# Top Ten Physical Acts that Gov Spitzer would pay $5000 for 4 hrs worth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2008, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070 "2008-03-12T02:57:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/1 "2008-03-12T02:57:22Z")
Help me out here. Things that you could get reasonably attractive constituents to do for free and perhaps with enthusiasm would be unlikely nominations to the list, right? OK, keeping in mind that his constituents include denizens of New York City… so we want things that are sufficiently debasing and universall appalling and unappealing, to the point that you could not find a large contingent of New Yorkers, probably with their own club and favorite bar if not an entire part of town devoted to the practice… I sure am drawing a blank. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/2 "2008-03-12T03:04:14Z")
You forgot “in a hopefully at least moderately anonymous manner”. Otherwise? I’m with you. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/3 "2008-03-12T03:30:37Z")
Being easily distractible I think I could only sustain continued interest in about $ 500 worth of ultimate prurience. After that I’d want to be eating Chinese takeout and drinking gin and tonics while she did card tricks, danced the robot, and told me ghost stories. I also want some ice cream somewhere in the mix. Even with all that I think I’d be ready for nappies after about $ 1,000 worth. ---
**Author:** ![Myself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@Myself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myself)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/4 "2008-03-12T03:37:52Z")
I heard it was just a hand-job, but he’s terribly sloooooooooow. His previous ‘date’ suffered irreversible repetitive stress, and the poor girls don’t get health care. And the tip was included. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/5 "2008-03-12T04:43:21Z")
Fleiss says he was probably asking for unprotected anal. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/6 "2008-03-12T04:47:52Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Wanderer] Fleiss says he was probably asking for unprotected anal. [/QUOTE] As in the hooker does him with a fluorescent ribbed strap-on named Anus Khan, or he wanted to do her? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/7 "2008-03-12T05:04:14Z")
Two girls pluck all his body hairs, while two more piss on a hand-painted portrait of Rudy Guiliani. Three consecutive girls receive his manly emanations, to later spit over the spectators’ rail into the New York Stock Exchange. ---
**Author:** ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/8 "2008-03-12T05:11:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Two girls pluck all his body hairs, while two more piss on a hand-painted portrait of Rudy Guiliani. > > Three consecutive girls receive his manly emanations, to later spit over the spectators’ rail into the New York Stock Exchange. Ding Ding Ding We have a WINNER! ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/9 "2008-03-12T11:51:18Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] Help me out here. Things that you could get reasonably attractive constituents to do for free and perhaps with enthusiasm would be unlikely nominations to the list, right? OK, keeping in mind that his constituents include denizens of New York City… so we want things that are sufficiently debasing and universall appalling and unappealing, to the point that you could not find a large contingent of New Yorkers, probably with their own club and favorite bar if not an entire part of town devoted to the practice… I sure am drawing a blank. [/QUOTE] Forgive my density, but I’m not quite getting what you’re asking/saying here. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/10 "2008-03-12T15:03:07Z")
I figured it was some kind of bdsm and/or role-play thing. Or something involving bodily functions of the kind usually performed in a bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/11 "2008-03-12T15:11:20Z")
No – he’s a politician. It involved an exact replica of the Oval Office in the White House, and the hooker playing the part of an enthusiastic young intern – while another was on the phone pretending to be the President of Russia. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/12 "2008-03-12T15:18:37Z")
1. Blow job. 2. Blow job. 3. Blow job. 4. Blow job. 5. Blow job. 6. Blow job. 7. Blow job. 8. Blow job. 9. Blow job. 10. Windows. (Nobody likes cleaning windows!) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/13 "2008-03-12T15:21:34Z")
Clean out my basement. Naked. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/14 "2008-03-12T15:46:09Z")
[QUOTE=Agent Foxtrot] Forgive my density, but I’m not quite getting what you’re asking/saying here. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure what the OPs getting at either. Though the title would make a great Top Ten list on Letterman. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/15 "2008-03-12T15:53:12Z")
I think it’s something like “WTF kind of sexual activity costs $1250/hr that you couldn’t get cheap or free, particularly in New York City?” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/16 "2008-03-12T15:57:53Z")
According to an NPR news story, the dollies were mules in a money-laundering scheme. Spitzer first attracted official attention because of “structuring.” Spitzer moved $80K in sizable chunks, all to one place. I’m not saying he didn’t get some fancy screwing in those meetings, but the authorities didn’t nail him just for hiring a call girl. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/17 "2008-03-12T16:07:07Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] I’m not sure what the OPs getting at either. Though the title would make a great Top Ten list on Letterman. [/QUOTE] > [@cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/](#): > > **Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses** > > ``` > 10. Oh c'mon, like **you** were never involved in a prostitution ring > 9. Hookers is fun > 8. Just trying to help the economy > 7. Have you ever **been** to Albany? > 6. It's part of my new MTV prank show "Spitz'd" > 5. Haven't been myself since Roy Scheider died > 4. Uh...tainted beef? > 3. Whether it's a hooker or your wife, you're always paying for it -- > you married fellas know what I'm talking about > 2. Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics > > aaaand the No. 1 Eliot Spitzer Excuse... > > 1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago > > ``` not bad… ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/18 "2008-03-12T17:02:53Z")
This would be my guess on what an itemized invoice might look like: $100: totally generic sex $900: Not telling Silda Wall Spitzer $1000: Not telling the New York Times $1000: Not telling the New York Post $1000: Not telling CNN $1000: Not telling FoxNews ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/19 "2008-03-12T17:33:12Z")
[QUOTE=jacquilynne] This would be my guess on what an itemized invoice might look like: $100: totally generic sex $900: Not telling Silda Wall Spitzer $1000: Not telling the New York Times $1000: Not telling the New York Post $1000: Not telling CNN $1000: Not telling FoxNews [/QUOTE] See what happens when you ignore MSNBC? I was thinking he could maybe get that forehead of his powdered. That thing could land airplanes in a blackout. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/20 "2008-03-12T18:13:09Z")
I’m guessing the biggest thrill was him getting to feel like a big shot who only goes for the “best” escorts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070.md?page=2)