# Too Proud to Die - the Fighting Ignorants **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657 "2010-04-19T19:58:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/421 "2010-06-16T22:06:59Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > “Didn’t the Fighting Ignorants standard contract say something about ‘extreme likelihood of secret passages and undead, goblins virtually guaranteed, beholders hopefully rare’ or something like that?” “Maybe but who reads those things. My recruiter never mentioned anything beyond nice safe contracts guarding slutty merchant’s daughter’s virginitys.” > [@Malacandra](#): > > From the shape of the scratch marks it looks as though rotating it might be the way to go. Spinny spinny then. “Dizzy, I’m so dizzy my head is spinning Like a whirlpool it never ends And it’s You girl makin’ it spin You’re making me dizzy” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/422 "2010-06-16T23:32:20Z")
“You spin my head right round right round…” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/423 "2010-06-17T08:17:18Z")
“when ya go down when ya go down down” ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/424 "2010-06-17T12:58:19Z")
And here I thought the paper was simply telling us to set this whole place a-blaze, and that’ll reveal the helper… I guess we’ll try it your ways instead. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/425 "2010-06-17T12:59:34Z")
“Warriors… Warriors… come out and playaaay” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/426 "2010-06-17T18:54:17Z")
The lectern does indeed rotate, and with a heavy grating sound part of the mosaic in the West wall slides aside, and in place of a life-size representation of a tower shield is a narrow doorway leading onwards into darkness. The taller party members likely have to stoop to get through it, and you can get through only one at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/427 "2010-06-17T18:56:23Z")
“(gulp), ok who goes first?” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/428 "2010-06-17T19:00:31Z")
“Not it.” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/429 "2010-06-17T20:31:31Z")
“Crap, I have to duck and go first and I have no light. I’ll do it but I won’t like it. Any one want to volunteer? Perhaps our wonderful priest girded by the strainer of his lord?” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/430 "2010-06-17T21:12:31Z")
(The goblin head stopped shining a while back - the wizard version of the spell is only good for ten minutes at your level.) ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/431 "2010-06-17T22:15:46Z")
“ok I’'ll go first, anyone else?” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/432 "2010-06-17T22:24:38Z")
“Great! In that case I’ll go last. I’d say dead last but in my case it might turn literal.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/433 "2010-06-17T23:26:49Z")
“I thought about bravely volunteering to guard the entrance, but then I remembered this ‘helper’ thingy probably has rubies for eyes. I must investigate. I’ll be in the middle of the pack, because that’s where I function best.” ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/434 "2010-06-18T12:26:10Z")
“I thought you functioned best as being the decoy that distracts the enemy while the rest of us mop up.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/435 "2010-06-18T12:57:27Z")
“Yeah!” shouts the character who’s only hit a single enemy. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/436 "2010-06-18T14:32:00Z")
“So lets go” I start down the stairs, as soon as some of my fellow FIs come with me. I go slowly, senses straining for anything strange, using a torch for light. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/437 "2010-06-18T17:02:41Z")
There’s only a couple of steps, then it levels off. Once you’re through the door, the passage widens out a little. From up ahead comes a stale smell, slightly sour and acrid - kinda farmyardy only less wholesome. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/438 "2010-06-18T17:30:53Z")
Small reserves of courage rapidly dwindling, I stop and wait for the rest to join me now that the passage is a little wider. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/439 "2010-06-18T18:58:00Z")
I’ll move up to the front since we’re unlikely to be attacked from behind. “Let’s keep moving and not give me time to second guess this idiocy.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657/440 "2010-06-18T19:18:48Z")
“Smells sorta like a brewery. Hey, maybe this is where they make Dead Guy Ale!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-proud-to-die-the-fighting-ignorants/536657.md?page=23)