# Totally deleting a musical instrument **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496 "2012-03-01T23:10:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/101 "2012-03-03T21:16:26Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, I was waiting for that one to come out, so I could post some [Bela Fleck and the Flecktones](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0Q4CBDFaEc) Is that a song or an episode of **Stupid Bass Tricks**? _::ducks the flames::_ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/102 "2012-03-03T21:41:28Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > [Watch this kazoo virtuoso](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CTU8mDmN34), and ask yourself if you’re willing to eliminate such sexiness from the world. Um… yes, I am. And I wasn’t before. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/103 "2012-03-03T22:14:16Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > [Watch this kazoo virtuoso](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CTU8mDmN34), and ask yourself if you’re willing to eliminate such sexiness from the world. Fuck yes. With prejudice. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/104 "2012-03-03T23:20:07Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Well, _you_ sat there and listened to it. So a scar-inducing self-inflicted wound is sufficient reason to ban something? If I had driven myself, I would have left. I didn’t like he harmonica to begin with though. It’s just not a pleasant instrument to me. ---
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/105 "2012-03-04T04:02:20Z")
**Fie on all you accordian haters!! Fie, I say! 'tis a fine fine instrument.** And where would Jimmy Buffet and _Margaritaville_ be without recorders? A couple of musical aberrations we could do without: The melodica - difficult to play and shrill unpleasant sound. Combining a piano keyboard with a blowhole just seems wrong. And they run me out of breath. The Acoustic bass guitar: These things don’t produce enough sound to be heard 10 feet away. Even with amplification they sound muzzy and indistinct. Anything an ABG can do, a mandobass, bajo sexto or upright bass can do ten times better. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/106 "2012-03-04T06:06:31Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > There’s nothing weird about a dislike of the French horn. To re-state the case I made for double reeds: Whatseriously? How can you dislike the French Horn?? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/107 "2012-03-04T06:36:22Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Is that a song or an episode of **Stupid Bass Tricks**? _::ducks the flames::_ Don’t you make me come over there, boy! Victor Wooten is not only a fine bass player, but a true ambassador of his craft and exemplary human being. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/108 "2012-03-04T07:11:09Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Don’t you make me come over there, boy! Victor Wooten is not only a fine bass player, but a true ambassador of his craft and exemplary human being. I hear you girl but that solo went on for a half hour too long and the part where he twirls the bass around his body is completely ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/109 "2012-03-04T07:25:19Z")
> [@SeldomSeen](#): > > And where would Jimmy Buffet and _Margaritaville_ be without recorders? Where would the intro to “Stairway to Heaven” be without recorders? I’ve played it, on recorder, for a friend who performed it live in pubs. (I prefer to play my flute, but he insisted I play a recorder for the song.) ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/110 "2012-03-04T07:52:36Z")
The Calliopasaxaviatrumparimbaclaribasotrombaphone has definitely gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/111 "2012-03-04T09:01:45Z")
I’m stunned nobody has said the vibes. Play them fast or slow, hard or soft, you still get the same mushy sound with little dynamics. They fail utterly both as a melodic and a percussive instrument. Plus they can be replaced easily by a number of instruments–electric piano, celeste, marimba. Even when you hear a master vibist like Lionel Hampton or Milt Jackson, you always think “this guy would sound way cooler with a lot more sonic options on the piano.” ---
**Author:** ![RadicalPi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/radicalpi/32/9806_2.png) [@RadicalPi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadicalPi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/112 "2012-03-04T09:43:31Z")
The guitar. Just to see what would happen. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/113 "2012-03-04T10:31:46Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > [Watch this kazoo virtuoso](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CTU8mDmN34), and ask yourself if you’re willing to eliminate such sexiness from the world. That was truly amazing. ---
**Author:** ![BACI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@BACI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BACI)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/114 "2012-03-04T10:40:44Z")
I’d like to add to my previous contribution (soprano sax) and nominate the harpsichord. There is nothing on earth that will have me reaching for the mute button faster than a solo harpsichord recital. Soprano sax is usually inflicted on an audience in the company of a band or orchestra - other instruments go some way to masking the hideousness of that instrument. Solo harpsichord is without mercy and an unalloyed misery. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/115 "2012-03-04T11:09:00Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > And the mailing tuba. And the lasso d’amore, do we keep that or what? ---
**Author:** ![Anduril](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Anduril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduril)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/116 "2012-03-04T13:20:54Z")
Bagpipes. They’re god-awful. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/117 "2012-03-04T15:36:06Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > I hear you girl but that solo went on for a half hour too long and the part where he twirls the bass around his body is completely ridiculous. Girl? :dubious: Anyhow, yes it’s silly and over the top. It’s supposed to be. It’s called being theatrical and having fun. I kinda enjoyed the Bach quote in the solo. The studio solo for that song is a normal length. Let the guy show off a little–the crowd loved it. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/118 "2012-03-04T17:35:11Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > I hear you girl but that solo went on for a half hour too long and the part where he twirls the bass around his body is completely ridiculous. It’s called showmanship. If it weren’t for the visuals, there’d be no point to live performance. Try twirling a bass on radio sometime. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/119 "2012-03-04T18:19:01Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > If it weren’t for the visuals, there’d be no point to live performance. I guess all of the orchestras of the world better practice instrument twirling because, according to you, just playing their instruments is pointless. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496/120 "2012-03-04T18:34:51Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Anyhow, yes it’s silly and over the top. It’s supposed to be. It’s called being theatrical and having fun. Let’s agree to disagree. What you call theatrical and having fun, I call self-indulgent and in poor taste. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/totally-deleting-a-musical-instrument/614496.md?page=7)