# Top the previous poster's ridiculous threat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 17, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791 "2009-08-17T23:34:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/1 "2009-08-17T23:34:39Z")
Stop what you are doing this instant, you gormless trollop, or I will spank you with your own hand. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/2 "2009-08-17T23:35:49Z")
I’m gonna pay you for this! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/3 "2009-08-17T23:52:34Z")
I’ll slap you so hard your grandmother will feel it! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/4 "2009-08-17T23:54:03Z")
I’ll pop your eyeballs out and skull-fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/5 "2009-08-18T00:50:24Z")
I’m going to cock-punch you so hard, your unborn grandchildren will scream in pain. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/6 "2009-08-18T00:58:59Z")
Stop what you’re doing right now or so help me, I’ll _DESTROY THE UNIVERSE!_ ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/7 "2009-08-18T01:08:22Z")
Do that again, and for the brief remainder of your miserable life, you will scream in terror and wet yourself whenever you see a Barbie doll, although with the damage to your lungs and vocal cords you won’t be able to scream very loudly. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/8 "2009-08-18T01:10:14Z")
So help me, I will prop your eyelids open and tie you to a chair in front of which is a TV endlessly looping “Cop Rock.” ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/9 "2009-08-18T01:17:26Z")
I will Rickroll you in real life. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/10 "2009-08-18T01:17:44Z")
… I’ll buy you the complete DVD set of _Yes, Dear_. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/11 "2009-08-18T01:45:54Z")
I will beat you to death with a rake made of jalapenos and fire. ---
**Author:** ![JFLuvly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@JFLuvly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JFLuvly)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/12 "2009-08-18T02:32:30Z")
Ya gotta sleep some time! ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/13 "2009-08-18T02:49:50Z")
I will take everything you love and explode its atoms outward at the speed of light. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/14 "2009-08-18T03:12:49Z")
I will combust your canine companion! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/15 "2009-08-18T03:16:22Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > … I’ll buy you the complete DVD set of _Yes, Dear_. That was a good show! As for me, why, if you don’t stop that right this instant, I will come over there and smack the taste out of your mouth! Don’t make me pull this car over! ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/16 "2009-08-18T03:39:14Z")
I am going to hit you so hard Chuck Norris will join my fan club. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/17 "2009-08-18T04:31:08Z")
I’ll knock you so silly that you’ll understand all of the lyrics of the songs by _America_. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/18 "2009-08-18T05:28:39Z")
> [@picker](#): > > I will Rickroll you in real life. No idea what that would mean, but I’m scared. I will stop your heart take your breath, which is diagnosed as death remove your brain, from your skull make you dumb, make you dull sew you up and cut your hair, put you in a science fair tell them that your name is John make you a phenomenon freak of nature, make 'em hate ya not a girl will ever date ya ~ that ridiculous threat is from an old Special Ed hip hop song, quoted from memory, so most certainly incorrect. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/19 "2009-08-18T05:41:36Z")
Stop that, or I’ll hurt you so bad your _cat_ will weep in sympathy. Put that down, or I’ll extrude your gonads through a serrated piece of copper tubing. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791/20 "2009-08-18T05:52:40Z")
If you don’t stop that now, I’ll… I’ll… I’ll _tell your mom_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/top-the-previous-posters-ridiculous-threat/506791.md?page=2)