# Tourist unaware of the first rule of Australia **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2019, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644 "2019-01-29T23:59:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2019, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/1 "2019-01-29T23:59:12Z")
And that is, of course, if it is a plant or animal in Australia, it is trying to kill you. [This includes the blue-ring octopus](https://gizmodo.com/tourist-in-australia-goes-viral-holding-beautiful-octop-1832151140). ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/2 "2019-01-30T00:02:36Z")
Didn’t realize how small those things are. Thought a blue ringed octopus would be around the size of a human adult arm or something, not something snail-sized. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/3 "2019-01-30T00:27:55Z")
- HMM… Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. "DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, " he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C, he added. OH. PART THREE, I SEE. He glanced up at the listening shelves. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT? They waited. IT WOULD APPEAR THAT- “No, wait master. Here it comes.” Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air. Finally Death reached up an caught the single sheet of paper. He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side. “May I?” said Albert. Death handed him the paper. “'Some of the sheep, '” Albert read aloud. “Oh, well. Maybe a week at the seaside’d be better, then.” WHAT AN INTRIGUING PLACE, said Death. SADDLE UP THE HORSE, ALBERT. I FEEL SURE I’M GOING TO BE NEEDED.\* ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/4 "2019-01-30T01:04:08Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > And that is, of course, if it is a plant or animal in Australia, it is trying to kill you. This may be true, but for the most part they’re not killing you to eat you. Leave the fuckin’ things alone and you’ll both be so much the happier. > [@Velocity](#): > > Didn’t realize how small those things are. Thought a blue ringed octopus would be around the size of a human adult arm or something, not something snail-sized. In comparison to the real nasty/stingy/lethal fellas they are: [Irukandji jellyfish](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irukandji_jellyfish) As Irukandji are small enough to get picked up and blown about in sea spray these nasty bastards can sting and require hospitalisation for treatment even if you are only near the water. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/5 "2019-01-30T01:48:49Z")
My first thought when I clicked the thread title was, “Everything in Australia can kill you.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/6 "2019-01-30T02:17:06Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > My first thought when I clicked the thread title was, “Everything in Australia can kill you.” 😃 It is the only continent with venomous rocks. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/7 "2019-01-30T02:40:09Z")
I’ve been to Oz a couple of times and never saw a venomous creature in the wild. I feel cheated! ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/8 "2019-01-30T02:44:33Z")
On the plus side, you’re a lot less likely to get your head ripped off and eaten by a bear here ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/9 "2019-01-30T03:49:32Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > On the plus side, you’re a lot less likely to get your head ripped off and eaten by a bear here So what are you saying? The bears just wait for everything else to kill you, then have a leisurely lunch?:eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/10 "2019-01-30T03:52:57Z")
**Aspidistra** is alluding to a rare arboreal bear and really shouldn’t have done that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/11 "2019-01-30T03:58:05Z")
Drop bears are deadly, mate! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/12 "2019-01-30T04:36:06Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > On the plus side, you’re a lot less likely to get your head ripped off and eaten by a bear here Because a bear wouldn’t last an hour out in the wilds of Australia before something killed it. Probably a local butterfly. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/13 "2019-01-30T04:43:30Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > It is the only continent with venomous rocks. They need to protect themselves from [the trees](https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/topics/science-environment/2009/06/gympie-gympie-once-stung-never-forgotten/)! ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/14 "2019-01-30T05:25:58Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Drop bears are deadly, mate! So many tourists think drop bears are like koalas, and then don’t know what hit them. Tragic. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/15 "2019-01-30T05:49:09Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > **Aspidistra** is alluding to a rare arboreal bear and really shouldn’t have done that. > 😉 The phrasing “less” likely was carefully chosen, yes 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/16 "2019-01-30T06:24:11Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > And that is, of course, if it is a plant or animal in Australia, it is trying to kill you. [This includes the blue-ring octopus](https://gizmodo.com/tourist-in-australia-goes-viral-holding-beautiful-octop-1832151140). That video has been around for a while. I suspect there’s more to it. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/17 "2019-01-30T19:16:52Z")
If anyone needs a background song while reading this thread, may I suggest [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy_TB6onHVE) one? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/18 "2019-01-30T19:22:53Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > So many tourists think drop bears are like koalas, and then don’t know what hit them. Tragic. [Giant Flesh-Eating Koala of Legend Was Real](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/phenomena/2016/03/09/australias-real-drop-bear/) ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/19 "2019-01-30T19:28:31Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > It is the only continent with venomous rocks. Please explain ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644/20 "2019-01-30T19:31:04Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > Please explain [Humour](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d58dd6d2-7938-49ac-99d5-47f5eb4de482) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tourist-unaware-of-the-first-rule-of-australia/828644.md?page=2)