# Top Gear - Who should replace Clarkson? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 26, 2015, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065 "2015-03-26T21:12:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/21 "2015-03-27T17:39:46Z")
Mike Tyson. At least he can throw a punch, but doesn’t do so on comedy roasts when people are insulting him. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/22 "2015-03-27T17:40:40Z")
Ricky Gervais or nobody. I expect Clarkson, Hammond, and May to be offered a chance to do a show on another network. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/23 "2015-03-27T18:22:15Z")
Hammond and May don’t want to go on without Clarkson. Their contracts are up this year, and they likely won’t be renewing anyway. BBC will either find a new trio or cancel. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/24 "2015-03-27T18:35:16Z")
I know of these three guys who know about cars (having tested hundreds - on the track and public roads), can present in an affable manner (having done so for many years), get along quite well and have a pretty good sense of humour. They’re called Clarkzone, Ham Sandwich and Might. OR In memory of Lord Sir Great Captain King Clarkson, they should replace it with a new program called ‘Stop Gore’. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/25 "2015-03-27T22:09:19Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I do think it would be cool to have a woman. Just not Vicki Butler-Henderson. Why not? I’ve seen a couple episodes of _Fifth Gear_ and thought she was very good. (I’d have hardly recognized the picture in the article, though.) The downsides I see are that she may be too good a driver (part of the _Top gear_ magic was how much their plans exceeded their abilities) and may take herself too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/26 "2015-03-28T09:46:43Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Why not? I’ve seen a couple episodes of _Fifth Gear_ and thought she was very good. (I’d have hardly recognized the picture in the article, though.) The downsides I see are that she may be too good a driver (part of the _Top gear_ magic was how much their plans exceeded their abilities) and may take herself too seriously. It could work if she played the straight-woman as compared to the other two numpties. I do think though they should do a top to bottom reshuffle with entirely new presenters, but you just know the BBC would over-analysis it and smooth the whole thing into blandness or try to appeal to a certain demographic. Another part of the Top Gear magic was that in my experience at least virtually _everyone_ I’ve talked to seems to have liked it, even if they weren’t into cars at all. Eddie Irvine was mentioned above, I don’t think he could carry a full season but as an occasional guest presenter he would fit the bill, dry sense of humour, bit of a jerk and doesn’t really care about other people’s opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/27 "2015-03-28T10:11:32Z")
Steve Coogan could portray an annoying, boorish jackass pretty well. But, unlike Clarkson, I think there’s fewer levels between the man and the character so I’m not sure that Hammond and May would get along with him. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/28 "2015-03-28T10:16:59Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I see that Rowan Atkinson is on the list. That would be…interesting. He’s a massive petrolhead, has a vast car collection and races touring cars. He was the first name I thought of, but he’s getting on and doesn’t need the money. I vote for Bill Bailey. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/29 "2015-03-28T11:35:02Z")
Bill Bailey’s not a car guy. He likes birds. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/30 "2015-03-28T11:40:15Z")
Ray Winstone ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/31 "2015-03-28T17:59:54Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > This isn’t America and the while the BBC is a business it is not a slave to the dollar like your american channels are. They took Top Gear off the air before and they could easily have done it again. They took it off the air in 2001 because nobody was watching it anymore. And the BBC of today is quite different than the BBC of even a decade ago. Then - and historically - it was a public interest broadcaster. Now it’s a moneymaking machine. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/32 "2015-03-28T20:25:54Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > [@Hamlet](#): > > > > I’m rooting for Helen Mirren or Dame Judi Dench. > > I do think it would be cool to have a woman. Just not Vicki Butler-Henderson. [Sabine Schmitz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabine_Schmitz) could do a good job. She’s one of the presenters of the German version of Top Gear, has appeared on the UK original more than once and is more than qualified to race any car. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/33 "2015-03-28T20:32:50Z")
I’d have no problem with that at all. I’ve always thought the one thing the US version of TG has over the original is Tanner Foust - that is, somebody who can actually drive well (and talk, of course; the Stig doesn’t count.) Clarkson is the best of the three judging by their lap times but he’d be the first to admit that he’s not particularly good. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/34 "2015-03-28T20:34:31Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Bill Bailey’s not a car guy. I know, that’s why he’d be great. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/35 "2015-03-28T20:38:23Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > What’s Cameron Diaz up to these days? Side question ---- wasn’t there a fake Cameron Diaz (some guy they gave that name to) during one of the reasonably priced car “start-ups”? There was the Well Spoken Man but I recall something with her name and the Hamster as well. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/36 "2015-03-28T20:45:23Z")
The Well Spoken Man was [James Hewitt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Hewitt), a former lover of Princess Di. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/37 "2015-03-28T20:48:54Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > [Sabine Schmitz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabine_Schmitz) could do a good job. She’s one of the presenters of the German version of Top Gear, has appeared on the UK original more than once and is more than qualified to race any car. Agreed, she would also be a good choice. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/38 "2015-03-28T21:33:26Z")
I think they should just start shooting a new series with Clarkson and simply not mention it. When it is brought up just dismiss it with a comment like, “I’m sure we can leave all that in the past, it has already been dealt with and we are looking to move on from it.” Become annoyed at further questioning, “Look he’s been punished. We can’t punish him again for an event in the past. On a brighter note, we held extensive auditions to find a replacement for Jeremy and Jeremy was clearly the best fit. So let’s all make him welcome.” ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/39 "2015-03-28T21:47:09Z")
If I were running the show, I’d already be on the phone to Kari Byron’s agent. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065/40 "2015-03-28T23:26:38Z")
[Edd China](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edd_China). He is younger, funnier, taller, knows more about cars and is not an insufferable clod (as far as I can tell). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-gear-who-should-replace-clarkson/716065.md?page=3)