# Torture your fellow Dopers .... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220 "2000-02-27T17:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/101 "2000-02-29T09:56:00Z")
“Let’s wait a while… Before it’s too late, Let’s wait a while… Befoooooooore weeee go too fahaaaar…” “Two steps forward, and two steps back, We fit together 'cause opposites attract!” “I could hardly believe it, When I heard the news today. I had to come and get it, Straight from yooooohoooooo…” “Music was my first looooooooove…” “A long, long time ago, I can still remember when The music used to make me smile…” “It was a theme she had on scheme he had, told in a foreign lahaand…” And if we’re doing cheesy Warrant stuff: “First time I went to California…” “You know you make me wanna… SHOUT!” Boy, am I in an EVIL mood today… sorry, had a bad nights sleep and now I want you **all** to feel just as miserable as me 😃 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/102 "2000-02-29T09:58:00Z")
_Cheezy Radio voice on_ And now, a classic from the seventies guaranteed to get you int that Dancing mood, It s Baccarra “Yes sir, I can boogie, but if you play my favourite song, I can boogie, boogie woogie, All night LOONNGGG” or " Oh Nikita you will never know," or “I never knew, that you liked Pina coladas” or “I’ve got a brand new pair of rollerskates and I’ll give you the key” [/hijack] there was a great version of that song released by a band called the Wurzels that went something like this “I ve got a brand new combine harvester and I’ll give you the key, come on now lets plough together in perfect harmony. I’ve got 20 acres, and you’ve got 43, I’ve got a brand new combine harvester and I’ll give you the key” * * * J Because Fido ate the Hand Grenade for me, When the Tans came round to search the house at tea, I said, “Take this, dog, and eat”, He thought it was a can of meat, It was the hand grenade that Fido ate for me. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/103 "2000-02-29T11:24:00Z")
You take my breath awaaaaaaaaaaaay…Rex Smith. Just be thankful I wasn’t able to get my hands on the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/104 "2000-02-29T11:55:00Z")
Don’t want no short people 'round here. ahem: The ink is black, The page is white, Together we learn To read and write. What? We have a request? > [@](#): > > Sealemon88: > > Anybody remember that Poison song Talk Dirty To Me? OOH! OOH! You know I never, I never saw you look so good You never act the way you should but I like it And I know you like it, too the way that I want you I got to have you Oh yes, I do You know I never, I never ever stay out late You know that I can hardly wait, just to see you And I know you cannot wait, wait to see me too I gotta touch you Chorus: Cause baby, we’ll be at the drive-in in the old man’s Ford behind the bushes till I’m screamin’ for more Down the basement lock the cellar door, and baby talk dirty to me You know I call you I call you on the telephone I’m only hoping that you’re home so I can hear you When you say those words to me and whisper so softly I gotta hear you Chorus ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/105 "2000-02-29T14:42:00Z")
He’s got the whole world in his hands, He’s got the whole wide world in his hands, He’s got the whole world in his hands, He’s got the whole world in his hands… * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/106 "2000-02-29T15:44:00Z")
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there She would merengue and do the cha-cha But while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar Across the crowded floor, he worked from 8 til 4 They were young and they had each other Who could ask for more? At the Copa, Copacabana The hottest spot north of Havana At the Copa, Copacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Copa…they fell in love. His name was Rico. He wore a diamond. He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancing there And when she finished, he called her over, But Rico went a bit to far, Tony sailed across the bar And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two There was blood and a single gun shot But just who shot who? At the Copa, Copacabana The hottest spot north of Havana At the Copa, Copacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Copa…she lost her love. Copa… Copacabana… music and passion… always the fashion… Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show. Now it’s a disco, but not for Lola, Still in the dress she used to wear, Faded feathers in her hair. She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind. She lost her youth and she lost her Tony, Now she’s lost her mind! At the Copa, Copacabana The hottest spot north of Havana At the Copa, Copacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Copa…don’t fall in love. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/107 "2000-02-29T16:50:00Z")
Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! * * * I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/108 "2000-02-29T17:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > “Wildfire”. I submitted this selection to Dave Barry when he asked for nominations for worst song ever and he printed it in his column. That was you, huh? cool! You took apart the song’s inane reference to a ‘killing frost’ too, IIRC. Bless you. My turn: “Oh Mandy, and you came and you gave without taking but I sent you away, oh Mandy…” and: “Teen angel, can you see me, teen angel, can you hear me? Are you somewhere up above, and am I still your own true love?” and who could forget: “I’ve just gotta get a message to you, wo-aye, wo-aye, one more hour and my life will be through, wo-aye, wo-aye.” And a couple more recent entries: “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…” and “One day when my life has passed me by, I’ll sit around and wonder why you were always there for me…” That should inflict enough pain for now. ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/109 "2000-02-29T17:23:00Z")
The “One Night in Spiffled” thread reminded me of this gem… "One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free You’ll find a god in every golden cloister And if you’re lucky then the god’s a she I can feel an angel sliding up to me. One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble Not much between despair and ecstasy One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble Can’t be too careful with your company. I can feel the devil walking next to me." (I would find more glee in infecting you all with this song if it weren’t cycling through my head as well now. Just goes to show that crime doesn’t pay.) ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/110 "2000-03-01T06:35:00Z")
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus o-o-o Amadeus Come and rock me Amadeus! I’m so good, I can poison your minds with cheesy, worthless songs that won’t leave your head \*\* that don’t have any words!\*\* Cue the synthesizers for some “Axel F” _Doo, dee doo-doo dee doo doo Doo dee doo-doo dee doo doo Doo-doo dee doo-doo-doo-doo dee-dooooh_ I’m a cruel bastard. * * * “You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/111 "2000-02-29T20:10:00Z")
I must be the only one here who likes Rock Me Amadeus. I would much prefer to have that in my brain than that damn Mambo #5. Also, I like the stupid Blue song…at least, I like the mindless, repetitive chorus. The parts about the blue dog and every-thing-is-blue I could live without. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/112 "2000-02-29T20:15:00Z")
How about “Jerimiah was a bullfrog. He was good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him to drink his wine” Or “I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so!” Then there’s “Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen” And who could forget “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Domo…Domo!” And of course we have “A little diddy about Jack and Diane, two ‘Merican kids growin’ up in the heartleand” And what about “If there’s something strange in your neighbornood, who ya gonna’ call? GHOISTBUSTERS!” And I alomost forgot “Relax, don’t do it when you want to go to it. Relax, don’t do it when you want to come.” But the best/worst of all time has to be that purple monsters’s “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/113 "2000-02-29T20:20:00Z")
My baby takes the morning train; He works from 9 to 5 and then He takes another home again To find me waiting for him! ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/114 "2000-02-29T20:33:00Z")
Ok - a pox on you all! Truly a mean thing. But here’s my contribution. 😉 \*I get knocked down and I get up again your never gonna keep me down I get knocked down and I get up again your never gonna keep me down ect…ad nauseum * * * I struggle every day to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/115 "2000-02-29T20:42:00Z")
“Do you be-LIEEEEEVVE in life after love? I really don’t think you’re strong enough, NO!” \ “It’s all about the money it’s all about the bum bum budda de bum I don’t think it’s funny to see you fade AWAY!” Whatever that means. I don’t know if that song got any airplay in the US, but Europeans should cringe accordingly. “Just another manic Monday whoa-oh-oh Wish it were Sunday whoa-oh-oh Cause that’s my funday whoa-oh-oh My I don’t have to run day” I actually like that song. But it does get stuck in the head pretty easily. * * * ~Harborina “Don’t Do It.” ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/116 "2000-02-29T20:53:00Z")
Now I know you’ve heard this worn out line about love at first sight but I never knew those words were true 'til you walked in tonight all it took was just one look knocking me off of my feet I’m not a man of many words so I’ll make this short and sweet. - could-ya-would-ya-ain’t-ya-gonna-if-i-ask-ya-would-you-want-ta \*\*Be my baby tonight \*\* take a chance slow dance make a little romance honey it’ll be alright girl you got wishing we were hugging and a kissing and of holding each other tight so could-ya-would-ya-ain’t-ya-gonna-if-I-ask-ya-would-you-want-ta \*\*Be my baby tonight… \*\* \* You have to sing it with a country drawl though… * * * Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/117 "2000-02-29T21:31:00Z")
Salinqmind took my first thought (I always _hated_ that stupid Wildfire song). And I thank you all for completely ruining my lunch break - UGH! So I guess I’ll just have to torture you with some of my own suggestions… Cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon. When you comin’ home Dad? I don’t know when. But we’ll get together then, son. You know we’ll have a good time then. * * * I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name It’s so good to be out of the rai-ain. In the desert you can’t remember your name 'Cuz there ain’t no one for to give you no pain. La laaaaa la la-la la la la, la la la. laaaa la. La laaaaa la la-la la la la, la la la. laaaa la. * * * (and just to torment Grace a little bit…) I found her diary underneath a tree And started reading about me. The words she’d written took me by surprise. You’d never read them in her eyes. They said that she had found the love she’d waited for. Wouldn’t you know it – she wouldn’t show it. And as I go through my life, I will wish for her my wife, all the sweet things I can find. 😃 * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/118 "2000-02-29T22:04:00Z")
I tell ya, Shayna, that post give the lie to your sig line! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/119 "2000-02-29T23:01:00Z")
Boys will be boys bad boys, bad boys Boys will be boys Bad boys, bad boys Bad, bad, bad, bad boys You make me feel so good Bad, bad, bad, bad boys You make me feel so good. (Keep in mind, these people make **millions** for this.) * * * “You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/120 "2000-03-01T01:17:00Z")
eden: No, you’re not the only one who likes “Rock Me Amadeus.” I like it. I also like “One Night In Bangkok.” “You can dance if you want to, You can leave your friends behind, But your friends don’t dance And if they don’t dance Well they ain’t no friends of mine…” Or something like that. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=7)