# Torture your fellow Dopers .... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220 "2000-02-27T17:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/81 "2000-02-28T22:08:00Z")
Havin my baby, What a lovely way of saying how much you love me… * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/82 "2000-02-28T22:11:00Z")
Havin’ my baby What a lovely way of saying how much you love me * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/83 "2000-02-28T22:20:00Z")
Evil! You’re all so Evil! I may never recover now… \ Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/84 "2000-02-29T00:15:00Z")
(Dodging missiles, fully instituting a scorched earth, mutually assured destruction policy …) \*Baby cried the day the circus came to town, Cuz she didn’t want parades just passing by her, So she (something something) smile and (something something) a clown, And she danced without a net under the wire I know a lot about her, cuz you see Baby was an awful lot like me I told her Don’t cry out looooouuuud Just keep it insiiiiiide And learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proooooouuud And if you should falllllll Remember you almost had it all.\* * * * “You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/85 "2000-02-29T00:43:00Z")
She’s my cherry pie Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise Tastes so good, make a grown man cry Sweet cherry pie You’re welcome. * * * “I’ll tell you a secret, baby - maybe you can’t do better - gotta settle for second best” - the Judybats ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/86 "2000-02-29T00:53:00Z")
:::Grabs microphone and straightens the lapels on his sky-blue tux::: Thank you, thank you. You’re too kind. Ahh. All these old songs just make me misty, and I’m glad you feel the same way about them that I do. Here’s a little tune about these classics… Ahem. “Yesterday’s songs Don’t stay around long Not much anymore” (Thank you.) "Yesterday’s words Don’t make themselves heard Like they did before. :::Strikes a faux-Elvis stance::: Baby, yesterday’s blues May be yesteray’s news But the truth always stays the same And the good things will never change Like sayin’ I love you Sayin’ I love you Yesterday’s songs Don’t seem to belong They’re here, and they’re gone Yesterday’s moves Don’t stay in the grooves They keep moving on Maybe yesterday’s rhyme Was for yesterday’s time And the future’s not ours to see But there’s some things that always will be Like sayin’ I love you Sayin’ I love you" Oh, thank you all _so_ much. That’s the show, good night! Remember to visit the gaming tables on your way out! -MrKaraokeKing * * * _When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown. But it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head._ ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/87 "2000-02-29T00:56:00Z")
:::Grabs microphone and straightens the lapels on his sky-blue tux::: Thank you, thank you. You’re too kind. Ahh. All these old songs just make me misty, and I’m glad you feel the same way about them that I do. Here’s a little tune about these classics… Ahem. “Yesterday’s songs Don’t stay around long Not much anymore” (Thank you.) "Yesterday’s words Don’t make themselves heard Like they did before. :::Strikes a faux-Elvis stance::: Baby, yesterday’s blues May be yesteray’s news But the truth always stays the same And the good things will never change Like sayin’ I love you Sayin’ I love you Yesterday’s songs Don’t seem to belong They’re here, and they’re gone Yesterday’s moves Don’t stay in the grooves They keep moving on Maybe yesterday’s rhyme Was for yesterday’s time And the future’s not ours to see But there’s some things that always will be Like sayin’ I love you Sayin’ I love you" Oh, thank you all _so_ much. That’s the show, good night! Remember to visit the gaming tables on your way out! -MrKaraokeKingItAll * * * _When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown. But it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head._ ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/88 "2000-02-29T02:54:00Z")
This calls for extreme measures! Let’s see… Could this be the magic at last? Come! Come, come into my life, Let me know the wonder of all of you… * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/89 "2000-02-29T02:59:00Z")
I once lived in an apartment where an aerobics studio was across a small courtyard outside my windows. Among the tunes that they played is Afternoon Delight, but with an aerobics beat. Imagine, if you will, waking up to the early class playing Afternoon Delight with a throbbing disco beat. Thank you all very, very much for dredging up these memories. :::holding his head::: (By the way, that apartment was also the one where the upstairs neighbor had only tape for his stereo – Madonna’s greatest hits album. He would come home after work and put it on every day for six months. I knew it was a tape because each day it would start in the middle of the song that he stopped in on the previous night.) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/90 "2000-02-29T03:07:00Z")
Wow. VB knows cheesy warrent songs too. Kinda spooky. Speaking of spooky… “I got a little change in my pocket, goin’ jing-a-ling-a-liiiing Thought I’d call ya on the telephone, thought I’d give ya a riiiing” That’s right. Georgia Satilites(sp). I went there. A couple more for your listening torture… “Loving you, is easy because you’re beautiful…La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la lalalalalalalalalala…” “I’ve got a tear in my beer, ‘cause I’m cryin’ for ya dear. You’re on my lonesome mind.” And, just becasue I’m feeling extra evil, here’s two from Suzzanne Vega “My name is Luka(sp) I live on the second floor I live upstairs from you yes I think you’ve seen me before” And… “Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do do.” Never has my sig. been more appropriate. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/91 "2000-02-29T03:16:00Z")
I got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you’ve got a brand new key… Oh! Oh what a lonely boy…Oh what a lonely boy…Oh what a lonely boy… * * * “If I had to live your life, I’d be begging to have someone pop out both my eyes. Just in case I came across a mirror.” - android209 (in the Pit) [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/92 "2000-02-29T03:21:00Z")
“She’ll be ridin’ Wiiiiillldddfiiiiirirre She’ll be ridin’ Wiiiillldddfiiiiiirre… She’ll be riding WIIIIiiiiIIIIIlllllddddddd FiiiIIIIIIRRRRRRRE!” Michael Murphy (?) I believe it’s called “Wildfire”. I submitted this selection to Dave Barry when he asked for nominations for worst song ever and he printed it in his column. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/93 "2000-02-29T03:21:00Z")
JillGat: I kiss you! _Those were the days_ was one of my grandmother’s favorite songs. I can’t tell you how many times I heard it as a kid, and it actually brings back very fond memories. Now that I’m done being all mushy, I’ve got just two more words to say: Pina coladas. Heh. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/94 "2000-02-29T03:28:00Z")
Midnight, not a sound from the pavement… Thank god that show is closing. ## More proof the Japanese economy is in the toilet: Not enough tourists to support ‘Cats’ If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/95 "2000-02-29T04:44:00Z")
Ebony and ivory Live together in perfect harmony Side by side on my piano keyboard Oh Lord Why don’t we? * * * “Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!” ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/96 "2000-02-29T04:54:00Z")
“They say we’re young and we don’t know Won’t find out unti-i-il we grow…” “I think we’re alone now There doesn’t seem to be anyone arou-ound…” “How do I get through one night without you If I had to live without you what kind of life would that be Oh, I need you in my arms need you to hold You’re my world my heart my soul If you ever leave… Baby you would take everything good in my life And tell me now, how do I live without you? I want to know how do I breathe without you? If you ever go, how do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?” "I can’t find a reason to let go Even though you’ve found a new love And she’s what your dreams are made of I can find a reason to hang on What went wrong can be forgiven Without you it ain’t worth livin’… alone Sometimes I wake up crying at night And sometimes I scream out your name What right does she have to take you away When for so long you were mine" * * * Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. _SD chat:_ **\** Kat’s here! the board must be down! ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/97 "2000-02-29T05:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > Okay, buddy, you asked for it. > “Afternoon Delight,” by the Starland Vocal Band > (snip) > > Think of you is working up an appetite > Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight > Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite > And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting My _gosh_, that’s a dirty song. I had no idea. :o And they were John Denver’s backup singers, too. And while we’re on that subject: Almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River… Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/98 "2000-02-29T06:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Catrandom: > \*\*Almost heaven, > West Virginia, > Blue Ridge Mountains, > Shenandoah River… > > Catrandom\*\* _Country road Take me home To the place I belong West Virginia Mountain mama Take me home Country road._ You do realize it took me _ **weeks** _ to get that out of my head the last time it took up residence? I must think of a suitable punishment… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/99 "2000-02-29T06:23:00Z")
And here’s the start of it: He’s got the whole world in his hands, He’s got the whole world in his hands, He’s got the whole world in his hands, He’s got the whole world in his hands. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/100 "2000-02-29T08:40:00Z")
I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA I’M BLUE! DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA DA BO DEE DA BO DA * * * Yer pal, Satan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=6)