# Tough-Guy One-Liners **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752 "2002-05-25T03:23:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tetsusaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@tetsusaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tetsusaru)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/1 "2002-05-25T03:23:57Z")
OK, you`re a stalwart action hero. Your black partner has been killed three days before retirement, and your estranged wife has been abducted, forcing you to admit that you loved her all along. It`s time to single-handedly storm the sneering drug-lord`s lair inside a hollowed out volcano, and wreak bloody revenge. Now follows an arming scene worthy of the Iliad: your shirt is doffed, and a bulging bandolier, festooned like a Christmas tree with grenades, adorns your manly torso. A clip is slammed grimly into your large machine-gun, and an enormous knife slides into your boot sheath with a "thunk". Buckles are buckled. Straps are strapped. Payback looms ominously like an ominous looming thing. But wait. Haven`t you forgotten something? No hero worth his salt can set forth without an armamentarium of witty quips, pithy one-liners, and other assorted bons mots. Esprit d`escalier just won`t cut it here, no `Gosh, I wish I`d told Caesar "You`re history."` from Brutus. What follows will hopefully prove a fount of inspiration for the aspiring bad-ass. 007 {Sean Connery} in Goldfinger: tips would-be assassin into a bathtub, throws an electric heater in after him, and deadpans “Shocking.” This probably started the whole trend. Dutch Schaefer {Arnie} in Predator, upon discovering their invisible alien tormentor has left a trail of glowing green blood: “If it bleeds…we can kill it.” Positively Nietzschean {OK, you try and spell it} in its grim pithiness. Dirty Harry Callaghan {Clint Eastwood} in Sudden Impact: “Go ahead. Make my day.” Uttely catchy, but utterly chilling in its implications. This man enjoys his work. Ash {Bruce Campbell} in Army of Darkness, upon being goaded by his evil doppelganger for being a “Goody goody two-shoes”, sticks his shotgun up his evil double`s nostrils and snarls "I ain`t that good." before pulling the trigger. Worth the money just to see Campbell`s expression as he delivers the line. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/2 "2002-05-25T03:31:12Z")
I always liked what Sam Spade said to the prosecuting attorney in The Maltese Falcon: “Dead gamblers don’t have friends.” Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca played the best tough guy with a heart of gold, especially when he let the young Bulgarian guy win at roulette in order to preserve his wife’s honor: No really great lines here, but a great scene. Waitaminute. Bogie asks Emile the croupier how well the house is doing and Emile replies: “A couple of thousand less well than I expected.” A classic scene from the best movie of all time. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/3 "2002-05-25T04:13:26Z")
John McClane says it best: “Yippee-ki-yay, mutherfucker!” ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/4 "2002-05-25T07:05:27Z")
Dutch Schaeffer…Predator: “You’re one _ugly_ motherfucker.” “I ain’t got time to bleed.” “Kiss my beautiful black ass!” Pam Grier(?) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/5 "2002-05-25T07:19:17Z")
Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) in Big Trouble In Little China: “Sonnuva bitch must pay!” Also Jack Burton: “Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case on wheels, or the ten foot tall roadblock?” Ash (Bruce Campbell) in Army of Darkness: “All right you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!” Mr. White (Harvey Keitel) in Reservoir Dogs: “You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.” Mr. Shhh (Steve Buscemi) in Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead: “A choice. You could tell me where Earl Denton is. Or you could tell it to the worms.” Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis) in The Whole Nine Yards: “It doesn’t matter how many people I’ve killed. What matters is how I got along with them when they were alive.” Ramón Rojo (Gian Maria Volonté) in Fistful of Dollars: “When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with the pistol is a dead man. That’s an old Mexican proverb. And it’s true.” Tuco (i.e., “the ugly”) (Eli Wallach) in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.” Professor Henry Jones (Sean Connery) in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: “It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.” Roy Scheider in 52 Pick-Up: “Something about your face makes me want to slap the shit out of it.” see other great quotes at [http://tnmc.homestead.com/twentyquotes.html](http://tnmc.homestead.com/twentyquotes.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/6 "2002-05-25T07:26:08Z")
Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) in Big Trouble In Little China: “Sonnuva bitch must pay!” Also Jack Burton: “Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case on wheels, or the ten foot tall roadblock?” Ash (Bruce Campbell) in Army of Darkness: “All right you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!” Mr. White (Harvey Keitel) in Reservoir Dogs: “You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.” Mr. Shhh (Steve Buscemi) in Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead: “A choice. You could tell me where Earl Denton is. Or you could tell it to the worms.” Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis) in The Whole Nine Yards: “It doesn’t matter how many people I’ve killed. What matters is how I got along with them when they were alive.” Ramón Rojo (Gian Maria Volonté) in Fistful of Dollars: “When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with the pistol is a dead man. That’s an old Mexican proverb. And it’s true.” Tuco (i.e., “the ugly”) (Eli Wallach) in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.” Professor Henry Jones (Sean Connery) in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: “It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.” Roy Scheider in 52 Pick-Up: “Something about your face makes me want to slap the shit out of it.” see other great quotes at [http://tnmc.homestead.com/twentyquotes.html](http://tnmc.homestead.com/twentyquotes.html) ---
**Author:** ![tetsusaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@tetsusaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tetsusaru)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/7 "2002-05-25T09:35:50Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Enola Straight \* \*\*Dutch Schaeffer…Predator: “You’re one _ugly_ motherfucker.” “I ain’t got time to bleed.” Hate to nitpick, but it was actually Jesse Ventura who said “Ain`t got time to bleed!” Still a great line, though. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/8 "2002-05-25T10:17:06Z")
GREEDO: “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” HAN SOLO: “Yes, I bet you have.” _BANG!_ (Just ONE bang, too… Han shot first, goddammit!) “At last we meet for the first time, for the last time.” - Lonestar, _Spaceballs_ “Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?” - Jack Napier, _Batman_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/9 "2002-05-25T13:36:27Z")
Lee Marvin??? “Lady, I ain’t got the time.” _Shoots woman as she’s trying to explain things at movie’s end._ This is an older show, can anyone help identify it? It really bugs me that I can’t remember… :o ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/10 "2002-05-25T13:39:12Z")
Who can forget the classic, “I’ll be back.” by Arnie in the Terminator movie. ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/11 "2002-05-25T14:01:39Z")
Arnie in Commando: “Remember when I told you I’d kill you last…I lied.” “Dis is my weak ahm.” ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/12 "2002-05-25T14:08:11Z")
From _Repo Man_ Even though Emilio Estevez is not a tough-guy I love these lines: His love interest / repo wife: ``` *"But what about our relationship...?"* .... EE: *"What!?"* sharper: *"WHAT ABOUT our relationship???"* EE: *"Fuck **that!**"* .... Walks away. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/13 "2002-05-25T15:45:35Z")
Okay, this is slightly off, but in the book “I, the Jury” by Mickey Spillane, at the very end, he shoots the woman he loves, because she killed his friend. As she’s dying she say’s “How could you?” He says “It was easy.” And the book ends. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/14 "2002-05-25T16:08:11Z")
“I’m getting too old for this shit” -many movies. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/15 "2002-05-25T18:31:36Z")
“You ever stood in the rain with your guts punched out.” ---
**Author:** ![dead0man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@dead0man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dead0man)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/16 "2002-05-25T21:21:35Z")
Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) in _Dogma_ after he throws Bartleby (Ben Affleck) off the back of the train. Said to some passengers on the train, “No ticket”. dead0man ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/17 "2002-05-25T21:33:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dead0man \* > \*\*Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) in _Dogma_ after he throws Bartleby (Ben Affleck) off the back of the train. Said to some passengers on the train, > “No ticket”. > dead0man \*\* Which is a direct ripoff of an Indiana Jones line from Indy Jones & The Last Crusade, when Indy throws a Nazi officer out the window of a blimp. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/18 "2002-05-25T22:19:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WSLer \* > \*\* > > Which is a direct ripoff of an Indiana Jones line from Indy Jones & The Last Crusade, when Indy throws a Nazi officer out the window of a blimp. \*\* More of a tribute, doncha think? Guess it depends on how much you like Mr. Smith. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/19 "2002-05-25T22:36:30Z")
Samuel L. Jackson: “… And they will know my name is the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon them.” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752/20 "2002-05-25T23:03:39Z")
C’mon, didn’t anyone see “They Live”? Rowdy Roddy Piper, Howitzer in hand, looks at the room full of alien yuppies, and says: _I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum… and I’m all out of bubble gum._ Man, I love that movie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tough-guy-one-liners/110752.md?page=2)