# Toxic/Narcissist Family Member

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toxic-narcissist-family-member/734522>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 13, 2015, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toxic-narcissist-family-member/734522 "2015-10-13T05:00:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toxic-narcissist-family-member/734522/21 "2015-10-15T16:49:16Z")

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> [@Derleth](#):
>
> Unless and until they acknowledge a mental health problem on their end and actively start working to fix it, they’ll lock you in a cycle of abuse, misery, and torment because that’s the definition of what they’ve been diagnosed with.

In my limited experience, the mental health diagnosis gave the person free license to justify all her horrible behavior and not have to apologize or feel bad about it.

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**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2015, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toxic-narcissist-family-member/734522/22 "2015-10-16T00:10:19Z")

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> [@JustJenny](#):
>
> The most recent conversation we had was her saying “Well, you’ve always wanted to have a kind and loving relationship with me - bond and everything - and now here is your chance! You get to take care of me.”

Sorry you are going through this. The above statement sums up everything you need to know - she says needs a caretaker and she knows you want a relationship. She will offer the relationship in order to get the caretaker.

You will get nothing.

**xizor** is correct; her knowledge that she has a diagnosis is generally a free pass for narcissists - they do what they want without a hint of guilt or self perception. They will crush anyone for the slightest amusement.

For your own safety you should say goodbye and walk away, nothing good will come from this. The lie of a potential relationship is just the last event in a game of torturing you, the last chance to crush you. You know better; don’t do it.

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