# Topics you KNOW the mods will shut down fast. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754 "2004-07-19T02:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/61 "2004-07-21T22:25:46Z")
“You thought the Aristocrats joke was raunchy…” ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/62 "2004-07-22T01:52:29Z")
**Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” - NOT A Homework Problem** Looking at the _huge_ amount of information available about William Shakespeare on the Internet, I certainly do _not_ have to resort to a message board _if_ I were doing a homework problem about “The Tempest” (which I am _not_). Instead, this is a “Tempest” appreciation thread. That being said, “The Tempest” is certainly one of Shakespeare’s best efforts and it was the next to the last play he ever wrote. A very famous quote is Miranda stating “Oh brave new world that has such people in it”. Centuries later, Aldous Huxley … ahem … “borrowed” this quote for his book entitled “Brave New World”. The science fiction movie “Forbidden Planet” (1956) is based on this Shakespearean play. Yes, I have done extensive searching on the Internet about this fascinating mystical play. Still, there was something I could _not_ find about this play that has always puzzled me. Calaban can paint a room in 5 hours. Aerial can paint a room in 4 hours. If they both start painting at the same time, how long would it take them to finish? Further, let us suppose that 30 minutes after these 2 have started, Prospero (who can paint a room in 6 hours) joins Calaban and Aerial in the painting project. How long would it take to paint the room under these conditions? Don’t just show answers. I would like for you to show _all_ work. Oh and I did mention this is _ **not** _ a homework problem didn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/63 "2004-07-22T02:16:53Z")
Actual threads that were closed or posters banned “I think I hear something outside… I’m worried!” Then silence for several days while his board friends freaked out “Ladies, after sex do your labia hang loose and open for a while?” One popular poster actually got away with this as one of his first posts “Jerk moderator. This should not have been moved. I really do want to know why you can’t find been beaf and cheese burritos.” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/64 "2004-07-22T02:20:02Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Actual threads that were closed or posters banned > > “I think I hear something outside… I’m worried!” Then silence for several days while his board friends freaked out > “Ladies, after sex do your labia hang loose and open for a while?” > One popular poster actually got away with this as one of his first posts > > “Jerk moderator. > This should not have been moved. > I really do want to know why you can’t find been beaf and cheese burritos.” [Actually I should have linked the last one. It was one of the funniest threads ever](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101404&highlight=burrito). ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/65 "2004-07-22T02:23:42Z")
I just met \_\_\_\_\_ at DopeFest and WHEW is (s)he ugly! Post HERE the home addresses of Dopers from the White Elephant exchange How to permanently silence my neighbor’s barking dogs? Bitch just broke up with me: see the revenge nudie pics! Which works better in gas tanks, sugar or Nutrasweet? What are some white powders that really look like anthrax? What type of respirator cartridge works best aganst sarin? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/66 "2004-07-22T02:26:50Z")
My name is a killing word… Jerk Moderator! muad’DIB! muad’DIB! Take that! ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/67 "2004-07-22T19:58:25Z")
It seems an SDMB member got away with this posting: **Topics you KNOW the mods will shut down fast.** Getting back to posting #62, anyone have an answer to that algebra prob … er … that “Tempest Appreciation Thread” ?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/68 "2004-07-22T23:51:22Z")
In your average elementary school, what is the best personal weapon for inflicting the greatest number of casualties in under two minutes? Suicide bombs considered. Any Dopers willing to sell (or rent) their children? Virgins only, please. Dopers, help me figure out how to knock over my local bank. Any locksmiths or gun afficienados out there? What is the most destructive thing you could conceivably do with 5 thousand dollars, weekends to spare, and the will to do whatever was necessary? How about 50 thousand? Will the extra damage or casualties be worth the extra cost? If any Dopers don’t back off and apoligize after two of my posts demanding it, I’m gonna find them and beat the shit out of them IRL. I can resolve almost ANY situation by force, for a fee. I know you’ve thought about it, now DO it. It turn out that puppies and kittens can be processed into an irresistable whale chum, and the Japanes and Norwegians whaling industries will pay a fortune, for either the raw materials or finished product.Need advice from breeders and butchers. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/69 "2004-07-23T00:06:55Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Hitler: Bad rap? Well, he was no Snoop Doggy Dogg, that’s for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Pentax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dc4da7/32.png) [@Pentax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pentax)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/70 "2004-07-23T01:44:14Z")
Cecil ain’t so bright. I boinked Cecil’s wife/daughter(s) pic’s inside. Income tax evasion, what worked for you? I’m young, I’m horny, and I’m on a farm, what animal should I go after first. Identify this swelling in my “little scotsmen” pictoral aides included. Joke: Why do you wrap duct tape around a gerbil? Help me build my free porn bookmarks. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/71 "2004-07-23T02:30:38Z")
White dopers: if slavery were around to day, who would you own? I get Tyra Banks. Post your favorite racial jokes. OMG! How could they kill off Sirius? ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/72 "2004-07-23T05:07:57Z")
Professional counterfeiters, I need help. What’s the most I should pay hit man? Why do (enter race, religion, political viewpoint, etc.) ALWAYS (enter behavior you witnessed). I post using three different SDMB names. How many do you have? Lets find security loopholes in the SDMB operating system. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/73 "2004-07-23T05:17:14Z")
Cult movie appreciation thread - “Deep Throat”, “Devil In Miss Jones”, “Behind The Green Door” and related genres. The Empire State Building’s observation deck is fenced in. Would it still be possible to throw things off (bowling balls, shot puts, lead weights, etc) ? I want to save money on medical bills. How can I personally vaccinate my children at home? I heard a story that someone is selling a Corvette for $50 because someone died in it and the body wasn’t found for a long time and it’s impossible to get the smell of death out of the car. Anyone have the address of the person selling this car? ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/74 "2004-07-23T05:22:56Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > My name is a killing word… > > Jerk Moderator! muad’DIB! muad’DIB! Take that! Awww C’mon, that was from like four years ago! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/75 "2004-07-23T05:37:05Z")
Stand proud! It’s a Straight Dope Classic, on par with BanHattan. My first days were were kind of messy, too. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/76 "2004-07-23T06:45:38Z")
Banhattan was one of the hardest times I’ve laughed here. It’s been awhile, and my memory is a bit fuzzy, but I seem to remember it being a genuine typo, which is part of what made it so funny. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/77 "2004-07-23T10:12:41Z")
> [@LilyoftheValley](#): > > Which works better in gas tanks, sugar or Nutrasweet? I hear sugar makes Cinnamon Doughnuts roll out of the exhaust when you turn on the ignition. 😃 “What does LOL stand for?” “10 reasons why all Americans should die” I was thinking about starting up a MPSIMS thread just now, about my recent purchase of my first vibrator… I decided it was either too risqué or too gross for people to post on it, what do y’all think? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/78 "2004-07-23T16:10:53Z")
Which animal vaginas feel BETTER than human? Anyone know an iron-clad loophole defense in gay-bashing? Hi Opal! Is there a program that can trace the physical location of a Doper? I know the secret identity of Anthracite/Una !!! Wanna know, too? Check out this webcam image of an abortion clinic…you can see everyone’s face and liscence plate! I have _many_ nipples for CHINESE LAUNDROMAT! ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/79 "2004-07-26T05:57:56Z")
Hmm, I can’t think of a single one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754/80 "2004-07-26T06:45:00Z")
Goat won’t stay still, what should I do? Is genocide really that bad? What do you know, people can bounce. I’m 42 dating a 12 year old. How do I get rid of her nosey parents? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/topics-you-know-the-mods-will-shut-down-fast/255754.md?page=5)