# Torture your fellow dopers! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836 "2000-11-19T09:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/21 "2000-11-19T22:07:22Z")
:brings out cattle prod (the one with the extension cord, not the one that runs on ‘D’ cells): Trip ME?!?! TRIP ME?!?! C’mere, ya little so-and-so! :ties Jester upside down, dangling from nearest tree branch: :applies fully operational cattle prod to vital and sensitive areas of Jester’ body: How d’ja like that? More? More voltage? Suuuuuurrrre! No problem! Anything for you, dear! [muttering] Make me come back here from GQ. Why I oughta… [/muttering] **ZAP** \ \ [aside to Jester] Oh, by the way, how was 12th Night? [/aside to Jester] ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/22 "2000-11-19T22:09:00Z")
Hah! Got off the table before my hand went into the meat slicer (a la James Bond, if you will) AND it’s my 666th post! Woo-hoo! **Jekeira** , I stick explosives up your ass. When you’re cremated, you’ll blow up and kill your entire grieving family! **screech-owl** , I’m locking you in a room with a constant loop tape of “Al Gore’s Most Exciting Speeches on the Environment” on it! You’ve got nothing to read in there but transcripts of those Cuban Radio Number Broadcasts! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/23 "2000-11-19T22:29:03Z")
[sub]Cool, now I can finally learn Spanish in my sleep! Yeehaw![/sub] [hysterical fit, thrashing and babbling] **Oh, what! Oh nooooo!!! Please please please!!! Not that! Nooooooooooo!!! Anything please gawd anything but thaaaaaaaaaat! Noooo!!! That’s against the outlines set forth in the Geneva Convention!! Noooo!!! Waaaaaaaaa!!!** [/hysterical fit, thrashing and babbling] [sub]uno cinquo…tres…uno…quatro…zzzzz[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/24 "2000-11-19T23:38:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > > \*\* > > Hey, I would actually enjoy that kind of torture. > > > > Haha, no one can get me!! > > > > _kicks Silo in the shins with a pointy boot_ > > > > \*\* > > \ > > \*\* ``` Uh, can someone take Jester aside for a little talk? You know, the one about indoor vs. outdoor plumbing....:D ``` ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/25 "2000-11-19T23:55:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\*Uh, can someone take Jester aside for a little talk? You know, the one about indoor vs. outdoor plumbing…😃 \*\* :hands cattle prod out the window to **lurkernomore** Be my guest. I left him on the tree. [sub]onze…And in conclusion…cinquo…uno…zzzz[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/26 "2000-11-19T23:57:08Z")
Well, I have a comfy chair, and a whole lot of soft cushions. Who wants to get poked? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/27 "2000-11-20T00:04:29Z")
Welfy, I would tie you up and tourture you like a bad little welf. But I know you would enjoy that too mcuh 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/28 "2000-11-20T00:12:59Z")
“Silo ties Silverfire to some train tracks.” :points and laughs: \ [[Slvrfire begs to be freed!]] :Silo agrees…ONLY if she proclaims her undying live for the Vikings: [[Slvr doesn’t answer!]] :Silo pulls out his cell phone: :Calls Amtrak and tells them that the main line has freight train traffic, they must re-route all southbound trains onto the secondary line!: :Silo feels all warm and fuzzy: 😛 [/quote] :Silo throws “pine cones” at Welfy: ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/29 "2000-11-20T00:13:56Z")
Places Barry Manilow CD in SDMB giant audio system. Turns volume to 46. Presses ‘Play’. Runs. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/30 "2000-11-20T00:34:55Z")
Hey, Silo. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/31 "2000-11-20T00:40:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*Hey, Silo. :rolleyes: \*\* :wally ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/32 "2000-11-20T00:44:29Z")
But I’m still your favorite :wally See? You **DO** want me! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/33 "2000-11-20T00:45:32Z")
::Swiddles stands, adjusts her skirt, and clears her throat:: NEAAAAR FAAAAAR WHEREEEEEEVER YOU ARE… yea, my job here is done. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/34 "2000-11-20T00:54:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*But I’m still your favorite :wally See? \*\* Oooh! I didn’t mean to get you all hot and bothered! ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/35 "2000-11-20T00:55:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\*::Swiddles stands, adjusts her skirt, and clears her throat:: > > NEAAAAR > FAAAAAR > WHEREEEEEEVER YOU ARE… > > yea, my job here is done. \*\* :Silo gives Swiddles a Titanic can of whoopass!: ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/36 "2000-11-20T01:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > \*\*Oooh! I didn’t mean to get you all hot and bothered! \*\* The day you get me all hot and bothered is the day I get a sex change and start requesting that people call me “Martin”. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/37 "2000-11-20T01:02:10Z")
:breaks out of locked room through wall: :chases **Swiddles** in an attempt to silence “The Unholy Song That Must Not Be Named”: :stops: :curls into fetal position: You horrid, horrid non-human misbegotten whelp of a mutant sea-cow!! (Nothing personal, mind you.) :bangs out the word “UNCLE” repeatedly on the keyboard in a futile attempt to cleanse her brain of “TUSTMNBN”: UNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLE!!! :whimpering: [sub]make it stop. please oh gawd make it stop. merciful fountain of love make it stop[/sub] You win. Leave my quivering carcass anywhere far from “That Song” [sub]Did I mention I really despise “TUSTMNBN”?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/38 "2000-11-20T01:08:41Z")
_grins maniacally_ And locks screech-owl in a theater and forces him to watch movies that feature Joe Don Baker and Doctor Laura in nude sex scenes! ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/39 "2000-11-20T01:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > > \*\*Oooh! I didn’t mean to get you all hot and bothered! \*\* > > The day you get me all hot and bothered is the day I get a sex change and start requesting that people call me “Martin”. \*\* Um, then you best be gettin’ that sex change. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/40 "2000-11-20T01:17:00Z")
Silo: :rolleyes: I cannot stress that enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836.md?page=3)