# Tough chicks: Have you become a giant crybaby with age? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 6, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844 "2010-09-06T22:08:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/41 "2010-09-09T15:28:28Z")
I’ve always been a crier. Never tremendously bad, but if I had a huge work confrontation or something I would have to take a few minutes to myself in the bathroom and have a good cry. I never cried at happy things until about a year ago though. Recently the happy things are triggering my need to cry, the biggest of which was right before my wedding. The week before my wedding my soon-to-be husband said he had a surprise for me. He had been taking voice lessons and wanted to sing to me but he hadn’t made as much progress as he would have liked so he didn’t want to perform in front of a group at our reception like he had originally planned. Instead he turned up some music and right there in our apartment he took my hand and sang The Way You Look Tonight. I bawled through the whole thing and I’m tearing up right now just remembering it. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/42 "2010-09-21T05:46:55Z")
Blech. I just found myself bawling like a baby at 7th Heaven. It’s a sick dog episode though. A dog needs to be euthanized. And it’s a sweet gentle dog. Not an asshole dog. I think it’s also a few days before my monthly, so that could explain it. Still, I’ve been menstruating for over a decade and I don’t think this kind of thing used to make me cry. Dammit! _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/43 "2010-09-21T07:51:39Z")
Totally agree with the OP. I have always been a tough bird and it really pisses me off that I seem to have handed my emotional control over to the hormone police. Case in point. Only this morning, I awoke in tears having a dream about a kitten being run over. Really. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/44 "2010-09-22T04:58:41Z")
It happened in two stages for me - 1. I used to never get weepy if there were kids involved. I was all “gee, that’s sad”, and it was - but not world-endingly, three hanky sad. Then I had a kid. Now I can’t read Cujo. I’m a mess. Something wonderful happens to some random stranger kid? I’m a weepy weeping thing. Something awful happen to some random stranger kid? Same weepy thing. It sucks. 1. I never used to really get weepy in general. I’m 41. About 5, 6 years ago, the week before my period got…intense. It’s only gotten worse. I now cry in that week if I _think_ something might be going to be possibly a little bit sad. I have a sad song playlist, which I jut go ahead and listen to to get that shit out of my system. It’s fucking HORRIBLE, I hate it. Plus, I get all hypersensitive and want to cry for things people didn’t even say or do, but that I think they might think or say or want to do. Gahh! I cried at my first wedding about two years ago. Honestly, this is shit. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/45 "2010-09-22T14:22:48Z")
Elaine: Jerry, you break up with a girl every week. Jerry: (Crying) What–what is this salty discharge? Elaine: Oh my God. You’re crying. Jerry: This is horrible! I care! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/46 "2010-09-22T16:55:35Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Anyways, I’ve only found as I’ve gotten older that there are times where crying makes you feel better. The reason I always avoided crying when I was younger was just that it made me feel worse. Do any of you women who used to not cry feel this way? I never cried as a child. Even my mom says so. My brother would rant and cry, but I’d just go silent she says. I hated crying as a teenager and young adult because it gave me a headache and didn’t make me feel any better. I still hate crying, but now in my middle age I find my self unable to stop. It’s usually a few weeks after the triggering trauma, so I’m still repressed, I’m just not as good at repressing it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/47 "2010-09-22T21:38:11Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Jerry: (Crying) What–what is this salty discharge? Excellent! That really does sound like me sometimes. “Is it… dusty in here? I do not understand. There is water in my eyes, and my vision is getting cloudy. Am I going blind?” I don’t cry when something sad happens. It seems like I’m usually moved to tears when I’m touched by the goodness in people. For now. In another 10 years, I’ll be boo-hooing during chick flicks at this rate. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844/48 "2010-09-22T22:34:50Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > > > I’m not a tough chick when it comes to crying (everything ELSE, well, it goes without saying I could kick anyone’s ass here! :D). My problem is that crying, for me, is not linked specifically to sadness or negative emotions. Crying is linked to _any_ strong emotion. I will cry (or tear up) when I feel really happy, really sad, pissed off, frustrated, overjoyed, vicarious joy (like what you mentioned in the OP), etc. > > > > I’m an extremely empathetic person\* so I tear up quite often, comparatively. And it really pisses me off when non-criers think that any public tears are for manipulation. Sorry, but no. I’m less likely to cry in public because it’s friggin’ embarrassing and if I’m doing it, it means I literally am incapable of stopping. > > > > I think, **MoL** , that with life experience comes more empathy and that’s why you’re crying more. > > > > - Too empathetic, honestly. But it’s not something I know how to change, or if I want to. “I’m trying to stop emotionally identifying with other sentient creatures” doesn’t sound that great, y’know? > > I could have written this whole post word for word, except maybe that first parenthetical. 🙂 > > I didn’t use to cry this much, either, but as I get older, crying is like laughing to me – it’s simply an instinctive response to an emotional stimulus. I can’t control it, and I certainly don’t do it on purpose to manipulate people or to get attention or sympathy. That accusation makes me so angry (anger also makes me cry :smack:). It has nothing to do with you, and I cry this much or more when I’m alone – in public I find it mortifying and do my best to hide my response or even leave the situation if I can. > > I can’t even watch the news without crying. Either I’m crying because someone’s been murdered or I’m crying because someone did something kind for someone else. (I should note that crying here means tearing up, not full-on sobbing.) Good lord, me too. Any strong emotion, even humor, can cause me to cry. I’ve always been a bit that way, in spite of being a tough bitch in other ways, but it’s getting worse, and has been for about 15 or so years. I seem to feel emotions more, and when it reaches a certain point, I cry. I HATE this. It’s inconsistent with my personal view of myself as being nice but strong. I really don’t watch movies or read fiction much anymore, because I seem to actually _feel_ the characters’ emotions or whatever. Why the HELL is this? I’m assuming hormones, but cripes, when am I going to get back to being the real me? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-chicks-have-you-become-a-giant-crybaby-with-age/552844.md?page=2)