters with these beings always has them screaming and running helter skelter through the bush, bumping into trees and ant heaps, with me in hot pursuit. > [@Draelin](#): > > Funnily enough, this is also how most men react to me. ☹ **Draelin** , I thought you liked men in the bush… ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/88 "2005-08-23T14:35:50Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > **Draelin** , I thought you liked men in the bush… Yeah, but not running to _get away_ from it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/89 "2005-08-23T14:46:59Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Yeah, but not running to _get away_ from it. 😉 Excellently snerk-worthy! SNERK ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/90 "2005-08-23T14:55:44Z")
Yay me, I got a giant snerk! A giant _blue_ snerk!! Would that be a Snurf, instead? ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/91 "2005-08-23T15:36:38Z")
I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! My Lazy American Husband is back! Yay **Exgineer**! One of my co-workers was chatting up a customer, and as the customer left, my co-worker (henceforth known as David, because that’s his name)told me that that customer was one of his Future Husbands. He explained to me that he had many, many Future Husbands. I asked if his boyfriend knew about them. He said maybe. I explained my husband system, and he thought that was very good, although lacking in the fantasy element, e.g. I probably wouldn’t consider, say, Johnny Depp one of my husbands, because I always have some kind of actual connection to my husbands. I agreed. He thinks I should also adopt the Future Husband strategy. This could get _even more_ complicated. **beckwall** , I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that right after I read your post, I went and tipped my cat. She fell off the couch. My personal Wedding Hell begins today. Other Quasi-Daughter arrives in a few hours. I will be swamped in Wedding Things for the next five days. I may not get online much. Love you all, and pray for me, that I may not run mad with the scissors. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/92 "2005-08-23T15:48:12Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > He thinks I should also adopt the Future Husband strategy. This could get _even more_ complicated. I am a big fan of the Future Husband system. My friends and I have a tendency to call dibs on any gentleman we think suitable. Luckily, we all like different types of men … though we’ve all agreed that Ewan McGregor belongs to no woman, and it’s finders keepers if he should happen to wander into anybody’s path. > [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > My personal Wedding Hell begins today. Other Quasi-Daughter arrives in a few hours. I will be swamped in Wedding Things for the next five days. I may not get online much. Love you all, and pray for me, that I may not run mad with the scissors. You know, of course, that you have my utmost sympathy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/93 "2005-08-23T16:04:11Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Luckily, we all like different types of men … though we’ve all agreed that Ewan McGregor belongs to no woman, and it’s finders keepers if he should happen to wander into anybody’s path. I agree with you about Ewan McGregor. Just don’t blame me if I keep him a little longer than proscribed. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/94 "2005-08-23T16:06:28Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > **beckwall** , I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that right after I read your post, I went and tipped my cat. She fell off the couch. 😃 Just like cow-tipping! I’ve never tried to tip my bunnies. They’re so low to the ground, they’d probably just roll over. Or sit there and look at me with that look that says “What are you _doing?_ Go away, stoopid hoomin!” > [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > My personal Wedding Hell begins today. Other Quasi-Daughter arrives in a few hours. I will be swamped in Wedding Things for the next five days. I may not get online much. Love you all, and pray for me, that I may not run mad with the scissors. What’s wrong with running mad with scissors? I do it all the time! My wedding advice? Get a big roll of duct tape, so you can fix hems and things like that. You never know when you’ll need duct tape. Safety pins are so 1970s! Everyone uses duct tape now. I don’t have any future husbands lined up. I should get to work on that. My main criteria is snuggliness. Any future husbands have to be very, very snuggly. ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/95 "2005-08-23T17:36:14Z")
I forgot to mention the funny part of the weekend. My nephew was being christened on Sunday, so we had various family around. My brother, the baby’s uncle and godfather, arrived on Friday, and his first question to my sister, the baby’s mother, was: “I just wanted to get this all straight ahead of time. When they ask, do you deny Satan and all of his teachings, how did you want me to answer again?” ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/96 "2005-08-23T19:00:57Z")
Satan has teachings? Is there a textbook? A syllabus? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/97 "2005-08-23T19:01:31Z")
> [@merrily](#): > > “I just wanted to get this all straight ahead of time. When they ask, do you deny Satan and all of his teachings, how did you want me to answer again?” Ok, that deserves a great big red: **\** ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/98 "2005-08-23T20:10:51Z")
Can I go home now? Please? Pretty please? With sugar and spice and everything nice? Purdy, purdy, purdy please? \*\*Had a meeting with the boss regarding data for this monthly tasker I work on. I explained the various data sources I use to obtain the needed data, the problems with said data, and the fact that part of our data is pretty much a WAG. He took it well. Having explained all of the above, this generated lotso questions from him about our children MTFs and how they’re collecting the data, the sources they’re using, etc. This caused to send out an e-mail asking many questions, giving a due date, and explaining that “n/a” or “unable to track” are NOT acceptable answers…AGAIN. They didn’t like that so much. Shrug, I just collect the stoopit data, deal with it. I pointed out the need for consistency and standardization in reporting and collecting the data. In other words; we all need to be on the same sheet of music. I’m sure the expressions as they read this e-mail were: :dubious: :rolleyes: 😕 :mad: . As our beloved **Swampy** would say, “Le sigh…” I just doubled-checked the dates on certificates of completion for all my HIPAA certifcations. Crap! I have to take two before the end of this month, four more before 13 Sep, and another type certification before 1 October. I also have two classes to attend in the next two days, meetings, my daily work, and my taskers that are due this week. I’ll probably have to stay late to do the on-line certifications. I don’t have the time or lack of interruptions during the day. Whine, whine, whine…sorry about that. I feel slightly better. Well, I must return to the tasks at hand. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/99 "2005-08-23T20:55:42Z")
OK how do I get another 6 hours added to the day please? I only just finished reading last weeks MMP and we are on page 2 here already. Man…stoopid new job i sproving to be a large PIA and I haven’t received my promotion letter yet. Dammit! But the future husbands concept intrigues me. I am currently juggling two manly specimens and a new job so I am pretty much exhausted. But it sounds as though **Bobbio** got lucky 😛 Sorry for the interuption…carry on! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092/100 "2005-08-23T21:53:38Z")
A respite! Last night, I opened the windows and let the cool evening air in, and I left them open all night and all day. My sweetie whined about it being hot, but it was 78 in the house. That’s not hot - sheesh! It’s supposed to stay cool this evening, so the house is staying open, but I fear I may have to close it up tomorrow afternoon. We shall see. I’ve got a pot of chili simmering away - the third in as many weeks. I don’t like the stuff, but apparently I make it good - my sweetie likes it bunches. So I get wife points. Other than that, I’ve got nothing. Just another day in paradise! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tommy-and-bonnie-a-story-of-a-boy-and-his-dog/318092.md?page=6)