# Top Ten Features of Trump's Social Media Platform **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2021, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398 "2021-03-22T03:53:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/1 "2021-03-22T03:53:22Z")
As you have probably seen, a Trump aide has said he is going to start his own social media platform. I’ll believe it when I see it. But in the meantime, let’s try to guess the top 10 features of a social media platform designed by Donald Trump. I’ll start us off 1. It will be called Trumpr 2. Trumpr will have a dating feature. Trump will be the only male allowed to put up a profile. Swiping right on his profile will be a compulsory part of the registration process for women who wish to join Trumpr. Women will only be allowed to put up a profile if they look like a Stepford Wife or a porn star 3. The only allowable posts will be (a) those by Trump, or replying or forwarding his posts; and (b) posts about Trump. The only acceptable ways of referring to him will be as “The Donald”, “Sir” or “Mr President”. 4. Trumpr reserves the right to sanction users for inoffensive posts. over to you… ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/2 "2021-03-22T04:05:15Z")
For a $300 upgrade (payable to “Mr President”), you get the Gold Premium Platform. It looks just like the regular platform, but the word TRUMP is automatically capitalized in red font whenver used. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/3 "2021-03-22T04:11:16Z")
If this ever does see the light of day, the company will pay Trump a licensing fee for the use of his name and face, another for management and consulting, and anything else Trump can think to squeeze out of them. Sometime after those checks clear, the company will go bankrupt, cease operations, and the investors will lose everything. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/4 "2021-03-22T04:47:58Z")
fees, subscription tiers and commercials. it’ll all be about fleecing his cult followers out of their money. Also constant censorship of anyone who calls out their lies while simultaneously whining about being oppressed. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/5 "2021-03-22T04:59:47Z")
You guys are treating this thread so seriously… ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/6 "2021-03-22T05:35:06Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Sometime after those checks clear Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/7 "2021-03-22T12:16:37Z")
Special membership status for anyone who names their offspring _Donald John_ or _Ivanka_ - bonus if they’re twins! ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/8 "2021-03-22T12:33:13Z")
Serious: The Trumpr board will be very in favor of section 230, Trump and the Trumpr members will be against it. Trumpr will be set up as a separate entity paying fees to Trump so he wont be liable for any problems. Also the built in autocorrect will not allow the word “orange”, replacing it with “manly tan”. Trumpr posters will insist that yes, they intended to post about having manly tan juice for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/9 "2021-03-22T14:41:17Z")
The captcha system will have you identify confederate soldier statues rather than the standard bicycles or boats. Passwords will be eight characters or less and only allow lower-case letters of common dictionary words like “penis” and “boobs”. To join, you’ll have to pass a QAnon knowledge test. Some of the first user accounts will be names related to “John Barron”, “John Miller”, and “David Dennison”. All three will go on an on about how perfect the word “covfefe” really is. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/10 "2021-03-22T15:44:54Z")
The new “We’re being muzzled!” talking point will be that twitter hasn’t introduced a separate field for conservative politicians to put in their Trumpr user name and that they aren’t preventing librarl users from generating automated block lists for twitter users with trumpr-handles in their profile. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/11 "2021-03-22T15:47:51Z")
Graduates of Trump University get access to a special locked forum. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/12 "2021-03-22T15:53:21Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > “covfefe” I thought it was covfee. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/13 "2021-03-22T16:56:06Z")
It will be the best social media platform ever! It’ll have ten billion users the very first day! ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/14 "2021-03-22T17:04:38Z")
1. Funnel every last red cent from every investor to the Trumps. 2. Pay the investors, lenders, developers and everyone else involved nothing at all, drag them into protracted legal disputes if they complain. 3. Shut whole thing down and complain about cancel culture. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/15 "2021-03-22T17:14:49Z")
It’s a covfefe clatch! ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-features-of-trumps-social-media-platform/938398/16 "2021-03-22T17:18:33Z")
There will be a “donate” button right next to the “post” button. They will be almost indistinguishable. They will be in a different order in the browser and desktop apps than in the phone apps. The “donate” button will be set up for One-Click donations.