# Topics that are never appropriate to joke about **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 24, 2018, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379 "2018-01-24T14:12:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ArtBeforeScience](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@ArtBeforeScience](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtBeforeScience)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/101 "2018-01-27T14:42:15Z")
Sometimes there’s gallows humor, made by people under dire circumstances, that contains “transgressive” or taboo material about their own condition. Can be very dark. The transgressive nature of humor is what makes it effective: both as an outlet and as a form of defiance. It can also help people solve problems, like a creative insight or breakthrough. It’s a tool. ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/102 "2018-01-27T15:14:06Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > that women welcome blatant sexual advances at work if a guy is conventionally attractive enough, Is this not true? I’ve never been attractive enough to find out for myself, but this is the kind of thing you’ll find in most female romance novels and letters to cosmo. I also have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, when a really attractive guy is around and heterosexual women are in the area. You hear their voice change, they act different, it seems totally believable that the guy could make very crude and blatant advances and it would be treated totally differently. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/103 "2018-01-27T18:28:30Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Is this not true? I’ve never been attractive enough to find out for myself, but this is the kind of thing you’ll find in most female romance novels and letters to cosmo. I also have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, when a really attractive guy is around and heterosexual women are in the area. You hear their voice change, they act different, it seems totally believable that the guy could make very crude and blatant advances and it would be treated totally differently. Nah. There’s flirtation or being more aware of oneself around someone they find attractive. Then there’s crossing the line into actually acting on it in the workplace. Not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/104 "2018-01-27T20:07:28Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Is this not true? I’ve never been attractive enough to find out for myself, but this is the kind of thing you’ll find in most female romance novels and letters to cosmo. I also have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, when a really attractive guy is around and heterosexual women are in the area. You hear their voice change, they act different, it seems totally believable that the guy could make very crude and blatant advances and it would be treated totally differently. I’m sure that there are some women who would. But it general NO. Do women get a little loopy if they are really attracted to a guy - sure, some do. Do they then want the guy to make a BLATANT sexual advance towards them AT WORK? That would be, in my experience as a woman and talking to women, exceptional. (Hitting on them in a bar, OK - that’s what happens in bars, an invite for “coffee sometime” at work - that is respectful and could be innocent, or could lead to something - sure) ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/105 "2018-01-27T20:40:09Z")
> [@BobBitchin](#): > > Just stopped by to say EVERYTHING is fair game. > > I don’t think anyone has brought up cheap laughs. ( not offensive, but cogent to EVERYTHING IS OK) > Fart jokes may be easy, low hanging fruit…but if your audience laughs or better yet pays… it’s funny. > Beyond that I have no new content. > > Yes, funny is in the eye/ear of the beholder. > Dead baby jokes are not good at the baby’s funeral. > Some jokes are only funny because they are awful. > > Saying shitty things, then covering it with “just kidding” is ignorant, disingenuous, and a disservice to actual funny people. Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” (Proverbs 26:18-19, ESV) Unfortunately, there are many who have no idea what wit and humor are, cover up any outrageous insult or lie with “just kidding,” and then accuse the victim of having no sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/106 "2018-01-27T21:26:31Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Is this not true? I’ve never been attractive enough to find out for myself, but this is the kind of thing you’ll find in most female romance novels and letters to cosmo. I also have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, when a really attractive guy is around and heterosexual women are in the area. You hear their voice change, they act different, it seems totally believable that the guy could make very crude and blatant advances and it would be treated totally differently. I think that if a guy like that moves too fast (i.e. makes crude advances) a lot of women would think he was arrogant or full of himself, and that would be considered very unattractive. But he probably gets lots of opportunity to practise talking to women and can learn what will be acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/107 "2018-01-27T21:54:33Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’m sure that there are some women who would. But it general NO. > > Do women get a little loopy if they are really attracted to a guy - sure, some do. Do they then want the guy to make a BLATANT sexual advance towards them AT WORK? That would be, in my experience as a woman and talking to women, exceptional. What if he’s a part time underwear model/volunteer firefighter? He’s got perfect teeth and a 6 pack and a British accent and he’s nearly 7 feet tall and he makes 6 figures and he’s the boss? I’m just saying. Not sure if that guy could do any wrong. I sort of think that if he did make such a crude advance, he’s “obviously just kidding”. Maybe I just can’t process how it works. I can imagine a female coworker at that tier of attractiveness, and yeah. She could steal and eat my lunch right in front of me. Steal my stapler. Smash my keyboard and mouse. Slap me on the rump whenever I pass her desk. And yeah it would be “just kidding, how cute, tee hee, you’re a wild one” and I’d forgive her. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/108 "2018-01-27T21:58:21Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > If you’ve ever gone back and watched a lot of 90s television, it’s sometimes astounding the quantity of gay jokes that absolutely would not fly today. There are stereotypes of gays being overtly rapey and being aggressively infatuated by straight men. There are stereotypes of gays being emotionally hysterical and fainting at the drop of a hat. There are stereotypes of gays as catty and emotionally manipulative for the sole purpose of causing drama. > > These jokes have become a lot less funny today as we’ve become less ignorant about gay people themselves. We’ve realized that the gay people depicted in the media in the 90s weren’t written as gay people, they were written as what straight writers needed to believe about gay people to maintain their self-definition of heterosexuality. It’s only after we had real gay representation in the media and a broad societal understanding of what gay people actually were that those jokes started slowly disappearing because they just weren’t that funny. Oh I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s the same thing, but I’ll tell you this amusing anecdote anyway. A few years back, I was in San Francisco on a business trip and was catching up with a couple of old college fraternity buddies C (straight) and J (gay). We were hanging out with a couple of J’s friends (also gay) in one of their local gay bars having drinks and shooting the shit when C starts going on about how he doesn’t own a TV set. C gets a bit full of himself about these sort of things, so I respond with stuff like “I think that’s great that you have chosen this TV-free lifestyle, but you have to realize that some people aren’t going to be as comfortable with it and it will take some getting used to. I’m sorry, I said “choice”! I realize that it’s not a choice and just who you are.” J and his friends immediate got the joke and we all started chiming in with stuff like “we can show you some TV-free bars where you might feel more comfortable”, “having no TV is a lot more acceptable these days”, “are you going to try to convert us to no TV”. But in this context, the joke is funny because it recognizes those stereotypical gay conversations and applies it in an absurd way to a somewhat pompous friend pontificating about his cut-the-cord lifestyle. Also…did you never watch Will & Grace in the 90s? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/109 "2018-01-27T22:33:54Z")
> [@CelticKnot](#): > > Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” (Proverbs 26:18-19, ESV) > Unfortunately, there are many who have no idea what wit and humor are, cover up any outrageous insult or lie with “just kidding,” and then accuse the victim of having no sense of humor. But thin of humor is the one who doesn’t think the madman throwing all that stuff is funny shit! I don’t know if Daniel Tosh’s “rape” comments were actually funny, as I only saw second hand paraphrasing in the article. But Daniel Tosh is generally very funny. As is Seth McFarlane (mostly), Trey Parker & Matt Stone of Southpark, Louis C.K. (pre “rapey” stuff), Sarah Silverman, Bill Maher, Mel Brookes and any number of other comedians whose material can be considered “offensive”. I think that no topic should be considered off limits. Of course, individuals should recognize their setting, audience and actual comedic ability. i.e. maybe rape jokes at work is probably not a great idea under any circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/110 "2018-01-28T21:03:27Z")
Here’s a joke my wife talked me out of doing at a show. She felt the city and venue were possibly too conservative for it. I told it to some friends while we were out drinking and they thought it was funny. I was sitting in my living room the other day watching my cat lick herself, as cats often do. I said to her “Are you licking your wee-wee? I wish I could do that!” Then I thought to myself, “I’m a lot bigger than her – I could probably do that. Get my face clawed to hell, though.” Bestiality jokes – too sensitive? I would never joke about rape, or even mention it. It’s a violent crime that can leave victims traumatized and damaged for life, and yet it is common enough that for sure someone in any audience will have unfortunate personal experience with it. Definite no-go zone. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/111 "2018-01-29T00:06:00Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Is this not true? I’ve never been attractive enough to find out for myself, but this is the kind of thing you’ll find in most female romance novels and letters to cosmo. I also have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, when a really attractive guy is around and heterosexual women are in the area. You hear their voice change, they act different, it seems totally believable that the guy could make very crude and blatant advances and it would be treated totally differently. No, it’s blatantly and obviously not true. If nothing else, homosexual women, asexual women, and women who are turned off by conventional looks will not actually find a conventionally attractive guy hitting on them appealing in the least. Add to that women for whom the man has a major disqualifying characteristic; I know a lot of women who have negative interest in a guy young enough to be their kid, for example (and yes, 20 year olds will hit on 35-year olds). Now add in any women that are in a committed relationship or committed marriage. And any women that don’t mix personal life and work life, plus any that mix the two but don’t want it publicly known. And any women that don’t like crude passes and public sexual touch in the office. All of a sudden you’ve got an awful lot of women who about as interested in the pass from a conventionally attractive men as men are. I’ve been a fly on the wall when a friend of mine was complaining about how the company she works at was doing nothing about sexual harassment from a guy roughly her age, quite well off, and conventionally attractive. The fact that some women sometimes go all googly-eyed for a guy in certain circumstances doesn’t mean that all women are cool with it in all circumstances. And if you’re basing anything to do with treatment of real women in the workplace on fantasy writings like Cosmo and romance novels, stop. The idea that women in general are happy to have a random guy grab their tits at the office is just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/112 "2018-01-29T00:16:19Z")
Still working on my joke about the transgender Holocaust survivor who got raped on 9/11. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/113 "2018-01-29T15:25:52Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > Here’s a joke my wife talked me out of doing at a show. She felt the city and venue were possibly too conservative for it. I told it to some friends while we were out drinking and they thought it was funny. > I was sitting in my living room the other day watching my cat lick herself, as cats often do. I said to her “Are you licking your wee-wee? I wish I could do that!” Then I thought to myself, “I’m a lot bigger than her – I could probably do that. Get my face clawed to hell, though.” > Bestiality jokes – too sensitive? No, but too derivative. The classic joke goes something like: Two guys are walking down the street. They see a dog licking its balls. One guy says, “Man, I wish I could do that.” The other guy says, “Better pet him first.” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/114 "2018-01-29T15:54:03Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > There’s a fundamental difference between a joke with the subtext of “We used to be rounded up and shipped as slaves to be worked and raped and otherwise exploited. Deal with it!” and one of “We used to capture you black folks and ship you to America as pieces of property, ha ha!”. Q. Why don’t black people take cruises? A. They’re not falling for _that_ one again. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Why bother? They’re just going to lie there. \ > [@cochrane](#): > > Of course not. Everybody knows that ducks always ask for grapes. Curse you for that earworm. I will be hearing “bop bop bop” all day long now. > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Have you heard the one where a thin-skinned person walked into a Daniel Tosh standup routine? > > [It went about as well](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/daniel-tosh-rape-joke-laugh-factory_n_1662882.html) [as could be expected](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1&ei=IPloWvucIsnBjwSL2YGwCg&q=daniel+tosh+stand+up+rape+joke&oq=daniel+tosh+stand+up+rape+joke&gs_l=psy-ab.3...36903.42601.0.42892.18.14.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..18.0.0....0.iIt1pLuyG4k). Being raped by five guys sounds pretty bad. I mean, McDonalds isn’t great either but at least they only make you fat. > [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > I speak from experience, it frees up your material a lot. Word. I used to say “If you can’t joke about having a life-threatening disease, what good is it?”. And indeed I can remember the dearly-departed Doper **chique** who named her tumor (excuse me - “tumah”) “Ahnold” and kept up a fierce line of black comedy throughout her illness to its unfortunate end. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379/115 "2018-01-30T00:31:57Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > No, but too derivative. The classic joke goes something like: > > Two guys are walking down the street. They see a dog licking its balls. One guy says, “Man, I wish I could do that.” The other guy says, “Better pet him first.” LOL I thought I wrote a joke that’s already been writ, and better! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-that-are-never-appropriate-to-joke-about/807379.md?page=5)