# Torture your fellow dopers!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 19, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836 "2000-11-19T09:25:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/41 "2000-11-20T01:29:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \*  
> **_grins maniacally_ And locks screech-owl in a theater and forces him to watch movies that feature Joe Don Baker and Doctor Laura in nude sex scenes!**

:regains consciousness in theatre:

[groggy]  
Wha…happened…oh…my aching head. And back. And…  
**???**

[fully awake, screaming]  
\*\*SHADES OF “A CLOCKWORK ORANGE”!!! WHEN DID I BECOME A MAN!?!?!

If I catch Guinastasia, I’ll…\*\*

:touches self:

Damn. My kidneys are gone, too.  
This day is not going well.

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/42 "2000-11-20T01:34:43Z")

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::Silo drops an “anvil” on Silverfire::

\<smack!!!\> 😃

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/43 "2000-11-20T01:45:31Z")

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Ooops…sorry, I missexed you!  
_We now return to your regularly scheduled…TorTCHA!_

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/44 "2000-11-20T02:00:45Z")

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::waves at **Silo** ::

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/45 "2000-11-20T02:10:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\*::waves at **Silo** :: \*\*

I’m not gonna let you get away that easily.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/46 "2000-11-20T02:19:29Z")

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And how do you plan on making me stay?

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**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/47 "2000-11-20T02:46:26Z")

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::walk into room, tie Silo to a chair, force him to watch tae bo tapes and reruns of Springer::

::send a note to the Witnesses, Scientologists, Mormans and anyone else I can think of with the rest of the participants of this threads address’(except Welfy, dang it anyway)::

There, my work here is done… hehehehe

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/48 "2000-11-20T03:14:32Z")

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\<Gets out of tree, a bit shocked, but alright\>

I think that pun was torture enough.

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/49 "2000-11-20T03:17:08Z")

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But, now that I think about it, I’ve devised one too good to forget about it.

\<Grabs Silo and Silver Fire, restrains them so that they are incapable of moving, facing each other\>

\<Wires electrodes to both of them\>

Now, you two, you’re gonna sit here, and you’re not gonna be able to move, except your mouths. And every 5 seconds, you **have** to say something **nice** about each other, otherwise you get a new lesson in the flow of electricity.

Yes, you have to be NICE to each other! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I’m so evil.

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**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/50 "2000-11-20T03:17:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by screech-owl \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \*  
> > \*\*Uh, can someone take Jester aside for a little talk? You know, the one about indoor vs. outdoor plumbing…😃 \*\*
> 
> :hands cattle prod out the window to **lurkernomore**  
> Be my guest. I left him on the tree.
> 
> [sub]onze…And in conclusion…cinquo…uno…zzzz[/sub] \*\*

:: frees Welfy ::

```
Welfy,
      Would you like to point out to Jester what you have he doesn't, and what he has that you don't?

```

:: hands her prod, and squirt bottle of salt water to aid conductivity ::

Hey, I wonder if you squirted 151 on him, would it light…

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/51 "2000-11-20T03:25:32Z")

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Alright, I’m SORRY already. And now, since you just COULDN’T let my mistake go, you’re gonna get a DIFFERENT kind of lesson in plumbing.

\<picks up length of pipe\>

Here, luker-luker-lukerrrrrrrr…

\<Shoves pipe unceramoniously up luker’s ass…sideways\>

\<twists\>

There, that oughta do it.

\<Walks past Welfy\>

\<tips hat\>

Evening, maam.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/52 "2000-11-20T03:28:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jester \*  
> **\<Grabs Silo and Silver Fire, restrains them so that they are incapable of moving, facing each other\>**

I hate you.

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/53 "2000-11-20T03:47:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Jester \*  
> > **\<Grabs Silo and Silver Fire, restrains them so that they are incapable of moving, facing each other\>**
> 
> I hate you. \*\*

Oh, c’mon, it’s not THAT bad. I mean, jeez, all you have to do is engage in nice…conversation…with…Si…S…Sil…\<snicker\>

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I can’t even say it with a straight face. God, I’m good.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/54 "2000-11-20T03:59:29Z")

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No, really. I hate you. Sadly, I’m leaving this thread so your little plan won’t work.

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/55 "2000-11-20T04:42:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*  
> \*\*I’m leaving this thread so your little plan won’t work. \*\*

That’s what you said last time. 😃  
:Wind blowing through hair, Silo picks up a flower off the ground:

She loves me; 🙂  
she loves me not; ☹  
She loves me; 🙂  
she loves me not; ☹  
She loves me; 🙂  
she loves me not; ☹  
She loves me! :eek:

😕

:o

🆒

😃

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/56 "2000-11-20T15:46:03Z")

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Um, ok, now that I’m done with Silverfire (?), I’m moving on to Coldfire!

:Silo pushes Coldy off a waterfall:

:Take that you…\<pause\>…you MODERATOR!:

😃

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/57 "2000-11-20T16:37:58Z")

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Silver Fire hates me? :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(☹

I’ll be over in the corner sulking if anybody needs me.

☹

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/58 "2000-11-20T17:00:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jester \*  
> \*\*Silver Fire hates me? :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(☹
> 
> I’ll be over in the corner sulking if anybody needs me.
> 
> ☹ \*\*

I don’t think she REALLY hates you, but she sure hates me because when she has her picture put up on the “SD People Pages” her _name_ will be _NEXT_ to mine. (hehe)  
::Silo sits in corner, Tapping fingers, awaiting response from Coldie…::

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**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/59 "2000-11-21T02:16:01Z")

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Hehe, I’m glad _that_ finally got cleared up! :^D

_nonetheless, lets a piano fall on Jester_

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**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/torture-your-fellow-dopers/41836/60 "2000-11-21T02:18:16Z")

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By the way, I HATE it when people put their finger in between my eyes, just letting it hover there. I’m quite third-eye sensitive.

_goes insane_

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