# Tools for the coming zombie apocalypse **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328 "2010-05-04T20:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/1 "2010-05-04T20:32:29Z")
It’s been a while since we’ve had a good zombie thread. Not to be confused with a thread that’s been zombied. I’m sure you all have your well worn copies of [The Zombie Survival Guide](http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628) and dog-eared [World War Z](http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Oral-History-Zombie/dp/0307346609). Some of you even have your trusty katanas and kukris ever close at hand. But suppose you’re just hanging out and watching TV when all of a sudden _BOOM_ zombies come pouring in through your living room window. No problem! The [Zombie Table](http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/37318/the-zombie-table-a-product-you-can-really-get-behind) has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defense. You can never be too prepared. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/2 "2010-05-04T21:14:17Z")
If I’m at home, I’m on the second floor and usually within arms reach of at least two fireams, and they’re loaded and ready to rock… In fact, i’d probably have enough time for the pleasant dillemma of "which gun do I use to defend me and mine from the slouching hordes? Do I use the .22, the .45 (ACP OR Colt) the 12-gauge, a baseball bat? My Ka-bar?) , heck, I’d probably spend so much time trying to decide that the first floor would be compromised… sometimes too much choice can be bad 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/3 "2010-05-04T21:33:30Z")
As we have recently learned don’t count on those M-88’s to detonate your BBQ grill propane tank you left behind as a trap and blow up the zombies. I would recommend keeping [one of these](http://gizmodo.com/324453/recoilless-auto-shotgun-fires-300-rounds-per-minute-no-cleaning-or-lube-required) handy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/4 "2010-05-05T01:29:18Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > [snip]But suppose you’re just hanging out and watching TV when all of a sudden _BOOM_ zombies come pouring in through your living room window. No problem! The [Zombie Table](http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/37318/the-zombie-table-a-product-you-can-really-get-behind) has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defense. > > You can never be too prepared. That’s almost as cool as [H.R. Giger’s Alien-themed furniture](http://www.hrgiger.com/frame.htm) (but hopefully a lot more affordable). 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/5 "2010-05-05T01:46:08Z")
[This](http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11152350&search=sanitizer&Mo=36&cm_re=1_en-_-Top_Left_Nav-_-Top_search&lang=en-US&Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&Sp=S&N=4000487&whse=BC&Dx=mode+matchallpartial&Ntk=Text_Search&Dr=P_CatalogName:BC&Ne=4000000&D=sanitizer&Ntt=sanitizer&No=10&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&s=1&topnav=&Nty=1&s=1) might be pretty useful. Also, I guess I’m pretty [old school](http://www.teraasekeskus.com/images/extra/RamboSurvivalKnife.jpg), but when the zombie apocalypse happens, I think some fishing line and hooks would come in mighty handy. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/6 "2010-05-05T01:56:26Z")
I’m thinking the [FuBar](http://www.stanleytools.com/default.asp?CATEGORY=Xtreme&TYPE=PRODUCT&PARTNUMBER=55-099) ought to be of assistance at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/7 "2010-05-05T02:18:16Z")
First person to suggest a Swiss army knife gets brained by a [Chinese shovel of death](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzpRh-ZE9Mo). (Yeah, it’s an 8-minute video - but it doubles in amazement every 40 seconds.) ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/8 "2010-05-05T02:22:13Z")
If the zombies came a knockin’ right now, the best I could probably do is take apart my speaker stands to fashion a primitive club. I guess I could fashion some Molotov Cocktails from my vintage cognac collection, but it seems such a waste 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Armchair\_Economist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Armchair\_Economist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armchair_Economist)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/9 "2010-05-05T02:33:42Z")
Around me right now that can be a weapon… Closet rod or any of the legs that make up my metro rack TV stand. Ideal zombie loadout: M16/M4 simple iron sights, direct impingement for simplicity (although it will require more cleaning), useful since I’m very familiar with them. Walther P22 for its light weight and abundance of ammunition, last ditch weapon. Utility Bar or Fire Axe for those rare occasions it gets THAT bad, also useful as survival tools in an urban environment. That and two of my friends have our contingency plans in place. However, it turns out to be sprinting zombies…the only answer is suicide. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/10 "2010-05-05T03:17:31Z")
> [@Armchair\_Economist](#): > > Ideal zombie loadout: > > M16/M4 simple iron sights, direct impingement for simplicity (although it will require more cleaning), useful since I’m very familiar with them. > > Walther P22 for its light weight and abundance of ammunition, last ditch weapon. > > Utility Bar or Fire Axe for those rare occasions it gets THAT bad, also useful as survival tools in an urban environment. > > That and two of my friends have our contingency plans in place. However, it turns out to be sprinting zombies…the only answer is suicide. I go the Universal Enforcer route with plenty of banana clips and a .38 for last ditch. I’ve never seen a good ballistics study on just how much head trauma a zombie can take and I figure to stick between assorted .30-.40 and some lower velocities. Some zombies at the walks have some serious head exit wounds and are still walking - could be higher velocity .30s and .223s aren’t the best ticket. For a hand weapons I have several Dead On Tools Exhumers and Annihilators and I have my eye on a couple of the shingle hammers. Darn things are cool as Hell to own even if Z-hour doesn’t come until after I’m already worm food. [http://www.deadonstore.com/tools.htm](http://www.deadonstore.com/tools.htm) If the zombies are high speed ------ well, all I have to say to that is “BRAAIIINS”. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/11 "2010-05-05T07:59:49Z")
I don’t have any firearms yet, but a .357 lever action carbine is going to be my go-to zombie gun. One of [these](http://zombietools.net/tools/) for that close and personal touch. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/12 "2010-05-05T08:04:39Z")
I don’t have a firearm yet, but I plan on getting as many of them as I can when I’m older: I’m a huge gun nut. Remington 870 will be my personal defensive anti-zombie weapon of choice when the apocalypse comes. When it comes to larger engagements (besides personal defense) I’ll use a rifle- I’m not sure what kind yet. My friends and I have a contingency plan. When we see signs of the approaching apocalypse we’ll get into contact with one another and put it into play. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/13 "2010-05-05T11:33:21Z")
I only own one firearm now and as it’s a big bore revolver (S&W 500) it’s a poor choice for the zombie apocalypse. Massive overkill, wrist snapping recoil, difficulty in ammunition supply and poor rate of fire combine to render it less than ideal. If I’m down at my Dad’s house then I’ve got a much better selection of over 50 handguns, 30 or more long guns and enough ammunition to occupy Paris. My house is pretty secure, easy to defend and well stocked with food and water for a siege so if I had to hole up here for a while, I could. Throw in a mix of improvised hand weapons that I have available such as my fire axe, a couple of crowbars, three pound hand sledge and a couple of machetes and I’ll do my best to avoid becoming well chewed meat. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/14 "2010-05-05T13:29:08Z")
The solution is raise them from the dead in the name of Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/15 "2010-05-05T14:28:25Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The solution is raise them from the dead in the name of Jesus. That may not always be a good idea. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/c7vZXjmtWFA/hqdefault.jpg "[adult swim] video - Moral Orel") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7vZXjmtWFA) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/16 "2010-05-05T14:54:02Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > First person to suggest a Swiss army knife gets brained by a [Chinese shovel of death](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzpRh-ZE9Mo). (Yeah, it’s an 8-minute video - but it doubles in amazement every 40 seconds.) Huh? I thought the idea was to “dig to China” not “dig _from_ China”? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/17 "2010-05-05T16:17:21Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The solution is raise them from the dead in the name of Jesus. Sorry, but if it comes down to a choice between Mr. Christ or Mr. Mossberg, I’ll have to go with Mr. Mossberg, he is far more effective, and has an easily verified resume’ on putting humanoid entities down for good Hmm, a choice of “magic words” or high-velocity bits of lead?, gotta go with the …elemental… choice, good ol’ Pb (no, I don’t mean peanut butter…) ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/18 "2010-05-05T16:33:07Z")
As far as which gun I’d use to suppress an uprising of the “Reanimated Americans”, A.K.A. “Ambulatory Cadavers” (Band Name!), I’d once again take the scientific approach, and perform actual research Start with the .22, as I have the most ammo in that caliber, try to see if the round is capable of _consistently_ breaching the skull of the shuffling hordes of Undead Americans, if it is, then that becomes the main anti-zack weapon (Ruger 10/22 with an assortment of Butler Creek Steel Lips 25 round banana mags), the highest probability of success with a .22 would be using it in a rifle, so the tiny 1.5 to 2 grain powder charge in the cartridge fully expends all it’s energy in propelling the bullet, .22 handguns suffer from reduced velocity, as the powder does not have time to completely burn inside the shorter barrel (ideal barrel length for a .22 is around 18", under that you get unburnt powder exiting the muzzle as flame, longer than that, you lose velocity due to friction If the .22 does not reliably, consistently drop Zack, then step up to larger, more powerful calibers, in my case, the progression would be .22\>.30-30\>.30-06\>.44-40\>.45 ACP\>.45 Colt\>12-gauge that said, my Kimber 1911 would remain at my side as my backup/sidearm, it’s difficult for a reanimated corpse to argue with a projectile that’s almost a half-inch across even before it hits anything, and the Speer Gold Dot defensive hollow points it’s loaded with consistently expand to .65-.75 caliber once they hit a soft target ---
**Author:** ![Armchair\_Economist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Armchair\_Economist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armchair_Economist)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/19 "2010-05-06T01:27:03Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > in my case, the progression would be .22\>.30-30\>.30-06\>.44-40\>.45 ACP\>.45 Colt\>12-gauge No love for the 5.56, 5.7, or 7.62? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328/20 "2010-05-06T01:30:38Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > If I’m down at my Dad’s house then I’ve got a much better selection of over 50 handguns, 30 or more long guns and **enough ammunition to occupy Paris.** 5 rounds isn’t going to get you very far. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tools-for-the-coming-zombie-apocalypse/538328.md?page=2)