# Too Young To Be A Mum! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927 "2003-05-13T12:16:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/1 "2003-05-13T12:16:39Z")
Apparently I am too young to be a mum! This according to a complete stranger at the bus stop who insisted I was 16 years old despite my telling her I am 27 and showing her my drivers licence to prove it. :rolleyes: All I can think of is that I was wearing blue jeans, a red hot chilli peppers shirt and white runners/sneakers with my hair in a pony tail. Perhaps she just saw the teenager style clothing and assumed I was a teenager. In a way it is a compliment that she thought I was 16 🙂 but it was also rather odd having to prove my age to some nutty stranger at the bus stop. Peoples is strange. I’m finding it especially weird that anyone and everyone feels free to come up to you in the street and offer advice when you have a baby. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/2 "2003-05-13T12:20:51Z")
ahhhhhhhh but is it good advice? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/3 "2003-05-13T12:22:04Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m finding it especially weird that anyone and everyone feels free to come up to you in the street and offer advice when you have a baby. What’s even weirder is that there’s people who apparently think nothing of [patting pregnant women’s bellies](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43249-2003May11.html), as if being preggers somehow made them public property: > [@](#): > > These are busybodies of both sexes who spy the bowling ball in Katrena’s midsection and think that they have a right to pat it. > > Without asking. > > In public. > > Even though they are total strangers. People are crazy. That’s all there is to it. ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/4 "2003-05-13T12:23:35Z")
_pats belly_ ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/5 "2003-05-13T12:25:38Z")
**RTFirefly** -My grandmother used to do that. She’d go up to a complete stranger and feel their stomach, to the horror of my mother. In her defense, my grandmother had alzheimer’s disease, but still I think that sort of thing is horribly inappropriate, you know? > [@](#): > > This according to a complete stranger at the bus stop who insisted I was 16 years old despite my telling her I am 27 and showing her my drivers licence to prove it. This on the other hand is just insulting. I can’t believe you had to ‘prove’ you were 27. What business is it of this stranger? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/6 "2003-05-13T12:31:39Z")
_sniff_ people used to mistake me for a teenager all the time… not anymore! And yeah I hated when people would accost me about being pregnant! I’m more prepared this time around although I’m betting now I will get the tsk tsk looks morons like to give when they see a pregnant chick with a small child in tow. I’d just ask her why she feels she’s allowed to be so rude to you and walk away. 🙂 (I do make allowances for alzheimer’s though… my FIL And GFIL both have it as did my GGM. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/7 "2003-05-13T12:39:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meatros \* > \*\* This on the other hand is just insulting. I can’t believe you had to ‘prove’ you were 27. What business is it of this stranger? \*\* I would have just ignored her except that she was getting vocal and the noise was waking up Bub. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by RTFirefly_ > **What’s even weirder is that there’s people who apparently think nothing of patting pregnant women’s bellies, as if being preggers somehow made them public property** I’ve had this as well, it was especially bad when people would lift my shirt and place their hand right on my skin - creepy crawly / icky. On the other hand it was really cute when young children would point to my stomach and go ‘baby?’. And **garius** some of the advice is good but some is really bad - I’ve been using a trick my SIL taught me to counter all the advice. No matter what you actually think of their advice just say “Yes that is very interesting, thank-you for sharing that with me”. Good way to avoid arguements. Unless of course you are trying to prove you are 27 not 16. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/8 "2003-05-13T13:07:51Z")
Last time I was pregnant, I had kinda the same experience, in reverse. I had been going to Weight Watchers (you can’t attend if you’re pregnant), and had gone to one last meeting to explain that I would be gone for a while. I was **37 years old**. There was a woman (I had seen her there for months, but she had never said a word to me) sitting behind me, at least 55. I announced that I’d be gone for a while, because I was pregnant, and this woman said “don’t be ridiculous! Women our age don’t have babies!” For a second I had no clue what to say! (I don’t look any younger than I am, but I don’t look older, either). Finally, I turned around and said, “Maybe women your age don’t, but women my age do it all the time!” She never spoke to me again. I don’t know what makes anyone think it’s their business how old we are when we have babies! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/9 "2003-05-13T13:40:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\*Apparently I am too young to be a mum! > > This according to a complete stranger at the bus stop who insisted I was 16 years old despite my telling her I am 27 and showing her my drivers licence to prove it. :rolleyes: > > All I can think of is that I was wearing blue jeans, a red hot chilli peppers shirt and white runners/sneakers with my hair in a pony tail. Perhaps she just saw the teenager style clothing and assumed I was a teenager. > > In a way it is a compliment that she thought I was 16 🙂 but it was also rather odd having to prove my age to some nutty stranger at the bus stop. > > Peoples is strange. > > I’m finding it especially weird that anyone and everyone feels free to come up to you in the street and offer advice when you have a baby. \*\* Yes they are. I guess the only positive observation I can make of the situation is the fact that you look young in the eyes of others. Something that I heard is a good thing 😕 to have. One time I was at Church with my dad, stepmom, and half brother. I was standing with my stepmom and holding my half-brother, and another couple believed they were looking at a married couple with a son :eek: in the church. Geez I was only 19 at the time! So you see, it works both ways, although it can be as equally crass 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/10 "2003-05-13T14:07:09Z")
I just have to pop in to say WTF? I can’t believe human behavior sometimes. Sheesh. The stories related in here are just making me cringe. Touching a pregnant woman’s belly? Raising a fuss over a stranger’s age at a bus stop? What are people thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/11 "2003-05-13T14:42:48Z")
Nothing to comment on the OP, but I will say that as a man, I go out of my way **not** to touch women that are pregnant. Even my own sister in law was off limits, just because I knew that she was probably having it happen to her all the damn time. I just can’t imagine what makes people think that it’s acceptable to grope a grown woman in public. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/12 "2003-05-13T14:46:12Z")
I had to deal with lots of the tummy-touching behavior too, and it drove me bugshit. The only saving grace for me was reminding myself that people somehow translate “tummy” to mean “baby”, and knowing that in their heads, they weren’t so much rubbing my tummy as they were patting my baby, if that makes sense. It helped a little, IF I was feeling charitable at the time. But it always freaked me out a little when people started asking me if I was going to breastfeed. I mean, friends and family are one thing, but I had male co-workers and other barely-acquainted men asking me. Very strange. Of course, those are the same folks who want to know if you’re having “natural” childbirth, and if you want an episiotomy, etc… **Leechbabe** , I’m just impressed that you have a new baby and still have sufficient active brain cells to remember your age. 🙂 I honestly had to sit down and do some subtraction the other day to figure out if I’m 37 or 38. (Turns out I’m 37. I think, anyway. My math skills aren’t that great, either.) Best, karol ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/13 "2003-05-13T14:46:48Z")
Hey **Kyla** , people are _way_ more rude than you think, trust me. I use a manual wheelchair to get around - you wouldn’t _believe_ some of the personal, invasive questions that complete strangers have asked me (For example, I’ve had taxi drivers inquire as to whether I have sexual function. I kid you not - could I make something like that up?). So to get back to the subject at hand: **leechbabe** , I share your pain. If someone else pulls crap like that, just tell them that you won’t discuss it. I find that usually works, and, if not, then I go the appeasement route, with a very curt tone of voice. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/14 "2003-05-13T14:56:01Z")
It’s pretty shocking that people consider it okay to make personal comments, ask personal questions, and touch pregnant women. Appparently, the fact that you’re pregnant suddenly means you have no right to the basic considerations that are offered others. My own philosophy is, you shouldn’t act any differently toward a pregnant stranger than you would toward a non-pregnant one. If you wouldn’t walk up to a man and pat his tummy, and you wouldn’t ask his age, or when he’s due, then you don’t do those things to a pregnant woman. Gah. People sure are weird. ---
**Author:** ![Faerie\_Nuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/76d3ee/32.png) [@Faerie\_Nuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faerie_Nuff)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/15 "2003-05-13T15:02:09Z")
Yeah, it’s ridiculous the liberties strangers think they have. I would smack people’s hands away if they tried to touch my belly, under any circumstances. And how do they know whether the “pregnant” woman isn’t just fat? Sane people do not grab other people’s fat and congradulate them about it. WTF? And what business is it how old we are? I worked as a cashier at our local wholesale club for a month right before I turned 19. People would come up to me, without even asking how old I was, _outraged_ that the store was letting a 12-year-old work there. “This is against Connecticut labor laws”, they’d say. And when I told them I was really 18, they’d say, “No you’re not.” Excuse me, I think I know how old I am. What’s with people? Actually, I think it has a lot to do with being at a bus stop. The craziest people I’ve ever met were on public transportation. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/16 "2003-05-13T15:03:29Z")
I don’t touch people, pregnant or not, without an invitation. It IS pretty cool to feel a baby kick, though. 🙂 I’m 27, not pregnant, but people are constantly convinced I’m younger. Up until a couple of years ago, people assumed I meant “high school” when I said I was in school. I was carded at an R-rated movie when I was 21!!! ARRRRRRGH! Everybody tells me in a few years I’ll appreciate this. I sure hope so. It’ll be nice when people at least think I’m 21! ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/17 "2003-05-13T15:03:39Z")
Ladies, feel free to rub my tummy. Although, it’s not “baby”, its mostly “beer.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/18 "2003-05-13T15:04:31Z")
Bah! People said that to me all the time (and I WAS too young. I was only 20 when the sprout was born). But that doesn’t give people the right to be rude and make comments. Fuck 'em. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/19 "2003-05-13T15:10:17Z")
When I was pregnant, I joined an email list of women who were due at the same time. One of the other expectant moms was very young, still a senior in high school. But you know, she made the best of an unexpected situation. She had the support of her family, and her boyfriend’s family. She was intensely interested in her pregnancy and her child’s development. She had a natural delivery and breastfed (this is very rare for teenagers) and was one of the more positive, happy, attentive moms on our list. I admired the HELL out of her and found her advice and comments to be helpful to me, the 30-year old married mom. But so often she reported rude comments from strangers about her pregnancy, or about her having a baby. For god’s sake, what did those people think they were going to accomplish by chastising her? She had the added bad luck to look about 15. Still, it was NOBODY’S BUSINESS. I felt really bad for her. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927/20 "2003-05-13T15:56:15Z")
Back when I was pregnant, one of the women on my my babies board reported about how she and her husband and their older child were walking through the mall. She was pregnant and bloaty and she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring because it no longer fit (that happened to me too). Some stranger looked at her belly, and then her family, and then pointedly looked at her ringless hand and gave her a dirty look. I mean, what’s up with that? Lots of women take off their rings when they’re pregnant. Some never wear them. Some women have babies when they aren’t married. So what? Nothing like glaring at a happy family in a mall based on stupid assumptions and a nasty judgmental attitude. People are really weird with pregnant women. When I was just about due, some guy in the supermarket yelled to his wife, “My god, that woman’s going to give birth in the store!” Yeah, right. And you can be my midwife, idiot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/too-young-to-be-a-mum/174927.md?page=2)