# Top Ten Things the US Found up Saddam's Azz **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574 "2003-12-17T18:26:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Xcalibur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Xcalibur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xcalibur)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/1 "2003-12-17T18:26:13Z")
X’s Top Ten List the US found up Saddam’s Azz… enjoy… javascript:smilie(’:D’) 10) Plastic Dildo 1. Bob & Neil 2. Wolf Blitzer 3. Pelvatron the Perfect Penis 4. Water Melon 5. Wet/Dry Shop Vac 6. The Bismark 7. U.S.S. Discovery 8. A serious gas build up and the #1 thing found up Saddam’s Azz 9. His brains ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/2 "2003-12-17T18:31:25Z")
What? - No Sean Penn? ---
**Author:** ![PbZep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58f4c7/32.png) [@PbZep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PbZep)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/3 "2003-12-17T19:00:35Z")
1. Jimmy Hoffa 2. A U.S. Army boot 3. Alladin’s lamp 4. Yassir Arafat’s head scarf 5. WMD 6. Quite an echo echo echo 7. Signed copy of _Satanic Verses_ 8. Paris Hilton video (it’s everywhere else, why not?) 9. Dictatorship for Dummies and the no.1 thing: 1. A pack of Camel’s (no not the cigarettes) ---
**Author:** ![PbZep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58f4c7/32.png) [@PbZep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PbZep)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/4 "2003-12-17T19:09:42Z")
Shoot: 1. should have been, OBL’s head scarf. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/5 "2003-12-18T16:27:59Z")
A receipt, showing he sold all his WMD to PETA. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/6 "2003-12-18T17:13:17Z")
A Dick. _This explains why you haven’t seen Cheney on television lately._ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/7 "2003-12-18T17:17:50Z")
1. Pounded sand. 2. Hanging chads. 3. Cheney’s nose, pronounced “Halliburton” 4. Ann Coulter’s nose: hysteria sells books. 5. George W.s nose: this is the horse he’s gonna ride to re-election. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/8 "2003-12-18T17:30:05Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** Well, it looks like the usual crowd is gonna turn yet another pointless and humorous thread into something better suited to the Pit with their political cheap shots at the Bush administration. Lemme give you all a word of advice: **Don’t**. I’ve asked many, many times that political crap not be placed in this forum. This notice goes to you especially, lissener. You’re griping over in the Pit about a thread in another forum that you don’t think belongs there while one of the reasons it may not belong there is because **you’ve** polluted it with remarks like you’ve made in this one. I notice you’re also griping that “the mods are ignoring us.” If you post political bullshit like that again in this thread, or any other in MPSIMS, and you’ll wish I was ignoring you. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/9 "2003-12-18T18:04:00Z")
Sorry about that **UB** (am I part of the usual crowd?) mine was meant more as a sophmoric “dick” joke than a political discourse. Point taken. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/10 "2003-12-18T19:50:41Z")
Don’t know what was up his ass, but it left scud marks on his underwear. ---
**Author:** ![PbZep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58f4c7/32.png) [@PbZep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PbZep)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/11 "2003-12-18T20:06:47Z")
If you scrutinize **UncleBeer’s Moderator’s Notes** , you’ll notice he subliminally slipped in a really good answer: _political crap_ 😃 **Pb** hopin’ this is taken for the MPSIM statement he intended. ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/12 "2003-12-18T21:10:02Z")
Weapons of ass destruction (Can’t believe noone has posted that yet) ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/13 "2003-12-18T22:08:45Z")
the two above me are great 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-ten-things-the-us-found-up-saddams-azz/219574/14 "2003-12-18T22:36:39Z")
If they find my car keys up there, let me know, cause I can’t find them anywhere…