# Totally deleting a musical instrument **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496 "2012-03-01T23:10:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/41 "2012-03-02T08:22:51Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Accordion Oh hell yes. Die accordion, die! ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/42 "2012-03-02T09:15:47Z")
People hate _They Might Be Giants_ that much? ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/43 "2012-03-02T12:09:12Z")
Seconding the oboe. Nothing against it, it’s just the one instrument that wouldn’t affect the history of music that much if it just popped out of existence. And about the theremin… let’s be completely frank, you can get the same sound by just humming. In fact I’ve always suspected that the thing is just a big con and the “instrumentalists” are doing exactly that while moving their hands over a worthless piece of metal. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/44 "2012-03-02T12:15:16Z")
If I can’t pick autotune then definitely the vuvuzela. I’d probably also accept the stylophone on the basis that it’s a stupid instrument that contributes nothing worthwhile to the musical canon, Rolf Harris and TMBG notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![BACI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@BACI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BACI)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/45 "2012-03-02T12:26:23Z")
Another vote for the soprano sax. An instrument of torture, never, ever played well enough to warrant its existence. The oboe can at least sound mellow, the sop never so. And I so advise. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/46 "2012-03-02T14:45:19Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Seconding the oboe. Nothing against it, it’s just the one instrument that wouldn’t affect the history of music that much if it just popped out of existence. > > And about the theremin… let’s be completely frank, you can get the same sound by just humming. In fact I’ve always suspected that the thing is just a big con and the “instrumentalists” are doing exactly that while moving their hands over a worthless piece of metal. Eh, I’d keep the oboe for Swan Lake and Mozart’s Oboe Concerto in C alone. As for thermin, I could live without it, but it sounds nothing like humming. It sounds more like a bowed string instrument or even [an operatic singer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5VX3KEt8-E&feature=related). ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/47 "2012-03-02T14:52:24Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > Bassoon. Oh Jebus, please take back the Bassoon. 😃 > [@Jenaroph](#): > > Theremins are awesome. Of course, I might be just saying that because I have one built from a kit. But a properly played theremin rivals a violin for ethereal beauty of sound. > > Oboes, however, can disappear. What’s the old line, “the ill woodwind no one blows good”? Wow, lay off the double reeds, people! What is it about bassoon and oboe that you don’t like? They’re a couple of my favorite instruments to listen to. Guess I should pick one to banish as well…hmmmmm. Going with the alto saxophone. Thanks to INXS, I swear 3/4 of my band classes started out as alto saxes. Lower saxes are cool with me though. Oh, and the [vibraslap.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibraslap) Piss on that annoying POS. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/48 "2012-03-02T14:54:09Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Saxophone can stay. But the soprano variety, that’s got to go. Because Kenny G, that’s why. +1 ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/49 "2012-03-02T14:54:51Z")
The Pan Flute. “if you act right now, we’ll send you the complete recordings of Gheorghe Zamfir, and as an extra bonus - a pocket fisherman. Just pay additional shipping and handling. If you don’t act right now, we know who you are and will send you two copies of the above.” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/50 "2012-03-02T15:04:06Z")
Good Og - what’s with the double-reed hate? Oboe and bassoon both produce gorgeous sounds. A sad, slow oboe line can be transcendent. For me, getting rid of an instrument is more like a ‘gun against your head and you _have_ to get rid of one.’ I’d only do it if forced. And then I’d pick electric jug. Yes, I’m serious. The [13th Floor Elevators employed an electric jug](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/13th_Floor_Elevators). If I had to, I could delete it from all timespace. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/51 "2012-03-02T15:08:50Z")
The [hurdy gurdy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurdy_gurdy) isn’t much used any more, which is A Good Thing. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/52 "2012-03-02T15:09:06Z")
What the hell is that keyboard thingy that plays like a guitar? Real big in the 70s. That one. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/53 "2012-03-02T15:18:22Z")
Steel drums. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/54 "2012-03-02T15:19:12Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > What the hell is that keyboard thingy that plays like a guitar? Real big in the 70s. > > That one. [Keytar](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keytar) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/55 "2012-03-02T15:35:06Z")
The synthesizer. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/56 "2012-03-02T15:51:49Z")
Not necessarily instruments, but samples and tones, like the synth-drum bell-ring sound used on that old disco tune [Ring My Bell by Anita Ward](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPYese-Hl8M). Or the infamous “Orchestral Hit” sample that everyone used in the 80’s, but the most annoying example I recall was Paul Young’s [I’m Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psYvtaNAQiY) (starts in the chorus, about 1:05 in - after that, you can’t miss 'em). I think that sample was huge in 80’s because Go West used it well in [We Close Our Eyes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl3PYk_s4Kk)…but that was pretty much the extent of its lifespan. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/57 "2012-03-02T16:13:12Z")
The Recorder. I hated learning it in Sunday School, I hated learning it in regular school, and the sound causes my ears to bleed. (PS: “The Brown Note.” hahaha.) Does anybody else picture Milhouse every time a “theremin” is mentioned? ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/58 "2012-03-02T17:57:25Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Agreed. D’Oh! Sorry foolsguinea, but the Vuvuzela has to go. If the Vuvuzela actually is a musical instrument, (I’d be inclined to think of it more as weapon of mass destruction) it must go. Alternate pick: bagpipes. A weapon of war that drives people into a frenzy of violence. 2nd alternate pick: piccolo. Another weapon of war Even though drums are also weapons, I love drumming. Drums just don’t go into that high-pitched range that is so very painful to me. PS. I’d also be happy if violins were altered so they wouldn’t reach such high squealy notes. Same with glass armonica. Love tenor sax and low-pitched woodwinds. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/59 "2012-03-02T18:12:21Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Does autotune count as an instrument? This. If it doesn’t count, then I’m going with the Human Beatbox. If that STILL doesn’t count, lessee, I guess I wouldn’t miss the sackbut. NOT trombones. Those stay. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/60 "2012-03-02T18:22:04Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Well, I don’t like violins. […] > > Also odd, I generally like fiddles. 😕 The violin and the fiddle are the same instrument. Or are you making a point about different musical styles? > [@Czarcasm](#): > > The synthesizer. Me too. I don’t know that I actually want it destroyed, I just don’t think I’d miss it if it were. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496.md?page=4)