# Torture your fellow dopers!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 19, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836 "2000-11-19T09:25:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/1 "2000-11-19T09:25:09Z")

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\<Silo takes a “high-pressure water hose” and blasts it at silverfire!\> take that beeatch! 😃

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/2 "2000-11-19T12:20:15Z")

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:screech-owl puts on fuzzy wool slippers and shuffles across the rug:

\<shuffle\>  
\<_shuffle_\>  
\<_Shuffle_\>  
\<_SHuffle_\>  
\<_SHUffle_\>  
\<_SHUFfle_\>  
\<_SHUFFle_\>  
\<_SHUFFLe_\>  
\<_SHUFFLE_\>  
\<_ **SHUFFLE** _\>  
\<_ **SHUFFLE** _\>  
\<_ **SHUFFLE!!!** _\>

\<\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\>

:sneaks \*\*\*\*\*\*\* up behind silo and \*\*\*\*\*\*\* reaches index finger \*\*\*\*\*\*\* towards the \*\*\*\*\*\*\* back of the neck…  
ever…\*\*\*\*\*\*\*  
so…\*\*\*\*\*\*\*  
clo…\*\*\*\*\*\*\*  
ser…\*\*\*\*\*\*\*  
_ **ZOT!!!** _

😃

:runs off cackling gleefully into the safety of a whole 'nuther thread in GQ:

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**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/3 "2000-11-19T13:32:48Z")

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Duke hangs **Silo** from the ceiling so his head’s in a bucket of liquid cow shit, smears toothpaste on his penis and capsicum oil on his testicles (yes, Duke is wearing extra-strength rubber gloves for this procedure) and throws fire ants on the rest of his body!

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/4 "2000-11-19T14:13:01Z")

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:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

:sneaks back into thread:  
:grabs Duke, locks him in a small room with nothing but old “Reader’s Digests” and continuous loop tapes of “Pia Zadora’s Greatest Hits, including ‘MacArthur Park’ and ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’.”  
Bad Duke. Wicked, naughty, evil Duke.

:releases Silo and cleans him up:  
Poor baby. Got capiscum oil in my eye once.  
:shudders at the memory:

:returns to GQ board:

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/5 "2000-11-19T19:11:32Z")

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**Silo** , you want me don’t you? This kindergarten flirting technique that you have isn’t working, though. You can’t pull my pigtails and expect me to want you. I want _men_, not boys.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/6 "2000-11-19T19:12:46Z")

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::kicks **Silo** in the face:: 😃

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**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/7 "2000-11-19T19:14:54Z")

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Torture? click the 😃 in my sig. I dare you.

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**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/8 "2000-11-19T20:26:53Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\ ***Silo** , you want me don’t you? This kindergarten flirting technique that you have isn’t working, though. You can’t pull my pigtails and expect me to want you. I want _men_, not boys. \*\*

Wow Silver… Leave the man some dignity. And why is everyone torturing silo? Oh well.

::Makes Silo watch nothing but “the presidential crisis” 24 hours a day for a week::

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/9 "2000-11-19T20:35:27Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel \*  
> \*\*Wow Silver… Leave the man some dignity. \*\*

Hehehe… 😉

Anyway, **I’m** torturing him because, well, he started it.

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**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/10 "2000-11-19T20:43:47Z")

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_ties up and gags gunslinger, cuts off the end of gunslingers penis, sprays it with anticlotting agent and gets trained rabid monkeys to masturbate him_

_ **DO NOT** _ write “Do not” in front of anything, then draw attention to it. Because some moron is gonna click on it and…

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**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/11 "2000-11-19T21:02:23Z")

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_ **I HATE GUNSLINGER!!!** _

ughhhh!

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/12 "2000-11-19T21:11:30Z")

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I don’t know, I thought that site was pretty fun. I’ve seen quite a few of them though. At least 6 different ones. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/13 "2000-11-19T21:13:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> :sneaks back into thread:  
> :grabs Duke, locks him in a small room with nothing but old “Reader’s Digests” and continuous loop tapes of “Pia Zadora’s Greatest Hits, including ‘MacArthur Park’ and ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’.”

Hey, I would actually enjoy that kind of torture.

Haha, no one can get me!!

_kicks Silo in the shins with a pointy boot_

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/14 "2000-11-19T21:13:53Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel \*  
> > \*\*Wow Silver… Leave the man some dignity. \*\*
> 
> Hehehe… 😉
> 
> Anyway, **I’m** torturing him because, well, he started it. \*\*

[Nope, you started it.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=45209)

> [@](#):
>
> Silo, you want me don’t you? This kindergarten flirting technique that you have isn’t working, though. You can’t pull my pigtails and expect me to want you. I want men, not boys.

But you’ve never had _men or boys_, and you’re from Minnesota, lol, how could I want you, Bwahahahah! 😃

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**Author:** ![Jekeira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jekeira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jekeira)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/15 "2000-11-19T21:14:28Z")

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Clamps Duke’s struggling body to a table and slowly feeds his left hand through a meat-slicer.

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**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/16 "2000-11-19T21:17:14Z")

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Gunslinger, that was nothing. I just kept clicking and clicking and didn’t bat an eyelash.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/17 "2000-11-19T21:20:09Z")

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I mean, really, expecting an intelligent response from **Silo** is like expecting a snow storm in Mexico. It just isn’t going to happen.

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/18 "2000-11-19T21:24:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\*I mean, really, expecting an intelligent response from **Silo** is like expecting a snow storm in Mexico. It just isn’t going to happen. \*\*

Is that the bast you can do?

:Silo throws rotten fruit at slvr:

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/19 "2000-11-19T21:33:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silo \*  
> **Is that the bast you can do?**

No, but it’s still early.

::stabs Silo in the eye with a dinner fork::

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/20 "2000-11-19T21:48:19Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Welfy \*  
> \*\*  
> Hey, I would actually enjoy that kind of torture.
> 
> Haha, no one can get me!!
> 
> _kicks Silo in the shins with a pointy boot_
> 
> \*\*

\<Ties Welfy to a chair, sits down in front of him, and stares, without blinking, constantly\>

Not torture, you say? You can just ignore it, you say?

\<Slowly…ever so slowly…reaches out one finger toward’s Welfy’s face, letting it hover there for a very long time\>

Can still take it? Well…

\<poke\>  
…  
\<poke\>  
…  
\<poke\>  
…  
\<poke\>

Etc…  
Bring it, bizzotch.

\<Trips screech-owl in her slippers\>

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