# Top Secret **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600 "2005-01-25T16:24:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/21 "2005-01-25T18:36:09Z")
“I’m not the only man to have lost his woman to the man she was stranded on a desert island with, only to resurface as the leader of the French Underground in East Germany.” “I know, it’s like the plot of some bad movie.” They both slowly look at the camera. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/22 "2005-01-25T18:36:15Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > {Reels in shock} :eek: :eek: :eek: > > You must…really…at once! > > Or you’ll never know what to do if gravity fails. 😉 > > Stranger I’m gonig to , honestly, this weekend! Just don’t spoil it! ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/23 "2005-01-25T19:06:44Z")
Don’t bother netflixing or renting _Real Genius_, just buy it. And thank us later. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/24 "2005-01-25T19:13:21Z")
singing…“When we shoot the curl we really shoot the curl…” ---
**Author:** ![alimarx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@alimarx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alimarx)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/25 "2005-01-25T19:14:46Z")
I thought the Swedish bookstore scene, filmed entirely backwards, was truly inspired. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/26 "2005-01-25T19:16:27Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > singing…“When we shoot the curl we really shoot the curl…” I wish they all could be double barrelled girls. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/27 "2005-01-25T19:26:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’m gonig to , honestly, this weekend! > > Just don’t spoil it! As long as you start a thread (something a long the lines of "I Just Saw _Real Genius_ And It Has Changed My Life!), after you watch it. “And Kent…stop…” {restraining self from completing the punch line…} Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/28 "2005-01-25T19:34:49Z")
> [@Jenny Haniver](#): > > Don’t bother netflixing or renting _Real Genius_, just buy it. And thank us later. > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > As long as you start a thread (something a long the lines of "I Just Saw Real Genius And It Has Changed My Life!), after you watch it. OK, I’ll buy it. I do like Val a lot, and I think that if the same people who liked **Top Secret** like it, it should be OK! Plus, I really don’t mind owning an extra DVD! Will let you know. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/29 "2005-01-25T19:55:14Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > OK, I’ll buy it. I do like Val a lot, and I think that if the same people who liked **Top Secret** like it, it should be OK! Plus, I really don’t mind owning an extra DVD! > > Will let you know. Did you like Thunderheart? The Doors? Willow? ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/30 "2005-01-25T20:03:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Who knows the words to the East German national anthem by heart? I thought you’d never ask! “Hail, hail East Germany Land of fruit and grape Land where you’ll regret If you try to escape No matter if you tunnel under or take a running jump at the wall Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn’t first.” (I sing it in the shower sometimes) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/31 "2005-01-25T20:07:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Did you like Thunderheart? The Doors? Willow? I haven’t seen Thunderheart or the Doors. Should I? Willow? Are we talking about the same Willow…on reflection, no. No we aren’t and I haven’t seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/32 "2005-01-25T20:07:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Did you like Thunderheart? The Doors? Willow? **Tombstone** might be the best Val Kilmer movie, though Kurt Russell gets all the best lines: “skin that smokewagon.” I love it in **Top Secret** when the people land on the statues of the pigeons and take dumps. The tunnel always used to crack me up too. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/33 "2005-01-25T20:14:31Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > **Tombstone** might be the best Val Kilmer movie, though Kurt Russell gets all the best lines: “skin that smokewagon.” > > I love it in **Top Secret** when the people land on the statues of the pigeons and take dumps. > > The tunnel always used to crack me up too. Yes, I do like Tombstone a lot. And I think Val has some excellent lines. “I’m your Huckleberry.” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/34 "2005-01-25T21:26:42Z")
I loved all the fake german Der Pizza Haus Das Fenchen Switchen ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/35 "2005-01-25T21:39:58Z")
Hey, I _like_ \*\* Willow\*\*! Although, I saw it when it first came out and hadn’t read \*\*Lord of the Rings \*\* yet, so that might have something to do with it. Still, Val Kilmer is fabulous in it. “That’s magic? It smells terrible.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/36 "2005-01-25T21:48:47Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I haven’t seen Thunderheart or the Doors. Should I? > > Willow? Are we talking about the same Willow…on reflection, no. No we aren’t and I haven’t seen it. Thunderheart was a little disappointing, but I like Graham Greene. The Doors is a so-so Oliver Stone flick, but Kilmer’s performance is really good. Besides, we get to see Kathleen Quinlan naked. Always a good thing. Willow is great movie, although it may pale in comparison to LOTR. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/37 "2005-01-25T21:49:16Z")
**Tombstone** is excellent. \*\*The Doors \*\* is a piece of self-important trash, ruined by the direction. But…Kilmer is excellent in it, and does all of his own singing. His voice is spookily similar to Morrison’s. Who knew East German cells were wired 220? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/38 "2005-01-26T00:49:30Z")
Oh, he’s just a little horse. I’ll miss you, Scarecrow, most of all. Neek! Neek! (never be the back half of a cow costume) ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/39 "2005-01-26T02:17:27Z")
Things change… People change… Hairstyles change… Interest rates fluctuate… (My husband and I say that to each other all the time. We saw this in the theater and it’s still funny to us.) I’ll chime in with another recommendation for **Real Genius**. It’s one of our favorite films. There’s a lot of good music in it too, including “You Took Advantage of Me” which only means something after you’ve seen the film. And I’ll always associate “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” with THIS movie, and nothing else. It plays through the end credits and is the perfect cap to the movie. I highly recommend sitting through the credits and letting the song soak in. Even if you’ve heard it a million times, I’d hope you hear it in a different light, as part of the movie. The lyrics are just…perfect. We watched **Get Shorty** the other night and I yelled out “Lazlo!” when Jon Gries showed up. I’d forgotten he was in it. He was Delroy Lindo’s partner, the one who gets plugged by Ray ‘Bones’ Barboni. He was also the lunkhead uncle in Napolean Dynamite. Typecasting sucks, but he’ll always be Lazlo Hollyfeld to me. I loved Michelle Meyrink too. Too bad she quit acting. Val’s always great, even in not so good movies, but this is my favorite film by him too. He’s so goofy and fun and has all the best lines, he’s delightful. Back to Top Secret, an even goofier movie, Die Sauerkraut ist in mein Lederhosen. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600/40 "2005-01-26T03:28:07Z")
**Smeghead** Since I am a _huge_ fan of “Top Secret”, please make accurate quotes: * * * Nick Rivers: I’m not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground. * * * I believe “Top Secret” was mentioned in another thread a month or 2 ago. “Dopers” were surprised when I mentioned that (hard as it is to believe) there are some people who do not find this movie funny. I think it’s a riot. For more quotes go to this IMDB link: > **[Quotes from "Top Secret!"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088286/quotes)** > > General Streck, German High Command: What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-secret/286600.md?page=3)