# Torture your fellow Dopers .... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220 "2000-02-27T17:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/121 "2000-03-01T01:19:00Z")
“If I had a million dollars…” Damn that tune is too catchy… * * * knuckle-dragging hose mongerer. SDMB Self-Righteous Clique ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/122 "2000-03-01T02:32:00Z")
But don’t tell my heart My achy breaky heart … * * * “Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!” ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/123 "2000-03-01T03:26:00Z")
Going from where Ruadh left off… Possibly a verse from that song You can tell my lips Or you can tell my hips That you’re going to dump me if you can But don’t you tell my liver It never would forgive her It might blow up and circumcise this man! I happen to have with me, at this very moment, Dave Barry’s _Book of Bad Songs_. :: evil grin :: * * * I am, I said, To no one there, And no one heard at all, Not even the chair… * * * Turn on your heart light, Let it shine wherever you go, Let it make a happy glow For all the world to see! Oh, and just for JillGat: _Baaaby Beluuuga, oh Baaaaby Beluuuuuuga…_ * * * _SanibelMan_ - [My Homepage](http://members.macconnect.com/~jonkleinow/) “All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.” ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/124 "2000-03-01T03:38:00Z")
Ooh, here’s one I just thought of. I like it, but you guys might hate it. Which is the idea, right? "The leader of the band is tired And his eyes are growin’ old (?) But his blood runs through my instruments And his song is in my soul… My life has been a poor attempt To imitate the man I’m just a living legacy To the leader of the band" * * * _SanibelMan_ - [My Homepage](http://members.macconnect.com/~jonkleinow/) “All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.” ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/125 "2000-03-01T03:39:00Z")
I gave my sister a copy of Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs for Christmas. That particular part had her in hysterics, although that might be in part because we had our own parody version at one point. The only part I can remember now is the chorus. It went a little something like this: Don’t tell my bladder My freaky leaky bladder I just don’t think you understand And if you tell my bladder My freaky leaky bladder I’ll just go and overflow the can! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! However, I’m surprised that no one’s mentioned: Girl, you know it’s true… Oo oo oo, I want you… NOOOOOOOOOOO! Get out of my head! Out out out out out out out!!! I can’t take it anymore! BLAM!!! * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/126 "2000-03-01T03:48:00Z")
Wait, is that the one that goes “Girl, you know it’s true All I have to do Is take a look at you Then I’m not so blue…” (Hmm, it seems I might be edging closer to 500 with this post… hmm…) ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/127 "2000-03-01T03:54:00Z")
Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a womans man No time to talk… * * * If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/128 "2000-03-01T04:19:00Z")
Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon You come and go, you come and go Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams Red gold and green, red gold and green * * * “Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!” ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/129 "2000-03-01T04:20:00Z")
That’s the way Uh-Huh Uh-Huh I like it, Uh-Huh Ih-Huh That’s the way Uh-Huh Uh-Huh I like it Uh-Huh Uh-Huh Or, KC’s other Big One: Do a little dance… Make a little love… Get Down TONIGHT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/130 "2000-03-01T04:33:00Z")
RTFirefly > [@](#): > > I tell ya, Shayna, that post give the lie to your sig line! Tee hee 😉 But wasn’t that the point? Stay tuned, I’ve got more… NickyLarson > [@](#): > > Well you can tell by the way I use my walk > I’m a womans man > > No time to talk… Yeah, but Nicky, I challenge you to give us the next line from that song (without looking it up on-line). LOL. My additional entries… I met her on a Monday and my heart stood still Da Do Ron Ron Ron. Da Do Ron Ron. Somebody told me that her name was Jill Da Do Ron Ron Ron. Da Do Ron Ron. * * * Midnight at the oasis Send your camel to bed Shadows paintin’ our faces Traces of romance in our heads Heaven’s holdin’ a half-moon Shinin’ just for us Let’s slip off to a sand dune, real soon And kick up a little dust Come on, Cactus is our friend He’ll point out the way Come on, till the evenin’ ends Till the evenin’ ends You don’t have to answer There’s no need to speak I’ll be your belly dancer, prancer And you can be my sheik * * * Looooooovin’ you is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful Makin’ love with you is aaaaaaall I waaaaaaana do Lovin’ you is more than just a dream come true Everything that I do is out of looooooovin’ you No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring Stay with me while we grow old And we will live each day in springtime Looooooovin’ you has made my life so beautiful And every day of my — liiiiiiiife is filled with loooooooovin’ you Lovin’ you I see your soul come shining through And every time that we — ooooh I’m more in love with you La la la la la. La la la la la. La la la la la la la la-la. [high piercing shriek]EEEEEEEEeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeee! Is that sufficient torture for you? :evil grin: * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/131 "2000-03-01T04:39:00Z")
Delta Dawn What’s that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose From days gone byyyyyy… * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/132 "2000-03-01T05:51:00Z")
You know, every time I think I’ve thought of a new one, I discover Dirty Devil’s already beat me to it. I **think** this one was missed: I’m not aware of too many things I know what I know if you know what I mean Philosophy is a talk on a cereal box Religion is a smile on a dog I’m not aware of too many things I know what I know if you know what I mean Choke me in the shallow water Before I get too deep What I am is what I am, are you what you are or what? * * * “Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!” ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/133 "2000-03-01T06:30:00Z")
OK, for the rest of you geezers, since the young’uns won’t have reason to cringe: I’m get-ting closer to my wur-ruld… I’m get-ting closer to my wur-ruld… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/134 "2000-03-01T07:08:00Z")
The scary thing is, some of the songs listed I actually _like_ having running through my head. Haven’t thought about Men Without Hats in ages… But to throw some fuel onto this raging fire, howz about: Poor old Johnny Ray Sounded sad upon the radio He moved a million hearts in mono Our mothers cried and sang along and who’d blame them? Now you’re grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever Go toora loora toora loo rye aye And we can sing just like our fathers … Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means) At this moment, you mean everything With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess Verge on dirty … Ah, come on Eileen! * * * JMCJ Give to Radiskull! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/135 "2000-03-01T10:57:00Z")
OK, it’s time to stop being nice and get the heavy artillery out. Brace thyselves. " Rooooooooooooooooxeanne… You don’t have to put on the red light " " We both lie silent and still in the dead of the night Although we both lie close together, We feel miles apart inside Was it something I said or something I did, Did my words not come out right? " (And get ready for this, MoosieGirl 😃 ) " Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (4X) Night to night Gimme the other, gimme the other chance tonight Gimme the other, gimme the other Night to night Gimme the other, gimme the other world Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (4X)" MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA 😉 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/136 "2000-03-01T11:44:00Z")
Cold, I’ll get you for that one…I don’t know when or where, but I’ll get you! 😃 * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/137 "2000-03-01T11:50:00Z")
Sticks and stones baby… the only way to get me back is to get EVEN! But since you neglected to do so: " Well I remember every little thing, As if it happened only yesterday… " AND: " Teeeeeeeeeeeeeell me does she loooooooove you, Like the way I loooooove you… " :: EVIL GRIN 😃 :: * * * **Coldfire** _Voted **Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk** _ * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/138 "2000-03-01T13:32:00Z")
“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, A partridge in a pear tree.” Can it get worse? "If you want my money, And you think I’m sexy Come on sugar let me know. If you really need me, Just reach out and touch me, Come on honey tell me so." Steve Dahl’s response: "Do you think I’m disco Cause I spend so much time Blow-drying out my hair? Do you think I’m disco Cause I know the dance steps? Learned 'em all at Fred Astaire." ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/139 "2000-03-01T13:38:00Z")
You forgot the part, “Do you think I’m disco, am I superficial, come on now and tell me so…” > [@](#): > > I am, I said, > To no one there, > And no one heard at all, > Not even the chair… Barcalounger on line 2, Mr. Diamond… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220/140 "2000-03-01T13:59:00Z")
Cristi, I also love Safety Dance! (Although what the hell does that title mean, anyway?) And Ruadh, how dare you smear Boy George?! Here’s a sample for ‘ya’: "I’ll be your baby I’ll be your score I’ll run the gun for you and so…much…more! I’ll tumble for ya! I’ll tumble for ya! I’ll tumble for ya! I’ll tumble for you!" heh heh Here’s one I really hate: "Have I told you lately that I love you Have I told you There’s no one else Above you You fill my heart with gladness Take away all my sadness Ease my troubles That’s what you do" _BLAM_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/14220.md?page=8)