# "Trading the Noisy Gay Bar Scene for the Knitting Circle" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2019, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207 "2019-06-08T11:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/1 "2019-06-08T11:59:47Z")
Article in the NYTimes today. Yeah, it’s New York, but the idea really caught my attention. The subhead: _“Many gay men in New York are looking for alternative ways to socialize. A look at the surprising revival of the knitting circle.”_ > [@](#): > > The conversation had just turned to night life in the city when Louis Boria, an administrative assistant at Mount Sinai Hospital, groaned. He sat in the back of the yarn shop, String Thing Studio, in Park Slope, Brooklyn, knitting the beginnings of a yoke sweater. > > “There’s no more clubs,” said Mr. Boria, who is the organizer of a weekly guys’ knitting night, which welcomes men and teenagers no matter how they identify (as well as crocheters). > > “So now we’re left with the bar scene and all those people are packed into the bar.” > … > > And finally, toward the end of the night, Joe Major, a photographer, slipped in. > > Mr. Major was having a rough week and wanted to be around people. Going out for drinks is too expensive and he’s sick of everyone glued to their phones, he said, so he decided to come to the guys’ knit night instead. > … > > Fed up with awkward small talk and impersonal interactions at bars, some gay men in New York are looking for alternative ways to connect. You couldn’t call it a knitting explosion, exactly, but in small pockets — at yarn shops, apartments and gay bars throughout the city — a new kind of knitting circle is emerging. > > “I don’t feel like being in a bar or a club is conducive to getting to know people,” said Michael Richman… I love this idea! No, I’m not a gay man, obviously, but probably like most of these guys, I live by myself. I don’t go to bars, but my main way of socializing with people is meeting them for lunch. I like the idea of regularly getting together with people where spending money and consuming calories isn’t the primary thing. A few years ago, I tried out some Meet-Up groups, and one of them was a knitting group. There was a woman there, older than I, who was recently widowed after a long marriage. She attended several Meet-Up knitting groups every week. That was her way of getting out of the house and interacting with people without having to spend money or do work of some kind or eventually having to reciprocate. Different churches I know of have Prayer Shawl groups where (probably mostly) women get together and knit shawls as gifts. Anyhoo, this type of group is as old as the hills, and I love that these guys have revived it! Bravo! (I didn’t last in the knitting group as I am a CRAP knitter, but I think I could learn with coaching.) I started a monthly ladies’ lunch group 26 years ago (seven people, and the oldest is turning 80 today!), and I’ve belonged to a book club for almost 19 years, and I know there are plenty of small groups that meet for various purposes. This article struck me because it’s men, young-ish men, gay men, and well, _knitting_. I don’t expect this kind of thing to be a huge wave that will sweep the nation and put smartphones out of business (I know I love mine), but I do feel like a reversal is coming-- a gradual movement back to face-to-face interaction and the pleasure of being in other people’s company to talk at length and just be intentionally \*with \*other people. Our [del]human[/del] \*animal \*need for social interaction isn’t deeply satisfied by sharing text messages and photographs. Unless they’re cute cat/puppy pictures, of course. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/2 "2019-06-08T14:29:42Z")
There have always been alternatives to gay bars and clubs. Back when we lived in NYC, we went to a weekly group of gay men called “Gentle Men.” It was led by a gay psychologist, and involved intimate talk and really interesting psych-related games. The regulars in the group quickly became good friends, and it didn’t take long for newcomers to become regulars. There were also retreats, like a weekend in the Catskills. Sadly, the group no longer exists. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/3 "2019-06-08T14:40:43Z")
This sounds wonderful! I sometimes text my friends that I’m sitting in a particular coffeeshop/bar/cafe, and drawing. They’ll stop by with their sketchpads and we’ll chat (sometimes without eye contact because dammit, we’re drawing!) I’ve thought of codifying it into an official event… maybe when I have more time. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/4 "2019-06-08T18:36:45Z")
For some reason I found “…which welcomes men and teenagers no matter how they identify (as well as crocheters)”, to be very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/5 "2019-06-08T19:02:09Z")
I recently found some notes my Mom left regarding her obituary, and my brother and I got some giggles at her describing herself as a “enthusiastic sewer” who enjoyed hooking with her friends. She liked to sew and belonged to a group of women that sat around and hooked rugs. They always enjoyed that “hooker” double entendre but the sewer thing was totally unintentional. . ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/6 "2019-06-08T19:23:32Z")
There have always been alternatives to the gay bar and club scene in major cities. I can speak from at least around the 1990s. I can think of plenty here in Chicago from gay sports teams, book clubs, religion, and gay professional meet ups. So many of my favorite gay bars have been overrun with straight women that there’s only a few I still go to since they ban bachelorette parties and tend to be a bit further away from the gay epicenter of Roscoe and Halsted. And, of course, apps and websites have made it easy to meet guys without having to go to a bar. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2019, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/7 "2019-06-09T05:48:01Z")
I mean, this is great. I belong to a handful of knitting circles, teach a class, etc. But, uh, do you have any idea how expensive yarn is?? This is not a free/cheap hobby. That was sort of a weird thing in this article. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2019, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/8 "2019-06-09T06:49:07Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I mean, this is great. I belong to a handful of knitting circles, teach a class, etc. > > But, uh, do you have any idea how expensive yarn is?? This is not a free/cheap hobby. That was sort of a weird thing in this article. Depends on whether you’re knitting for comfort wear or knitting for something to do with your hands and brain. Red Heart still makes the scratchy acrylic stuff, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2019, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/9 "2019-06-09T06:59:36Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I mean, this is great. I belong to a handful of knitting circles, teach a class, etc. > > But, uh, do you have any idea how expensive yarn is?? This is not a free/cheap hobby. That was sort of a weird thing in this article. It’ cheap relatively speaking. For the price of one cocktail you can buy a bundle of yarn. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2019, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trading-the-noisy-gay-bar-scene-for-the-knitting-circle/835207/10 "2019-06-09T12:47:53Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > It’ cheap relatively speaking. For the price of one cocktail you can buy a bundle of yarn. This. And people are not likely to consume one cocktail over the course of an evening. For the time it takes you to knit your way through that one skein of expensive yarn, especially if you’re a slow-ish beginning knitter, you could have put away big $$$ in booze. It would be interesting to attempt to calculate that… Not to mention the calories and long-term damage to your liver.