# Top Ten Reasons To Be a Doper **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835 "2009-04-03T10:39:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/41 "2009-04-04T14:46:09Z")
If we can go beyond ten, then is number 14 k of g in an f p d? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/42 "2009-04-05T01:22:43Z")
1. You never miss a new Chick tract. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/43 "2009-04-05T03:21:56Z")
1. You will find people interested in anything your cat has done. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/44 "2009-04-05T04:25:24Z")
Absolutely everything. Where else can a girl get such funny smartassery? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/45 "2009-04-05T07:20:55Z")
You can hang shit on every other doper. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/46 "2009-04-05T20:00:17Z")
Damn, it feels good to be a Doper! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/47 "2009-04-05T22:47:02Z")
1. Always sympathetic ears for trashing any and all gods, and any and all religions. 2. Can hate children with impunity. 3. Can pick up obscure news items to impress RW friends. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/48 "2009-04-05T23:27:47Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > 1. You are [this person](http://xkcd.com/386/). You know you are. I have, in fact, used that very line. My wife says she wants to cut me off from my forums. I say, ā€œHow else will I keep my blood pressure elevated?ā€ 1. We know all the words that end in -gry. 2. What else would we do all day at work? 3. Hi, Opal. 4. Charter members get all the hot chicks. 5. Members get their almost-as-hot friends. 6. Guests have to pay for our beers. 7. We can recognize a 1920ā€™s-style ā€œDeath Rayā€ at a glanceā€¦ and you never know when that kind of information might come in handy. 8. Weā€™re like _this_ with **Bad Astronomer**. 9. We donā€™t need no stinkinā€™ Smashy. 10. We know how to spell the word ā€œyouā€. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/49 "2009-04-06T03:46:57Z")
1. Will be prepared to survive the coming zombie apocalypse. 11a. Get to fornicate with Hot Doper chicks to repopulate the earth after we deal with Zack. ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/50 "2009-04-06T08:16:51Z")
Eating burgers at Millerā€™s! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/51 "2009-04-07T15:10:20Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Damn, it feels good to be a Doper! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![CallMeKate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CallMeKate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CallMeKate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/52 "2009-04-08T00:38:54Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > You have a huge penis and an IQ three standard deviations above the mean. And of the women? what do we getā€¦ surely not the sameā€¦ things could be quite complicated if so. ---
**Author:** ![CallMeKate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CallMeKate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CallMeKate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/53 "2009-04-08T00:41:23Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > 1. You will find people interested in anything your cat has done. ahahaha this made me laugh so hard when I read it, mostly because I have found myself reading threads about catsā€¦ and it seems to be very true! ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/54 "2009-04-08T00:55:45Z")
> [@Uncommon\_Sense](#): > > You can have sex with tons of women, but screw a sheep _one_ timeā€¦ Iā€™m cleaning my damn screen! šŸ˜ƒ Bastard! ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/55 "2009-04-08T01:56:35Z")
I burning your dog. Plus, the SNR is fairly high here. The Internet has much information, but information is not knowledge. Here I have the luxury of reading many threads where thoughtful people succinctly discuss the _important_ aspects of issues across a fairly broad spectrum of ideas. And Iā€™ve never seen another board where people will occasionally apologize for having posted in anger, excessive derision or sarcasm. Doesnā€™t happen as much as it might, but apologies on the Internet are about as rare as unicorns. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/56 "2009-04-08T03:54:29Z")
As long as you donā€™t tell anyone who you areā€¦ Frankly you can be your true self. ---
**Author:** ![CallMeKate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CallMeKate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CallMeKate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/57 "2009-04-08T05:35:36Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > 1. You never miss a new Chick tract. > [@Lakai](#): > > 1. You will find people interested in anything your cat has done. > [@dogbutler](#): > > 1. Will be prepared to survive the coming zombie apocalypse. > 11a. Get to fornicate with Hot Doper chicks to repopulate the earth after we deal with Zack. And when youā€™re a doper you can do anything you wantā€¦ like go on a thread about top ten something or others and use numbers like 11,12, and 13. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/58 "2009-04-08T06:25:40Z")
Itā€™s a marvelous place to wait to see what ensues! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/59 "2009-04-08T12:40:29Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > As long as you donā€™t tell anyone who you areā€¦ > Frankly you can be your true self. Honestly, I donā€™t find this to be true. I mean, I _could_ tell you that Iā€™m secretly the guy behind the curtain in North Korea, but that would take all the fun out of it. I wish I could get some of the credit, but just to maintain appearances, my personal/physical longevity (pesky CIA and KGB assassins), and to give the rest of the world something to do, I usually keep quiet about such things. Tripler I am pretty ronery though . . . ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835/60 "2009-04-09T06:52:31Z")
1: You enjoy reading the same overused inside joke phrases 2: You REALLY want one of these phrases to be an Internet sensation but they never catch on. 3: Buckeyes 4: Youā€™re quick to google answers on topics you know little about 5: You will pay to not see images on a webpage [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-reasons-to-be-a-doper/491835.md?page=4)