# Top 10 things not to steal **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135 "2006-08-10T09:31:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/1 "2006-08-10T09:31:49Z")
10: A truck full of [dougnuts](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/doughnuts.ap/index.html') :smack: Anyone care to come up with number 9? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/2 "2006-08-10T09:33:41Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > 10: A truck full of [dougnuts](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/doughnuts.ap/index.html) :smack: > > Anyone care to come up with number 9? [doughnuts](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/doughnuts.ap/index.html) :wally ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/3 "2006-08-10T09:49:20Z")
I can’t find a cite for this but I remember reading a story about a guy who tried to steal a sports bag from a bunch of people stood around in an airport. I think the bag was just left on the floor behind the group of people and the opportunist thief picked it up and legged it. One thing the thief obviously wasn’t aware of was that the group of people stood with the bag were from the USA athletics team including Maurice Green, who is by no means a slow runner. Needless to say the thief didn’t get very far before he was caught. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/4 "2006-08-10T09:59:58Z")
Sewage, by siphoning it out of a chemical toilet in a mobile home in the mistaken belief that it is gasoline. > **[RV Gas Siphoner Gets Mouthful of Sewage](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/gas-thief-mouthful-sewage/)** > > Urban legend about a gas-siphoning thief who accidentally gets a mouthful of sewage from an RV. OK, it’s an UL, but still not a good thing to steal. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/5 "2006-08-10T10:55:21Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > 10: A truck full of [dougnuts](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/doughnuts.ap/index.html') :smack: > > Anyone care to come up with number 9? Frankly, I find this part of the story the most amazing: > [@](#): > > Still intact was the entire load of glazed, sugar and cream doughnuts, as well as some apple fritters. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/6 "2006-08-10T11:03:54Z")
9: a completely full, unserviced Port-O-Potty. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/7 "2006-08-10T11:04:33Z")
[future urband legend] when the truck left the police pound it was devoid of doughnuts … no one knows why [/ful] ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/8 "2006-08-10T11:24:23Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > 10: A truck full of [dougnuts](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/doughnuts.ap/index.html') :smack: > > Anyone care to come up with number 9? I’d imagine that Doug would like very much to keep his nuts, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/9 "2006-08-10T11:30:27Z")
Passage on a flight from Great Britain to the US… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/10 "2006-08-10T11:36:01Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > I’d imagine that Doug would like very much to keep his nuts, thanks. I dunno, maybe that’s why we’re supposed to beware of him. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/11 "2006-08-10T13:43:13Z")
A friend told me the story of her brother, who owns a lawn-cleaning business. (Professional pooper-scooper, I call it.) He would put the turds in plastic grocery bags, tie them up and deposit them in paper shopping bags with handles. Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and Bloomingdales and other mall stores. Once, while he was cleaning a yard, a kid ran up, snatched several of those bags out of the back of his truck and ran like hell. Everyone always says they wish they could have seen the kid’s face when he opened his bags of stolen booty. Dog Poop: number 7 on the list of things not to steal. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/12 "2006-08-10T14:10:41Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and **Bloomingdales** and other mall stores. Heh. Never was a slogan [more appropriate](http://www002.upp.so-net.ne.jp/kumiko-meru/images/bigbrownbag.jpg) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/13 "2006-08-10T14:15:55Z")
I believe it was last year that a guy stole a beer truck in New Brunswick, Canada. The only problem is the beer was destined for Mexico and a Spanish labeled local beer tends to stand out in Canada. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/14 "2006-08-10T15:30:23Z")
[Oxytocin](http://www.sheriff.co.wise.tx.us/cuffnstuff/09-06-02.htm). Just look for the guys with the milk-stains on the front of their shirts! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/15 "2006-08-10T15:36:43Z")
An active [surveillance security camera.](http://www.hawaiinews.com/archives/crimestoppers/000242.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/16 "2006-08-10T15:48:19Z")
A hot stove. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/17 "2006-08-10T15:49:55Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > A friend told me the story of her brother, who owns a lawn-cleaning business. (Professional pooper-scooper, I call it.) He would put the turds in plastic grocery bags, tie them up and deposit them in paper shopping bags with handles. Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and Bloomingdales and other mall stores. > > Once, while he was cleaning a yard, a kid ran up, snatched several of those bags out of the back of his truck and ran like hell. Everyone always says they wish they could have seen the kid’s face when he opened his bags of stolen booty. > > Dog Poop: number 7 on the list of things not to steal. Not stolen, but a funny story involving a big sack o’ dog turds. The neighbor across the alley from my dad had several large dogs, and bought large sacks of dog food. He used the empty dog food sacks to hold the dog turds left behind by the large dogs. Lots of turds. He’d throw the sacks into the dumpster right behind dad’s fence. The bottom rotted out of the dumpster and they had to clean up the spilled garbage before they could place a new dumpster. The spilled garbage included at least one very large bag of dog crap. A bag that had gotten wet and had no strength left. The guys picking it up didn’t know this. My dad listens from behind the fence as the discovery was made. “Oh shit! Shit!” “What is it?” “SHIT! DOG SHIT! A bag of %_(&_# DOG SHIT!” He never made a peep, he was afraid they’d think it was his bag of dog shit. He felt sorry for the guys cleaning it up, but you’d never guess it by the way he was laughing when he told the story. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/18 "2006-08-10T16:28:54Z")
[Electric wire from a electrical transformer substation.](http://www.oanow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=OAN/MGArticle/OAN_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1031781674093) ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/19 "2006-08-10T16:44:02Z")
> **[BBC NEWS | UK | England | Somerset | Parrot thief escapes prison term](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/somerset/5244364.stm)** > > A burglar who stole a parrot with a "vicious temper" is given a six-month suspended sentence. I reckon a parrot isn’t a great thing to steal when it gets ornery. There’s more here. > **[Stupid People - Dumb Crook News](http://www.bitoffun.com/Stupid_people.htm)** > > Dumb crook news stories, general stupidity, and dim bulb tales at it's funniest. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/20 "2006-08-10T16:51:43Z")
> [@Mama Zappa](#): > > [Oxytocin](http://www.sheriff.co.wise.tx.us/cuffnstuff/09-06-02.htm). > > Just look for the guys with the milk-stains on the front of their shirts! Ha! You made me laugh. I would love to see those guys when they take it. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135.md?page=2)