# Too Proud to Die - the Fighting Ignorants **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657 "2010-04-19T19:58:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/21 "2010-04-20T05:00:06Z")
Hey, I’ve never backstabbed you…yet. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/22 "2010-04-20T05:03:18Z")
If only you had thieves’ tools you could pick the lock of my chastity belt… poor thing. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/23 "2010-04-20T05:12:25Z")
That’s ok. I’ll just have to manage somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/24 "2010-04-20T05:15:21Z")
So, how do you pee in that thing? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/25 "2010-04-20T05:16:19Z")
Easy. Imagine a cheese grater. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/26 "2010-04-20T05:31:31Z")
I don’t wanna. So, when is this caravan gonna get a move on? I’m bored. Bad things happen when I’m bored. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/27 "2010-04-20T05:41:37Z")
I’m with **Autolycus**. I can only strain my noodle so many times. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/28 "2010-04-20T05:42:19Z")
Yeah, I see it took you almost 10 minutes. I like my noodles al dente, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/29 "2010-04-20T05:47:35Z")
I haven’t decided on my religion yet.\* But I know that I have a _distaste_ for Pastafarians. They have been a great _sauce_ of discontentment to my superiors. However, I’m here to protect, guide, and enlighten my fellow believers in the true path (whatever it might be). Pastafarians are seen as a test to better my faith and prove my religion’s “rightness.” “Nice to meet you **AClockworkMelon**. May our journey together be fruitful.” \ ***Malacandra** , is there a local religion/deity? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/30 "2010-04-20T05:55:58Z")
_ **Melon** stands on the crest of a hill overlooking Sullwasser. In one hand he clutches a tattered Googlemaps printout, in the other he holds aloft a steaming pasta strainer. Nodding to **Wolverine** , he turns to face the misguided cleric of [insert name of incorrect religion here]._ “It seems we’ve reached Sullwasser without incident. His Noodly Appendage has guided us through the steaming broth of the wilds and delivered us without harm. Blessed be to His Most Holy Meatballs. What is our next move?” ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/31 "2010-04-20T06:06:07Z")
\ ***Wolverine** inwardly makes a note about the terrible direction sense of Pastafarians. Don’t trust them any farther than you can stretch a noodle. \* “Methinks you’re facing the wrong way. We’re heading to Kullen. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/32 "2010-04-20T06:06:38Z")
_Sharpens his sword_ I’m hungry. Let’s find something to eat. **Malacandra** , what hours are you available to check on this thread? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/33 "2010-04-20T06:09:03Z")
“Well, um, obviously I mean’t we’ve reached Sullwasser… from Scottsdale. Now that we’re finally here we can continue on to Kullen.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/34 "2010-04-20T06:12:00Z")
They got food in Kullen? _Grumble_ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/35 "2010-04-20T06:20:05Z")
It is now 7 a.m. local time. I last posted 10 p.m. my time. Timezones, yanno. The trail from Sullwasser winds up a steep hillside, and going is slow for an hour or so until the rise is crested. After that the pace picks up a little. It is early afternoon. There is no sign of giants, for which all present are duly thankful. However, the dull routine is interrupted by the sound of a scream somewhere off to the left, and there is a faint smell of smoke along with something more disagreeable. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/36 "2010-04-20T06:21:51Z")
_ **Melon** glances to the left._ “ **Autolycus** , is that you?” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/37 "2010-04-20T06:28:53Z")
I hope it wasn’t me! I mean, it wasn’t me. Smells like burnt swamp rat on a bad day… Fwew, smells worsethan my Aunt Agnus’ farts. Who wants to go check it out? ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/38 "2010-04-20T06:37:50Z")
“I’ll go, but I’m not going alone. One of the fighters should stay with the caravan in case it’s a trap while the other one comes with me. Autolycus, you should also come. You’re pretty stealthy and we could use the extra pair of eyes.” “Any objections?” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/39 "2010-04-20T06:39:28Z")
I don’t like the sound of that. What’s in it for me? Ok fine I’ll go. Don’t make too much noise though. Wolverines ain’t exactly known for their subtlety. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/40 "2010-04-20T06:53:33Z")
“I could not live with myself if there was Pastafarian work to be done and I missed out. The three of us can go and leave the others to guard the travelers.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=3)