# Too Proud to Die - the Fighting Ignorants **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657 "2010-04-19T19:58:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/321 "2010-06-03T18:13:10Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > “rAmen” “Thank you. I had some old linguine caught in my throat.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/322 "2010-06-03T21:25:11Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > “Well, I guess we’ve cleared out Auto’s friends why don’t you head down there again auto and see if there is anything worth investigating. We already know you can out run them over that distance. If he doesn’t come back I say we keep heading North.” While you were all drooling over looting the goblin’s bodies, I had already quietly snuck west to loot the original room the goblin’s were in. For some reason I’m not sure if I’ve found anything or not. After this, I come back to y’all and vote we quietly and slowly head north together. I can sneak ahead if we hear anything suspicious. Since, ya know, I’m so good at it and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/323 "2010-06-03T21:28:04Z")
Actually, on sneaking west and mercifully not blundering into any more goblins, **Auto** returns, making appreciably less noise than a one-man band, and reports finding a sizeable chamber that might be worth careful searching, and in any case probably calls for more light. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/324 "2010-06-03T21:33:05Z")
Yeah, what that omniscient mental presence said! ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/325 "2010-06-03T21:45:42Z")
“Nice work Auto, its good to know you can sneak through an empty room. We might need that ability in the future. Well we might as well check it out. If someone will provide a light or goblin head I’ll lead the way” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/326 "2010-06-03T21:50:47Z")
_sulks_ ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/327 "2010-06-03T23:10:44Z")
"I help you check out the room. Cheer up Auto. I thought your strategy of cowardly running and girlish screams was an excellent ruse to bring the goblins into our ambush. Good job!" ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/328 "2010-06-04T02:52:01Z")
I’ll keep my Magic Missile at the ready… and every so often check the ceilings, because I am a paranoid (but alive) Wizard. Oh, and I’ll follow the party, somewhere in the middle of them. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/329 "2010-06-04T12:02:02Z")
I’ll assist in searching the empty room as well. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/330 "2010-06-04T12:22:29Z")
I follow the party, gripping my staff with both hands, ready to use it against any menace, since I have already used my last (and only spell), remembering the old dwarven proverb “A wizard without spells is as useful as an ashtray in a motorcycle”. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/331 "2010-06-04T14:03:51Z")
You find a large chamber - similar to a small school assembly hall in size - with what looks like the remains of some wooden bench seating, in a poor state of repair. It looks like this has been the doss-down area for a fair number of goblins to judge from the smell and the odds and ends of trashy gear lying around. Shining the lantern-light around (not to mention the temporarily-luminous goblin head) you can see some murals decorating the West wall. Just in front of the seats (between them and the murals) is a raised dais that might be a suitable height to rest a coffin on, and near to it there is a tall brass lectern. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/332 "2010-06-04T16:24:41Z")
Can I try to interpret the murals on the walls using my intelligence and knowledge? Or at least try to figure out if there’s any crazy traps or cool loot around here? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/333 "2010-06-04T16:37:56Z")
I’ll help [del]set off[/del] look for traps. “Hey, think that dais is where the urn goes?” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/334 "2010-06-04T19:33:48Z")
“I doubt it you always need to go into the bowels of these things to complete a mission. I’ve never seen one that’s knock on the first door on the right, go home have a beer.” I’ll stay way back from the others and guard the door. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/335 "2010-06-04T20:11:15Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > “I doubt it you always need to go into the bowels of these things to complete a mission. I’ve never seen one that’s knock on the first door on the right, go home have a beer.” “Why, for a second there it almost sounded like you have experience in this sort of thing. And a beer sounds pretty good right about now.” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/336 "2010-06-04T22:36:32Z")
“Well, Ive read a lot of books and that’s the same thing as haveing done something, right? Absolutly a beer does sound good besides how are they going to check on where the urn is I say put it up there and let’s go find a bar.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/337 "2010-06-04T22:47:24Z")
**Melon** calls a five minute rest break and enjoys a smoke. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/338 "2010-06-05T06:48:56Z")
“Hey, watcha smokin’ there **Melon** , old buddy old pal. I don’t suppose you got some to share with your trusty adventuring partner **Auto**?” @ **Oredigger** : “Oh yes. I read in a book that bushes make excellent cover, and just look how well that’s served the group.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/339 "2010-06-05T10:48:39Z")
“It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!” **Auto** receives 1 Spliff. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/340 "2010-06-07T19:52:43Z")
After having checked the area for what felt like days, I proudly declare there are no traps and promptly go take a nap in the corner while everyone else puzzles over the meaning of the murals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=18)