# Too Damn Hot or Not Hot Enough: July Minirants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516 "2011-07-01T15:43:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/121 "2011-07-05T19:37:14Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Somehow the best part of a bottle of rum made me forget (a) the huge water moccasin we had been hunting for all day and (b) that being very close to a river would certainly be mosquito central. > > I am applying cortizone cream and calamine lotion. But because I am sad, pathetic and single I cannot reach the ones on my back. Also try a really hot shower. Works for me to calm the itching sensation. To reach one’s back with anti-histamine cream, either use a cloth on a stick, or hang a cloth on the wall. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/122 "2011-07-05T20:12:21Z")
There’s nothing quite as frustrating as trying to explain where unemployment compensation might cancel out eligibility for welfare to someone whose native tongue is Arabic rather than English. Her English was excellent, actually, but not quite serviceable enough not to have me biting my lip to keep from growling in frustration as I tried to explain, to the best of my non-caseworker knowledge, why she might not be eligible for welfare if she were to be approved for UC. I finally transferred her to the sup on duty (after having given her the unemployment call center number and repeatedly noting that she really needs to talk to them first). Not pitting the speaker, but more the language barrier itself, and my monoglot self. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/123 "2011-07-05T20:35:16Z")
If you’ve \*told \*her whom she needs to contact, an organization that presumably has translators in place who could explain the situation in her first language, then I’d say she deserves to be pitted. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/124 "2011-07-05T21:08:26Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > If I have to live with the memories, I’m sharing them. It’s like the “earworm” theory, that if you can infect someone else with that annoying song, you may rid yourself of it. 😛 Think of it as terrifying the next generation into double-checking swimsuit opacity! > > Besides, if you’ve seen '60s/'70s porn you’re probably already familiar with the look. But I never have seen '60s/'70s porn!!! :eek: \*\* runs to find brain bleach \*\* ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/125 "2011-07-05T21:16:37Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Also try a really hot shower. Works for me to calm the itching sensation. I wish. The collapse of civilization (aka my A/C going tits up) negates this possibility. > [@Muffin](#): > > To reach one’s back with anti-histamine cream, either use a cloth on a stick, or hang a cloth on the wall. I shall indeed make this so. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/126 "2011-07-05T22:02:02Z")
It drives me absolutely insane that the public schools around here assume that every family has at least one non-working spouse. Dammit, why the fuck do you keep scheduling “must-attend” meetings at noon or 2 p.m. when more than half of married couples both work full time? That means that I either have to work from home (somewhat frowned upon at my company) or take almost a day off work so I can schlep my sorry ass all the way back home, get my kid from preschool and go to your shitty meeting that turns out to be relatively useless anyway. And while we’re at it, my kids have _two_ parents, dammit. If my husband happens to be there and a problem arises or you cannot reach me, there is no reason to wait until I’m available to address any and every issue. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/127 "2011-07-05T22:07:33Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Dear Mechanic: You’re awesome, with awesome sauce on top. You’ve done a great job on our car. You totally deserve a vacation. > > But why did you have to take it the week after the holiday weekend during which our car died in the Costco parking lot? And especially after we had it towed directly to your lot, because we were so sure you’d fix it right up, and we couldn’t exactly leave it at Costco? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/128 "2011-07-05T22:08:48Z")
Weird weather this year. I agree with the OP that it seems a couple months late. I’m in Los Angeles and usually we start hitting 80’s and 90’s consistently starting in May and June, but this year we had a lot of high 70’s in those month. Only this past weekend was it consistently hot, like upper 90’s. I hope this means winter will be warm this year ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/129 "2011-07-05T22:19:43Z")
I’m issuing a hearty **FUCK YOU** to shit-for-brains farmers who irrigate the highway instead of their fields. Not only is it a colossal waste of water, it’s a tremendous hazard…the irrigated section of road I drove through today happened to be in a slight depression, and the amount of standing water was impressive. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/130 "2011-07-05T22:29:57Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Yeah, the air conditioner parts companies made a fortune off me today. Fuckin’ Vegas… Sorry bout’ that man. Even I get raped by the home guys. Unless you know some of the ones that drive your brand of car… ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/131 "2011-07-05T22:38:40Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > It drives me absolutely insane that the public schools around here assume that every family has at least one non-working spouse. Dammit, why the fuck do you keep scheduling “must-attend” meetings at noon or 2 p.m. when more than half of married couples both work full time? That means that I either have to work from home (somewhat frowned upon at my company) or take almost a day off work so I can schlep my sorry ass all the way back home, get my kid from preschool and go to your shitty meeting that turns out to be relatively useless anyway. What happens if you just don’t go to the meeting? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/132 "2011-07-05T23:15:22Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > I’m issuing a hearty **FUCK YOU** to shit-for-brains farmers who irrigate the highway instead of their fields. Not only is it a colossal waste of water, it’s a tremendous hazard…the irrigated section of road I drove through today happened to be in a slight depression, and the amount of standing water was impressive. That reminds me of an incident while we were out walking the other day - a homeowner was watering his grass so that he was watering the yard as well as the boulevard at the same time - so that the water was going right over the sidewalk. As we walked around his sprinkler on the road (we had to go on the road to not get wet), the homeowner yells, “Sorry!” at us. Don’t be sorry, just move the friggin’ sprinkler. You can’t water over the sidewalk for hours at a time (unless you’re a douchebag). ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/133 "2011-07-06T00:25:05Z")
It’s official: My right-side neighbor is an inconsiderate douchebag. Last night he had a 4th of July party…at ten o’clock at night on his back porch. Even with my windows closed, I could hear them all clearly, especially the oh-so-cute little girl who decided to play on her drum set for a few minutes. I peeked out the blinds and saw about ten people out there. We live in a building with seven apartments all in a row. I’m smack in the middle, so I can hear everything on both sides. There’s also a couple of houses down the cliff behind the apartment building. The yard separating the building from the houses is not that wide. I know everyone could hear this conglomeration of friends out until all hours. Inconsiderate Neighbor knew that today was going to be a workday (I know this because he went to work today), yet his party went on until midnight or thereabouts. I have to be at work in seven in the morning, so I had no time or patience for this bullshit. The bonus is that I found out that tearing a cotton ball in half and shoving the halves in my ears blocks the sound of Inconsiderate Douchebags very well. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/134 "2011-07-06T01:45:42Z")
You have got to be fucking kidding me, sis. When we were kids and you decided to stop listening, you would put your fingers in your ears and sing Mary Had a Little Lamb. Hell, now that I think about it, you would do that when we were teenagers. Now you are 43 years old. And you’re still pretty much doing that. I had to put up with it when we were kids, but I don’t have to put up with it anymore. Grow the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/135 "2011-07-06T02:28:01Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > It’s official: My right-side neighbor is an inconsiderate douchebag. Last night he had a 4th of July party…at ten o’clock at night on his back porch. Even with my windows closed, I could hear them all clearly, especially the oh-so-cute little girl who decided to play on her drum set for a few minutes. I peeked out the blinds and saw about ten people out there. > > We live in a building with seven apartments all in a row. I’m smack in the middle, so I can hear everything on both sides. There’s also a couple of houses down the cliff behind the apartment building. The yard separating the building from the houses is not that wide. I know everyone could hear this conglomeration of friends out until all hours. > > Inconsiderate Neighbor knew that today was going to be a workday (I know this because he went to work today), yet his party went on until midnight or thereabouts. I have to be at work in seven in the morning, so I had no time or patience for this bullshit. The bonus is that I found out that tearing a cotton ball in half and shoving the halves in my ears blocks the sound of Inconsiderate Douchebags very well. We had something close to that. Our block informally gets together a bit after it gets dark and everyone fires off their fireworks amid much squealing and clapping. Usually they are done about 10 or 10:30, particularly this year because the next day being a work day, plus most of their kids are quite young. However, for some bizarre reason, the guy across the street and over one decided to start setting off his stuff - legal and not legal - around 11:30 until a bit after midnight. With his two toddlers. One of which threw a fit when the fireworks ran out, a loud fit, which Dad did nothing to stop. Not even taking said kid back into the house. I finally had to yell at him to Shut The HELL UP for him to buy a clue as to whether or not this might be bothering his neighbors. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/136 "2011-07-06T02:33:54Z")
The genius part is that a couple of rounds of ammo popped off in his general direction will be heard as nothing more than a few more firecrackers by everyone who can hear anything. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Say no more. This post in no way endorses popping a cap in your neighbors ass and is meant only for the purposes of seasonal humor ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/137 "2011-07-06T02:45:28Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > The genius part is that a couple of rounds of ammo popped off in his general direction will be heard as nothing more than a few more firecrackers by everyone who can hear anything. > > Wink wink, nudge nudge. Say no more. > > This post in no way endorses popping a cap in your neighbors ass and is meant only for the purposes of seasonal humor \*\* snicker \*\* Unfortunately, the only ammo we have in the house is bird shot, which would have gone everywhere from that distance. Not that I would ever shoot at an asshole…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/138 "2011-07-06T04:53:29Z")
You know what really sucks? When you go into a stall in a public bathroom and discover that the toilet therein is… [ul][li]Stopped up[/li][li]thoroughly sprinkled with someone’s rank, yellow pee[/li][li]Decorated with smears of fecal matter[/li][li]Or otherwise disgustingly unusuable[/ul][/li] … and you exit that stall to find another one, and RIGHT FUCKING THEN someone else enters the bathroom, sees you exit the stall, and GOES IN THEMSELVES. And you just KNOW that person now thinks YOU made that mess, and you want to go up to them and say “I swear, I found the stall like that,” but you know it will only make you look even more guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/139 "2011-07-06T05:07:11Z")
Teensiest of mini rants. Dad, I love you but you need to realize I’m not a slow-witted four year old. If you want me to grab the pry bar, just ask for it. You don’t need to explain to me in great detail what a pry bar looks like. It’s a bar. With one end bent for prying stuff. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516/140 "2011-07-06T05:21:31Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > … and you exit that stall to find another one, and RIGHT FUCKING THEN someone else enters the bathroom, sees you exit the stall, and GOES IN THEMSELVES. And you just KNOW that person now thinks YOU made that mess, and you want to go up to them and say “I swear, I found the stall like that,” but you know it will only make you look even more guilty. As soon as the person enters the room, I say, “Don’t go in that one, it’s foul,” before they can discover it for themselves, and I don’t think I generally get blamed for it. But a triple pox on whoever left it like that! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-damn-hot-or-not-hot-enough-july-minirants/587516.md?page=8)