# Tool for extracting a broken light bulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 10, 2006, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242 "2006-01-10T01:02:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/121 "2006-01-12T01:28:22Z")
I really have nothing to add, so I’ll just post a link to [Lucy in the Sky with Shatner.](http://www.devilducky.com/media/29841/) Someone really should have unplugged his potato and dropped him into the Marianas trench before he recorded this. And yes, I turned the power off before linking. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/122 "2006-01-12T01:43:54Z")
I’ll bet you folks didn’t realize that the official **Bob Uecker Hans Gruber’s Huber pseudotriton ruber ruber uber scuba goober tuber luber FUBAR cuber™** was a sponsor for Major League Baseball. It was- only for a short time, about 46 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/123 "2006-01-12T06:34:11Z")
Hey, don’t forget that at some point when both your arms are reaching up to slice the potato in half with the corrugated samoflange, you might wanna do a quick “sniff check” to make sure your deodorant’s working. Because you don’t want someone to smell your pits from the next room and then come to investigate and see that you’ve borrowed _their_ death ray and broom handle without asking. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/124 "2006-01-12T08:29:10Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > I’ll bet you folks didn’t realize that the official **Bob Uecker Hans Gruber’s Huber pseudotriton ruber ruber uber scuba goober tuber luber FUBAR cuber™** was a sponsor for Major League Baseball. > > It was- only for a short time, about 46 years ago. If the potato sits around on the sofa watching porn all day, you’ll have a **Bob Uecker Hans Gruber’s Huber pseudotriton ruber ruber uber scuba goober boob tuber luber FUBAR cuber™** ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/125 "2006-01-12T17:33:32Z")
Step 1: Turn the power _back on_ Step 2: Place new light bulb in mouth Step 3: Ground yourself Step 4: Place right index finger in center of receptacle Step 5: Watch in wonder as the light bulb in your mouth _lights up_ like **Uncle Fester**!!! Or you’ll be electrocuted. Whichever, what fun! ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/126 "2006-01-13T16:17:37Z")
I think someone mentioned it earlier, but a TV ad for a hardware chain around here says you can use a carrot. But I suggest that only because this thread has lead me to believe that seeing your plasticene penis in the looking glass tied with insulated needle-nosed pliers to your custom-carved powered potato is a turn-off. Or have I misread something? ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/127 "2006-01-13T20:13:38Z")
> [@scotandrsn](#): > > you can use a carrot. A carrot? What are you, some kind of a funny guy? ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/128 "2006-01-13T20:36:43Z")
> [@Tibbycat](#): > > A carrot? > What are you, some kind of a funny guy? Depending on where you are planning on sticking it, it could make more sense that a potato does. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/129 "2006-01-13T22:25:19Z")
> [@SandyHook](#): > > Whooooooeeeeee!!! > > I’m potatoing like a motherf\*\*k. Yeah! Well, I’m mash-turbating like a potatofuck. Or something like that! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/130 "2006-01-15T21:36:33Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > I’ll bet you folks didn’t realize that the official **Bob Uecker Hans Gruber’s Huber pseudotriton ruber ruber uber scuba goober tuber luber FUBAR cuber™** was a sponsor for Major League Baseball. > > It was- only for a short time, about 46 years ago. If Bob Uecker joined SDMB today, would that become: the official **Bob Uecker the Newber Hans Gruber’s Huber pseudotriton ruber ruber uber scuba goober tuber luber FUBAR cuber™** Jim ---
**Author:** ![bonitahi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7993a0/32.png) [@bonitahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bonitahi)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/131 "2006-01-15T22:43:40Z")
What I do first, even safer than turning the power off, is I remove the escocheon cover and disconnect the two wires, then I stick a broom handle up and I twist. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/132 "2006-01-16T00:18:22Z")
If you want to stick a twisty broom handle up your _escocheon_, that’s fine with us. We’re talking tubers and lightbulbs, here. Focus, man. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/133 "2006-01-16T00:22:35Z")
And, of course, now we all know how many Dopers it takes to change a light bulb: –One to come up with the potato trick, –Three to … ::: flees ::: ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/134 "2006-01-16T00:24:14Z")
> [@bonitahi](#): > > What I do first, even safer than turning the power off, is I remove the escocheon cover and disconnect the two wires, then I stick a broom handle up and I twist. > Works for me. and I bet you wear suspenders and a belt w/ your elastic waist pants.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/135 "2006-01-16T00:44:42Z")
You know, ever since I changed that broken light bulb, I’ve been standing here in the dark waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to turn the power back on, but does anyone here want give me the thumbs-up? NOOOOOOOOO, just let the damned salamander starve and freeze while his food spoils in the refrigerator. Even the potatoes have started getting moldy. I mean, everyone says “Turn the power off,” “Turn it off,” “Hey, stupid, remember to shut the power OFF,” but how about telling me when it’s safe to turn it back on? Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/136 "2006-01-16T00:46:09Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > You know, ever since I changed that broken light bulb, I’ve been standing here in the dark waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to turn the power back on, but does anyone here want give me the thumbs-up? > > NOOOOOOOOO, just let the damned salamander starve and freeze while his food spoils in the refrigerator. Even the potatoes have started getting moldy. > > I mean, everyone says “Turn the power off,” “Turn it off,” “Hey, stupid, remember to shut the power OFF,” but how about telling me when it’s safe to turn it back on? Huh? It’s okay to turn on the power IF you’ve put away the plasticine potato. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/137 "2006-01-16T01:26:30Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > You know, ever since I changed that broken light bulb, I’ve been standing here in the dark waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to turn the power back on, but does anyone here want give me the thumbs-up? > > NOOOOOOOOO, just let the damned salamander starve and freeze while his food spoils in the refrigerator. Even the potatoes have started getting moldy. > > I mean, everyone says “Turn the power off,” “Turn it off,” “Hey, stupid, remember to shut the power OFF,” but how about telling me when it’s safe to turn it back on? Huh? You can turn the power back on but make sure you have a Green Bean at the ready. Jim ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/138 "2006-01-16T02:58:59Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > You know, ever since I changed that broken light bulb, I’ve been standing here in the dark waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to turn the power back on, but does anyone here want give me the thumbs-up? > > NOOOOOOOOO, just let the damned salamander starve and freeze while his food spoils in the refrigerator. Even the potatoes have started getting moldy. > > I mean, everyone says “Turn the power off,” “Turn it off,” “Hey, stupid, remember to shut the power OFF,” but how about telling me when it’s safe to turn it back on? Huh? Since we aren’t there to verify that it’s safe, we can’t in good conscience advise you when to do so. If you first provide a signed and notarized affidavit indicating that all your vegetables are put away, the broom handle is back in the closet, tools are back in the garage, you’re not on a ladder, _and_ you agree to hold us all harmless in the event that the damn thing goes off like an Exocet missile, I’ll forward that to my attorney for comment, and get back to you shortly. 😉 In Russia, light bulb changes you! ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/139 "2006-01-16T03:08:53Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Since we aren’t there to verify that it’s safe, we can’t in good conscience advise you when to do so. If you first provide a signed and notarized affidavit indicating that all your vegetables are put away, the broom handle is back in the closet, tools are back in the garage, you’re not on a ladder, _and_ you agree to hold us all harmless in the event that the damn thing goes off like an Exocet missile, I’ll forward that to my attorney for comment, and get back to you shortly. 😉 I think that you are being far too careless. He should hire a professional engineer to make this judgement. Or a licensed grocer. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242/140 "2006-01-16T04:12:03Z")
> [@BoringDad](#): > > I think that you are being far too careless. He should hire a professional engineer to make this judgement. Or a licensed grocer. Go with a Green Grocer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tool-for-extracting-a-broken-light-bulb/339242.md?page=8)