# Top 10 things not to steal **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135 "2006-08-10T09:31:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/21 "2006-08-10T17:31:53Z")
> [@Mama Zappa](#): > > [Oxytocin](http://www.sheriff.co.wise.tx.us/cuffnstuff/09-06-02.htm). > > Just look for the guys with the milk-stains on the front of their shirts! About the first 50 times I read this, I saw Oxycontin, not Oxytocin… A big haul of hillbilly heroin would be a very lucrative thing to steal, if you don’t get caught selling. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/22 "2006-08-10T18:05:47Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > About the first 50 times I read this, I saw Oxycontin, not Oxytocin… > > A big haul of hillbilly heroin would be a very lucrative thing to steal, if you don’t get caught selling. Yes, one presumes the thieves made the same mistake :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/23 "2006-08-10T18:18:43Z")
A [check deposit machine instead of an ATM](http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14273790/). ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/24 "2006-08-10T18:20:31Z")
From news stories and Darwin awards I’ve read over the years : A box of frozen severed heads, from a surgical teacher IIRC. “I hope he opened the box, took one look and fainted dead away.” A dog walking lady’s bag of dog poop ( a theme here . . .). Radioactive waste; I recall a neighborhood of kids in Mexico stealing the “magic glowing dust” from some medical machine dumped by a local hospital, and smearing it over themselves because it looked cool. Load bearing members from the bottom of a power transmission tower you are standing under. CRUNCH ! Animal euthanasia solution, under the impression it’s drugs; you’d think the POISON and skull-and-crossbones labels would have stopped them from taking it, but no. A Polaroid camera from the desk of a police officer - after taking a picture of your face to see if it works, and tossing the photo in the cop’s wastebasket. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/25 "2006-08-13T18:03:52Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Animal euthanasia solution, under the impression it’s drugs; you’d think the POISON and skull-and-crossbones labels would have stopped them from taking it, but no. Evidently that’s not an isolated incident. True story: PapaArmadillo, DVM, used to drive a Bronco with a big “vet box” in the back–like a monster sized toolbox, with everything from calf-pulling equipment to… well, anything he might need on a house or ranch call. One of these bits of equipment was a bottle of euthanasia solution. One day, some bright criminals busted into the truck and stole _only_ the bottle of euthanasia. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/26 "2006-08-13T18:25:13Z")
A few years ago I read about a guy who broke into a house and, amongst the things he stole, were two tickets to an important football game. On the day of the game the police turned up at the stadium and found the thief and his son sitting in the appropriate seats. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/27 "2006-08-13T18:26:42Z")
Well, many criminals aren’t the cleverest bunch. Oh, and to clarify, when I said that they _took_ the poison, I meant they _used_ it; the cops found their bodies. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/28 "2006-08-13T18:37:05Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [Electric wire from a electrical transformer substation.](http://www.oanow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=OAN/MGArticle/OAN_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1031781674093) :eek: Important safety note: when stealing wire, _turn the frickin’ power off!_ ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/29 "2006-08-13T18:45:28Z")
I once worked with someone who was stationed in Ceylon (as was) when he was in the Navy. They were trying to lay a telephone cable between two military bases. As fast as the cable was being laid, it was being stolen. One night they plugged the end of the cable into a mains socket. Next morning they found the dead thief still holding an axe. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/30 "2006-08-13T19:20:38Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > An active [surveillance security camera.](http://www.hawaiinews.com/archives/crimestoppers/000242.shtml) \ I worked at an AOL call center in Albuquerque. The call center was huge and had three (outsourced) security guards on at all times. The call center closed at midnight because AOL was still in the process of getting it fully staffed. Anyway, I showed up at work one day, at 11 A.M., and there were a couple cop cars in the parking lot. I went inside to find out what was going on. It turns out that someone had ripped off the security camera in front of the main entrance at roughly 2 A.M. At 2 A.M. there were three security people on shift. The funny thing about this is that none of the security guards noticed that the camera was missing until about 9 A.M. Two of the three security desks had dedicated monitors showing each of the cameras feeds. One camera had been white noise for hours and no one noticed. The fact that the camera was missing was spotted by a regular employee. Obviously this is not good. So anyway, the next day I show up at work and I happened to arrive at the same time as a guy named David. David was a Brittish chap, a really funny and smart guy. We walked in and David stopped at the security desk. He plopped this big old breifcase that he always carried on the security desk. He flipped the case opened, stuck his hand in the case, pulled out a camera and said, in his wonderful Brittish accent with a totally straight face, “Say, could you do me a favor? Could you watch this for me?” and handed the security guard the camera. I was right behind him. I just about exploded. It was the funniest damned thing, the security guard had a stupified look on his face while David just stood there smiling like nothing odd was going on. The funniest thing about the whole deal was that the cameras recorded on a loop. They would record for like two hours then reuse the same tape, or at least that is what I was told. Due to this and the fact that no one noticed earlier, the tape of the person stealing the camera had been recorded over. No one was ever caught. Slee ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/31 "2006-08-13T19:34:02Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :eek: > Important safety note: when stealing wire, _turn the frickin’ power off!_ He also forgot to use the potato… (yep, I’m going to hell) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/32 "2006-08-13T19:35:20Z")
A doughnut related dumb criminal story. I grew up and live next to Middletown, NJ. There is a [Dunkin’ Doughnuts in the middle of Route 35](http://www.google.com/maphp?hl=en&q=&ie=UTF8&ll=40.393569,-74.102322&spn=0.002897,0.004946&t=h&om=1)\* that is also a few hundred yards from the Middletown Police station. A couple of young punks from North Jersey were traveling home late at night from the Shore and realized they were short on cash for Tolls and Gas. They decided to rob the Dunkin’ Doughnuts. They walked in, pulled out their guns and demand all the money in the register. Already in the Dunkin’ Doughnuts were two cops that just got off duty and by the time they pulled their guns out 2 uniforms walked in because this store was effectively the Middletown Police break room. The pair was quickly apprehended and reportedly one of the criminals said “Man the cops down here are really fast”. Jim - The Police station is in the upper left corner and the Dunkin’ Doughnuts is in the lower right corner. You can see the highway splits and goes around the store and also a gas station. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/33 "2006-08-13T19:41:13Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Already in the Dunkin’ Doughnuts were two cops that just got off duty and by the time they pulled their guns out 2 uniforms walked in because this store was effectively the Middletown Police break room. Now I’m reminded of the crook who tried to rob a gun shop, walked right past a marked police car to get inside, _and_ past the uniformed cop just inside. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/34 "2006-08-13T22:32:05Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Now I’m reminded of the crook who tried to rob a gun shop, walked right past a marked police car to get inside, _and_ past the uniformed cop just inside. And, as stated in a Darwin Award book, he fired a shot in the air inside said gun shop to announce the robbery. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135/35 "2006-08-13T23:22:36Z")
I heard this story at college. West Dorm was built in a U-shape around a central courtyard. One guy on the ground floor had a pair of gigantic speakers outside his door. On Friday afternoons he would hook up his laptop and play music from it, loud enough to shake the windows throughout the entire quad. One day a thief walks in and decides to steal the laptop, which is lying on top of the speakers. Of course, as soon as he unlpugs it from the speakers the music stops in mid song. About 100 people on the quad immediately look directly at the speakers. He got tackled before he made it fifty feet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-10-things-not-to-steal/368135.md?page=1)