# Totall ruin a show ... by being reasonable **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 5, 2017, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488 "2017-03-05T18:32:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/41 "2017-03-07T04:33:25Z")
“Why are you firing me?” “Because despite your great ability with customers, you are a multi-million dollar liability to Dunder-Mifflin. One recording of your antics that got in front of a jury and the company would be in receivership. And, Michael – we have a non-compete clause which we will enforce if you soilicit any of our customers. Now, please send in Mr. Schrute on your way out; we need to speak to him as well.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/42 "2017-03-07T05:35:32Z")
“Hi, I’m Andy Travis.” “Arthur Carlson, Andy. Nice to meet you. This is my mother.” “Mrs. Carlson. A pleasure.” “If we hire you, Andy, what do you plan to do?” “Change the format. Easy listening doesn’t cut it in Cincinnati.” “You may be on to something. Our ratings have been suffering. Welcome to the team, Andy!” _A few moments later…_ “Johnny, we’re changing the format right now. Now, we’re a Top 40 station. Here are some disco records.” “Disco! Great, thanks! I’ll get them on once this record of the Sacred Tabernacle Choir ends.” ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/43 "2017-03-07T07:01:17Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Well, first of all, the IRS is gonna investigate and his family is gonna get nada. > > But in any case, the family of drug dealers are often at danger. So, yeah, instead of leaving his family the usual modest Life insurance, he’d rather they get taken, tortured raped and their heads left on this doorstep. Great way to protect your family. :rolleyes: Walter White didn’t really do it to protect his family. This is a common misconception about the character. He did it because he wanted to. Walter White was always Heisenberg. The cancer wasn’t the cause it was the excuse. [(Spoilers)The only time Walter White was 100% truthful about his reasons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaqxAEx46Zk) ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/44 "2017-03-07T07:30:12Z")
"Commander McGarrett, you and your 5-0 team can’t run around violating people’s constitutional rights and killing them willy nilly. You are as much criminals as they are. I’m afraid I’ll have to place all of you under arrest. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/45 "2017-03-07T09:48:55Z")
Harry: “They don’t have wifi at Hogwarts? Fuck it, I’m not going” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/46 "2017-03-07T10:22:20Z")
(Borderline, but…) “Fire torpedoes, maximum yield, full spread.” “Aye, sir.” [_be_-beep] [pause] [low whistle] “Well, that _is_ what happens when you annihilate [4.5 kilograms of antimatter.](http://www.edwardmuller.com/index.php?Page=calculator) And traveling at .5 _C_, at that.” ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/47 "2017-03-07T10:40:04Z")
“I suppose I could just get another dog.” ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/48 "2017-03-07T11:09:31Z")
Captian to Starfleet engineers: “Hey fuckers! How about this time you design a holodeck with a manual kill switch? And while you’re at it, throw in a manual release for the holodeck doors. And for the love of god, don’t tie in the holodeck with ANY of the ship’s systems!” ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/49 "2017-03-07T11:17:14Z")
“Instead of fighting crime by punching bad guys in the street, I’m going to take part in city politics. If our police officers were suitably trained and the mental hospital was suitably funded and staffed, I bet that would fix a lot of problems.” ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/50 "2017-03-07T11:17:32Z")
This would apply to practically any TV crime show: \ Detective answers: Jones here. Voice on phone: Help! The mass murderer has me trapped in a warehouse on the other side of town. He’s going to kill me! Come quick! Detective: There’s a police station a couple of blocks from there. I’ll call and have them send someone right away! ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/51 "2017-03-07T11:42:36Z")
The reason the policebox is bigger in inside than outside is really simple … LSD. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/52 "2017-03-07T13:01:18Z")
“Oh no! It’s Captain Leech!” “Give me the map, Gulliver.” “OK, here.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/53 "2017-03-07T14:36:24Z")
Mr. Wayne, we’ve conducted a full scale tax audit of Wayne Enterprises’s finances, and there’s loads of discrepancies and billions of missing dollars. The Board of Directors is shutting you down, and we will be reporting you to the IRS and various federal agencies overseeing corporations. And to Child Protective Services about your relationship with your ward. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/54 "2017-03-07T15:07:24Z")
“Lois, what are you doing?” “Oh Hi ‘Clark’, I was scrolling through my Facebook albums and funny enough it keeps showing all my Superman pics as you.” 'Dammit" “Worst disguise ever.” ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/55 "2017-03-07T15:24:37Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > Harry: “They don’t have wifi at Hogwarts? Fuck it, I’m not going” Technically, the HP series happens in the mid-to-late-90s/early 2000s where wifi was either nonexistent or not prevalent at all. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/56 "2017-03-07T15:24:47Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > Harry: “They don’t have wifi at Hogwarts? Fuck it, I’m not going” Did they have Wifi at your school in the 90s? Edit: Ninjamos maximos ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/57 "2017-03-07T18:49:30Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > Mission: Impossible (classic) > > The people who make the briefing tape for Phelps/Briggs simply use their flawless and detailed intelligence (seriously, the tape often relates things only the bad guy could know) to produce evidence for law enforcement to stop/arrest/assassinate the bad guy as required. The IMF team never gets involved. My handwave for that is, imagine you’re a true-blue commie who keeps tabs on the Premier’s possibly-disloyal right-hand man – covertly relaying the Deputy Premier’s activities to said Premier. And it looks like the Deputy Premier _is_ sincerely doing his part for the cause, but, hey, that’s not your call; you’re as loyal as he _seems,_ and so you just keep making detailed reports to the Premier. Now, if that Deputy Premier goes off the rails – setting up a secret bank account and embezzling funds into it, or suffering a nervous breakdown upon hallucinating visions of his dead son, or whatever – well, look, you just keep reporting to the grateful Premier, is all; you just keep telling the Premier what’s what for _years_. But if flawlessly well-informed Americans show up and overtly wreck that guy’s operations? Well, maybe _that’s_ when you start wondering if you’ve only ever been reporting to an impressionist wearing a peel-off facemask of the Premier. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/58 "2017-03-07T18:59:14Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > But if flawlessly well-informed Americans show up and overtly wreck that guy’s operations? Well, maybe _that’s_ when you start wondering if you’ve only ever been reporting to an impressionist wearing a peel-off facemask of the Premier. Having just finished binging the entire classic series run, your handwave is ruined by the fact that IMF _always_ stands around at the end and rub the bad guys’ noses in their defeat (unless they bad guys are all dead, which was a pretty common outcome in the early/middle years). What was interesting, watching them back to back was: (a) how often they re-used guest star bad guy actors. Some of the “hoods,” and even a few high-level bad guys were in multiple episodes per season – in one case, literally back-to-back episodes. They also all live in the same four or five mansions, have identically configured offices, basements, and hotel rooms, and drive the same trucks/cars – especially in the last few seasons. (b) How often the peel-off facemasks actually failed them. There were at least five or six episodes where the mask either came loose at an inopportune time (usually during a fight) or the person they were faking wasn’t as out-of-the-way as intended and confusion about who was the doppleganger causes problems. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/59 "2017-03-07T19:04:29Z")
Perry Mason: “And so, it is obvious who the real murderer was”, and looks around at the gallery, where in the back row, the culprit quietly slinks out of the courtroom, instead of standing up and emoting "Yes, but I had to do it, I tell you . . . " ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488/60 "2017-03-07T19:09:20Z")
Any cop show: Drag the suspect in, begin questioning. Here’s where the culprit confesses, no? Instead he lawyers up, refuses to say anything other than “I want to speak to my attorney” . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totall-ruin-a-show-by-being-reasonable/781488.md?page=4)