Don’t pull on Superman’s cape
Don’t spit into the wind
Don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
Don’t mess around with Slim
Top Ten Things (Besides Giving Up Fatty Foods) That Will Add Four Months to Your Life
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Put suicide machine in reverse
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Not giving the finger to Mr. Gotti’s limo after he cuts you off
(okay, not really relevant anymore) -
Dot your i’s with a smiley face
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Averting your eyes whenever the Hamburger Helper Hand appears on TV
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Unwrap gum completely before chewing
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Being able to outrun the Los Angeles Police Department
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Set yourself a goal: “I’m going to live four months longer than I normally would.” Stick to it.
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MCI instead of AT&T
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Break into a drugstore and eat all the medicine
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New crack lite!
Don’t discover a major superhero’s secret identity while you’re low-level villain. Even if you don’t die shortly thereafter, something’ll awful will happen to your brain and/or mind.