# Traditional White Wedding Dress For Second Marraige? Since When? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037 "2005-03-05T04:41:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/21 "2005-03-05T12:54:19Z")
I don’t see why it’s anyone’s choice but her own (and the person footing the bill). This is her special day. If she wants to don a beautiful white gown and feel like a princess, so be it. Whatever makes her happy on what is supposed to be a happy day. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/22 "2005-03-05T13:23:45Z")
Miss Manners: White wedding dresses need no longer be accompanied by intact hymens. Miss Manners said it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/23 "2005-03-05T13:54:43Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > Laws on wedding dresses vary widely from state to state. Some people have suggested moving the whole matter up to the federal level and standardizing the wedding apparel code but legislation is being held up in committee. So your friend is probably safe but she should consult a lawyer and/or fashion designer who’s familiar with her jurisdiction. I thought all of this was covered in the “Defense of Marriage Act.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/24 "2005-03-05T14:38:52Z")
It’s high time we stopped telling people they should feel ashamed for having gotten married before. Who gives a crap if she wants to wear a big ol’ white gown? It looks great, so I say bully for her. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/25 "2005-03-05T14:39:49Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It’s high time we stopped telling people they should feel ashamed for having gotten married before. Who gives a crap if she wants to wear a big ol’ white gown? It looks great, so I say bully for her. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/26 "2005-03-05T14:43:10Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > I personally think it’s tacky in the situation you’ve described, but let’s face it. The bride is tacky. I don’t have a problem with divorced people having weddings: everyone deserves a second chance and all. But if that divorce came because of _adultery_ (as opposed to other reasons), I think it’s pretty ballsy of someone to don a white dress and waltz down a church aisle as if she were a 20 year old virgin. And where do you folks live that there are 20-year-old virgins? I mean, besides people who live in their parents’ basements and never miss a Star Trek convention. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/27 "2005-03-05T16:41:19Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > And where do you folks live that there are 20-year-old virgins? I mean, besides people who live in their parents’ basements and never miss a Star Trek convention. There are rumors floating around that not everybody starts screwing the second they hit puberty. I don’t know many women that were virgins on their wedding day, but I do know some. And some of them were well over 20. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/28 "2005-03-05T17:02:08Z")
It sounds like she’s done some rather unsavory things in her life, but getting married a second time won’t necessarily be one of them. I see weddings rather like birthday parties. Some people love to celebrate their birthdays with huge parties. Some people would rather not even get a card. It’s all a matter of preference. Now, would I give and keep giving wedding gifts to a serial bride? No. But that’s because I’m cheap, not because the weddings are anything to be ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/29 "2005-03-05T17:10:02Z")
> [@pendgwen](#): > > I thought that a white wedding dress was originally supposed to symbolize the purity (virginity) of the bride and the reason you weren’t supposed to wear white for a second wedding is at that point you can’t even pretend you’re a virgin. Actually, no. Wedding veils are symbols of virginity. White wedding dresses became popular sometime around the Victorian era, and only because some famous princess wore one. Everyone copied the fashion, and made up reasons like “white = virgin” later. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/30 "2005-03-05T17:12:06Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Yes, but who were the idiots who married her the last three times? That’s another thread entirely. > [@](#): > > I guess it depends on the individuals and whether they go over the top. Bingo, though some (grannies who think you have to be a virgin to wear white) are still gonna snark. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/31 "2005-03-05T17:19:02Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > My mom has a friend who–I kid you not–has had a big Barbie Dream Wedding with a poofy white dress for every single one of her **five** marriages. > > The woman isn’t even 40 yet. Your mom needs to introduce her friend to the concept of “dating.” As in, you don’t have to marry every man you meet. As for the OP, I wouldn’t bother with the big wedding and big dress for any hypothetical second marriages, but that’s mostly because I just couldn’t be bothered. I agree with you about the gifts, though - I would not give the same level of gifts to second and further marriages, because theoretically, the first marriage should have been the good gift marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/32 "2005-03-05T17:23:33Z")
I’ve seen a lot of second wedding in the past ten years or so where the bride wore white. I’ll admit I haven’t seen any I can think of where the bride wore a twenty five yard train and 18th century panniers; I think that’s a bit over the top (and not something most more mature, older women are really into anyway). I have no problem with white, though. Of course, all the second wedding I’ve been to have been extremely classy affairs, often involving very touching moments with the existing children. You mileage, I suspect, will vary. 😉 I pity you intensely; I cannot _stand_ the type of female who has to brag to everything in a skirt about her dress and her flowers and her invitations and crap. I mean, it’s one thing if you’d asked her and were genuinely interested, it’s quite another if you’re an innocent bystander when the rice starts to fly. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/33 "2005-03-05T17:40:17Z")
[OT] For those of you who enjoy reading the wedding-related horror stories on [Etiquette Hell](http://www.etiquettehell.com/), Miss Jeane has just updated the website with 470 new stories. I know what I’m doing today! [/OT] ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/34 "2005-03-05T18:02:00Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > [OT] For those of you who enjoy reading the wedding-related horror stories on [Etiquette Hell](http://www.etiquettehell.com/), Miss Jeane has just updated the website with 470 new stories. I know what I’m doing today! [/OT] I hate you, Susie. I have two papers due next week. I’m going to blame my bad grades on you, for pointing this out. This, after I managed to convince myself to wait to buy Sims 2: University until after the papers were done! :sigh: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/35 "2005-03-05T18:50:50Z")
Sorry about your papers, **Q. N.**! I, on the other hand, am at work. No procrastinating going on here! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/36 "2005-03-05T19:12:26Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > And where do you folks live that there are 20-year-old virgins? I mean, besides people who live in their parents’ basements and never miss a Star Trek convention. Excuse me? Could you be any more condescending and rude? :dubious: Thanks a lot. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/37 "2005-03-05T21:05:55Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > Actually, no. > > Wedding veils are symbols of virginity. White wedding dresses became popular sometime around the Victorian era, and only because some famous princess wore one. Everyone copied the fashion, and made up reasons like “white = virgin” later. Still no. [Wedding veils](http://weddings.pirate-king.com/wedwear.htm) have been used far longer than wedding gowns, generally to protect the bride from evil spirits or to protect the groom from seeing what a hideous wife he had gotten along with her lands and cattle until he’d made his vows! The “famous princess” you’re speaking of may have been Queen Victoria, who wasn’t married in white, but in silver. But she only pushed the popularity of the costume, she didn’t create the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/38 "2005-03-05T21:35:41Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Still no. [Wedding veils](http://weddings.pirate-king.com/wedwear.htm) have been used far longer than wedding gowns, generally to protect the bride from evil spirits or to protect the groom from seeing what a hideous wife he had gotten along with her lands and cattle until he’d made his vows! > > The “famous princess” you’re speaking of may have been Queen Victoria, who wasn’t married in white, but in silver. But she only pushed the popularity of the costume, she didn’t create the idea. I guess what I should’ve said was that wedding veils were the traditional symbol of virginity. Granted, that’s not how they started out. Then, sometime in this century, we sort of forgot about the veils and started focusing on the color of the dress. No, it wasn’t Victoria I’m thinking of. I’ll see if I can find the cite. And, of course, it wasn’t an absolutely novel idea to get married in white. Surely it had happened many times before that. But the absolute idea that “wedding dress = white” did happen quite recently. Like I said, I’ll find the cite. I know I didn’t read it online, but in a book. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/39 "2005-03-05T21:59:28Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > And where do you folks live that there are 20-year-old virgins? I mean, besides people who live in their parents’ basements and never miss a Star Trek convention. I dare you to tell that to my dear childhood friend, who is a lovely and quite social woman who happens to be very devoutly religious. She and her husband dated for, oh, 6 years or so before they got married in their mid-20s, and remaining a virgin until she was married was very important to her. It does not, however, make her some sort of antisocial freak. It does make her the child of two parents who never should have gotten married, and probably wouldn’t have if her mother hadn’t gotten pregnant. People have all sorts of reasons for not screwing everything in sight, and who are you to judge that without even knowing them? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037/40 "2005-03-05T22:02:38Z")
Queen Victoria was indeed married in white. And yes, she made it popular, but even up to the 1930s, most women simply wore their best dresses. When I worked at the museum, we had a section dedicated to wedding dresses-one was black, from a German bride, where apparently black was the traditional color for many brides! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traditional-white-wedding-dress-for-second-marraige-since-when/293037.md?page=3)