# Top Ten Physical Acts that Gov Spitzer would pay $5000 for 4 hrs worth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2008, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070 "2008-03-12T02:57:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/21 "2008-03-12T18:27:03Z")
You pay for them to scream when you are in the room and silent outside of the room. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/22 "2008-03-12T19:46:37Z")
Personally, I think he watched _Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back_ one too many times: > [@](#): > > Hooker #1: You got 50 bucks, we can get NASTY. > Jay: Oh, yeah? How nasty? > Hooker #2: As nasty as you want to be, papi. > Jay: Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don’t stick you’re finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin’ friend’s brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin’ spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin’ flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out. > [brief silence] > Hooker #1: Oh, that’s it, honey! I quit! This job just passed the point of no return! > [both hookers leave] > Jay: What? You said “nasty”! Either that or unprotected anal. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/23 "2008-03-12T19:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=Indygrrl] I’m guessing the biggest thrill was him getting to feel like a big shot who only goes for the “best” escorts. [/QUOTE] I think this is the winner. The quiet satisfaction of knowing that you’re the kind of guy who can appreciate and afford the finest things in life. Because a $5000 whore is by definition ten times classier than a $500 whore, right? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/24 "2008-03-12T20:11:07Z")
Re the claim of the girls being professional models in their day jobs. Are models really that amazing in bed? In most of the “reality model” this and that shows they don’t come off as all that bright or sexy/erotic _at all_. Or is this a different kind of “modeling”? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/25 "2008-03-12T20:35:28Z")
Hiring a girl to have sex with you: $500 “Around the world”: $1000 While she’s dressed up like the Statue of Liberty: $2000 And having her call you “The Love Gov”: $4000 Not having her talk to the media afterwards: Priceless ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/26 "2008-03-13T14:16:40Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Hiring a girl to have sex with you: $500 “Around the world”: $1000 While she’s dressed up like the Statue of Liberty: $2000 And having her call you “The Love Gov”: $4000 Not having her talk to the media afterwards: Priceless [/QUOTE] My favorite. And BTW, Stephen Colbert called dibs on the phrase “Eliot Mess.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/27 "2008-03-13T15:00:20Z")
_Time_ magazine says that Spitzer just last year signed a bill increasing possible jail time for prostitution johns from three months to a year. Oh, the irony… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/28 "2008-03-13T18:36:34Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] According to an NPR news story, the dollies were mules in a money-laundering scheme. Spitzer first attracted official attention because of “structuring.” Spitzer moved $80K in sizable chunks, all to one place. I’m not saying he didn’t get some fancy screwing in those meetings, but the authorities didn’t nail him just for hiring a call girl. [/QUOTE] Let me amend that. The moving cash is what got the attention. Once the feds figured out it was just callgirls, the goal was taking down a Democrat. They pulled the plug on the wiretap, once they got Spitzer. > **[Spitzer Resigns Over Prostitution Scandal](https://www.democracynow.org/2008/3/12/spitzer_expected_to_resign_over_prostitution)** > > New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is expected to resign today over his involvement in a high-end prostitution ring. No charges have been filed against Spitzer, who became governor last year after campaigning to reform Albany. We speak with Wayne... The interview is with Wayne Barrett, who says the Bush Justice Dept. is prosecuting Democrats, nearly six-to-one. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/29 "2008-03-13T21:51:09Z")
I believe he wanted unprotected oral with happy ending/consumption. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/30 "2008-03-13T22:51:05Z")
I’m no madam, but I have to go with Fleiss on this one. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/31 "2008-03-13T22:59:10Z")
Two girls, one vote. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/32 "2008-03-14T01:18:56Z")
Q: Don’t his eyes always look like they were [mascara’d up](http://libizblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/spitzer.jpg) like a ‘Ten Commandments’ extra from Pharaoh’s court? Maybe he went old-testament on their asses… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/33 "2008-03-14T02:20:18Z")
Did he ask if she Spitzer swallows? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/34 "2008-03-14T02:36:51Z")
The actual prostitute: Not so much. The costumes and makeup needed to make her look like his enemies, before “commencing to buggery”: The lion’s share. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/35 "2008-03-14T02:49:24Z")
[QUOTE=Ignatz] Did he ask if she Spitzer swallows? [/QUOTE] 😃 Chalk one up for **Ignatz**! ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/36 "2008-03-14T09:32:29Z")
[QUOTE=Myself] I heard it was just a hand-job, … And the tip was included. [/QUOTE] Well I hope so! If it didn’t include the “tip”, then he got “shafted”. CMC +fnord! Who would pay for a hand-job that doesn’t include the “tip”? No “tip”, no “tip”. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/37 "2008-03-14T18:04:54Z")
[QUOTE=Ignatz] Did he ask if she Spitzer swallows? [/QUOTE] For $1250 an hour, she better _gargle_. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070/38 "2008-03-14T21:16:47Z")
What Fleiss said, plus silence about all the cocaine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-physical-acts-that-gov-spitzer-would-pay-5000-for-4-hrs-worth/441070.md?page=1)