# Torture your fellow Dopers .... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220 "2000-02-27T17:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cactus\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Cactus\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cactus_Rose)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/41 "2000-02-28T06:31:00Z")
"Raindrops keep falling on my Head. But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Crying’s not for me I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining Because i’m free-ee-eee. Nothing worrying me. So I just did me some talking to the sun And I said I didn’t like the way he got things done Sleeping on the job…" Thankfully, that’s all I can remember… * * * - A rose by any other name would still have thorns - ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/42 "2000-02-28T07:39:00Z")
Anything by “Raffi.” We were driving through the Mojave desert once and our kids were listening to a Raffi tape for the millionth time. My husband calmly pushed eject, took out the tape, rolled down the window and hurled it out into the desert. The crying sounded _good_ compared to “Joshua Giraffe.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/43 "2000-02-28T09:33:00Z")
When I was a little bitty boy, My grandmother bought me a cute little toy: Silver bells hanging on a shtring, She told me it was my Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/44 "2000-02-28T11:19:00Z")
_Aaaaaand Iiiiiii-heeeeee-yiiiiiiiiii… will always love yououououououou-woo-hoo-waa- Hiiiiiiiiiiii-heeeeee-yiiii… will always love yououououououou-woo-hoo-waa- Hiiiiiiiiiiii-heeeeee-yiiii… will always love yououououououou-woo-hoo-waa- Hiiiiiiiiiiii-heeeeee-yiiii… will always love yououououououou-woo-hoo-waa- Hiiiiiiiiiiii-heeeeee-yiiii… will always love youououououououuouou…_ Et cetera, ad infinitum. The Whitney version of course, 'cause Dolly’s verions is kinda cool, in a way. Whitney’s s_cks d_nk_y c_ck though 😉 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/45 "2000-02-28T12:45:00Z")
“Ninety SEVEN bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer, You take one down, pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall.” ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/46 "2000-02-28T13:28:00Z")
All by myself Don’t wanna live all by myself anymore… AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Anybody that sings this kind of crap deserves to be alone! * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/47 "2000-02-28T13:54:00Z")
All right, you asked for it… Chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chew it baby,… ::running:: * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/48 "2000-02-28T14:18:00Z")
Get your Nielsen earplugs out people… I can’t LIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE if living is without yooouuu I cant LLLIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE I cannt LLIIVVVEE any-MOOOOORRRRREEEEEE * * * J Because Fido ate the Hand Grenade for me, When the Tans came round to search the house at tea, I said, “Take this, dog, and eat”, He thought it was a can of meat, It was the hand grenade that Fido ate for me. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/49 "2000-02-28T14:40:00Z")
The heat is on/ The heat is on/ It’s on the street, wooooooooohoooo/ The heat is…on Informer, menosayblahblahblubyblahdiblee, alickyboomboomdown My baby takes the morning train/ he works from nine to five and then/ he takes another home again/to find me waiting for him * * * “I like toast.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/50 "2000-02-28T14:48:00Z")
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus o-o-o Amadeus * * * “You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/51 "2000-02-28T15:01:00Z")
JillGat: I remember now! “Making love is working up our appetite Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight Rubbing sticks and stones together Makes the sparks ignite looking forward to a little afternoon delight Skyrockets in flight Afternoon delight…” My God, look what you’ve done to me! Last night I couldn’t even remember the NAME of that song, now I’ve reconstructed the entire chorus! Aieeeeeeeeeeee! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: * * * If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/52 "2000-02-28T15:46:00Z")
AGH! SOMEONE HAND ME A ROCK SO I CAN BASH “AFTERNOON DELIGHT” OUT OF MY HEAD!!! (btw, I think the first line is “thinking of you’s working up an appetite,” not “making love is working up an appetite.” And now, my evil contribution: “Muskrat Love.” Muskrat, muskrat candlelight Doin’ the town and doin’ it right In the evenin’, it’s pretty pleasin’ Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam Do the jitterbug out in the muskrat land And they shimmy and Sammy’s so skinny {Refrain} And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed Singin’ and jinglin’ the jango Floatin’ like the heavens above It looks like muskrat luuuuuuuuvvv… * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/53 "2000-02-28T15:49:00Z")
Thanks, Chef. I’ll go slit my wrists now. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/54 "2000-02-28T15:53:00Z")
OK Chef, that’s it. Since the boundaries of good taste have been crossed now, allow me to add my second contribution: \*Ben, the two of us need look no more We both found what we were looking for With a friend to call my own I’ll never be along And you, my friend, will see You’ve got a friend in me Ben, you’re always running here and there You feel you’re not wanted anywhere If you ever look behind And don’t like what you find There’s one thing you should know You got a place to go I used to say “I” and “Me” Now it’s "Us:, Now it’s “We” Ben, most people would turn you away I don’t listen to a word they say They don’t see you as I do I wish they would try to I’m sure they’d think again If they had a friend like Ben…\* So there. Excuse me for a minute, I think I am going to toss my lunch now. * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/55 "2000-02-28T15:54:00Z")
Trust me, Chef, it’s ‘Making Love’. ‘Thinking of you, etc’ just doesn’t fit the meter pattern. As for ‘Muskrat Love’, (stepping into the wayback machine) I worked with a woman named Susie long ago who was engaged to a guy named Sam. Right about the time that song came out, there were a number of other songs dealing with couples named Sue and Sam. She was collecting them to play at her wedding! By the time this day is through, I’ll have at least one other Sue and Sam song, and I’m sure it’ll be as annoying as any in this thread. That is, if I don’t dive headfirst off a jetty into the pounding surf, first. * * * If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/56 "2000-02-28T15:59:00Z")
“Everybody Wang Chung Tonight!!!” ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/57 "2000-02-28T16:06:00Z")
…Precious and few are the moments we two can share… Whoa whoa whoa whoa! * * * Plunging like stones from a slingshot on Mars. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/58 "2000-02-28T16:49:00Z")
Who can make a sunriiiiiiiise? Sprinkle it with dewwwwwwwww? Cover it with choc’late an’ a miracle or two? The candy maaaaaaaaaaan. The candy man can. ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/59 "2000-02-28T17:07:00Z")
Skinnama-rinky-dinky-dink, skinnama-rinky-doo, I love you… – TMR ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/60 "2000-02-28T17:19:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by NickyLarson: > \*\*Trust me, Chef, it’s ‘Making Love’. ‘Thinking of you, etc’ just doesn’t fit the meter pattern. > \*\* Okay, buddy, you asked for it. “Afternoon Delight,” by the Starland Vocal Band Gonna find my baby Gonna hold her tight Gonna grab some Afternoon Delight My motto’s always been when it’s right it’s right Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway Think of you is working up an appetite Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight Rubbing sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting Skyrockets in flight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Started out this morning feeling so polite I always thought a fish could not be caught who didn’t bite But you got some bait a’waitin and I think I might Like nibbling a little Afternoon Delight Skyrockets in flight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Be waiting for me baby when I come around We can make a lot of luvin’ fore the sun go down Think of you is working up an appetite Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting Skyrockets in flight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight Afternoon Delight There’s even a MIDI of it here: [www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/7685/Afternoon\_Delight.html](http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/7685/Afternoon_Delight.html) * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=4)