No. This just isn’t the kind of thing I would do; I find this sort of thing a little creepy. Of course, it’s also not the kind of thing my family would do, so I may not have to deal with it.
My son’s middle name is Blair. My middle name is Blair. My father’s middle name is Blair. My grandfather’s middle name was Blair. My great-grandfather’s middle name was Blair. My great-great-grandfather’s middle name was Blair. His mother’s maiden name was Blair.
You can probably guess which side I favor on this topic … .
I think if it’s that important to your husband you should go along with it. If he’s wanted it since he was a child, saying “no” will only plant a seed of resentment. However, he should make a major concession to you as well. Maybe you get to pick whatever first name you want. Maybe you get exclusive naming rights for any girls.
(My wife and I didn’t have a lot of argument over this because we’re both very much in favor of family names. My son’s first name comes from my wife’s grandfather. My daughter’s first name comes from my grandmother. We like the sense of connection.)
In my family, the male has generally had the father’s or the grandfather’s name as his middle name. My brother has my father’s name as his middle name, my father has his grandfather’s name. This names are standard “Williams”, “Peters”, “Samuels”, etc. This generally seems to be the case with my paternal ancestors. As a daughter, I got a middle name my parents liked as well as a second (unofficial) middle name, which is my mother’s grandmother’s maiden name. My mother and her sister’s middle names have either been names my grandparents liked, or names or relatives or close friends.
My husband’s immediate family don’t have middle names, consequently if we have a son, my husband doesn’t want his son to have a middle name, since we have a fairly unusual surname and middle names shouldn’t be needed.
I am so incredibly curious as to what it is!!
I also think it’s completely wrong that your mother passed on a name she herselved loathed because “it’s tradition”. I hated it and, by golly, my kid will hate it too! People need to grow backbones, I think, when it comes to ending traditions that no one even enjoys or cares about. Why continue to do something that no one feels good about, just because it’s the way it’s always been done?
In my family, certain names crop up in every generation: “Paul”, “Andrew”, “Daniel”, “Joseph”. My first American ancestor was “Andreas”, which is the German form of “Andrew”.
We never use “Timothy”. Not anymore. :mad:
I know three guys that have weird “family” middle names, in each case a distant female relatives family name. All three ended the tradition with their son. However the names were far weirder than Edward, the one I remember was, I think Finnane.
This is what I came in to suggest. Alternatively, you could do as someone up the thread suggested and negotiate for total control over any girl’s middle names instead.
I kinda like traditions. This one isn’t too bad, so yeah, I suppose I would.
Not trying to be a jerk, but llet’s back of & think about what really happend.
ABout 75 years ago a guy had 8 sons & middle-named them all Edward. This Edward business had never been done before in his family tree.
Of the 8 Edwards, only one had a son & middle-named him Edward too.
So now it’s mandatory for the next 10,000 years that all male children, grandhildren, etc of this curent middle-Edward must be Edward??
Said in that way, this sounds too stupid to even consider for a second.
How was Granddad, a guy of apparently limited imagination, suddenly granted this power over forever into the future?
What of the tradition of the thousand generations before Granddad: the tradition that males get different names, ones that evolved with the times, from Ugg back in 10,000BCE to Ebenezar in 1650CE to Edward in 1920?
I cannot imiagine giving this even a moment’s consideration. Picking Edward for Edward’s sake, sure; it’s a perfectly fine name. But because Grandpdad ordered that it be so forever and ever amen? Not bloody likely.
My kids each have three middle names, the choice and order of which is evidently part of a naming tradition here in south holland. I thought Dearly Beloved was just really clever to come up with four names each for our children until I worked out that he only came up with the first names; the three middle names are dealt out amoungst various relatives (oh, yes, and god, mustn’t leave him out – our eldest child’s third middle name is Maria).
Maria is also a common middle name for the eldest child, boy or girl, in my mother’s family so it all worked out. Since the multitudinous middle names of the Dutch are shared on an alternating basis between paternal and maternal relatives, everybody’s family has been amply represented.
First names, however, are expected to be unique to the child.
Since I gather the Dutch held out on last names until Napoleon made them use them, I expect the middle naming conventions served the purpose of identifying everybody.
I couldn’t agree more that a family tradition of one generation hardly counts. Though I rather like the tradition of a former roommate of mine, who was chinese; all the members of each generation had the same “middle” name (name order being different) and lining up the middle names of each 4 generations made a sort of poem or proverb I gather. The head of family each 4 generations got to come up with a new poem. Or so it was explained to me. It might have been a fable, but it was an unusually nice one I thought.
I’m a junior, so I have the same name as my father. I’d never do this to anyone. Middle names? Who cares? But never use the same name for two people.
It is simply too confusing.
My paternal grandfather was Rob, my dad is Bob (different middle name), I’m the oldest son, my middle name is Robert. I figure an oldest son would probably get Robert as a middle name. In the end, if it means enough to Mr. OP, I guess Mrs. OP should decide if it’s something to cause disharmony about. It’s just up to you.
Askia, I’ve nothing against “Leone” for a future son’s name, but I hope you’re also a big fan of 1960’s “spaghetti” westerns, 'cause that’s what many people are bound to assume.
Hmmph. “The Man With No Name,” indeed! 
In my family the son in the firstborn line gets the same first name and the middle name is the maternal grandfather’s name. Works fine.
My great-grandmother passed on her surname as a middle name for (so far) three generations - my grandfather and all his siblings, my grandpa’s two boys, and all of their kids.
I hated it. I hated having a last name as a middle name, I wanted a “real” middle name. And I hated having the same middle name as a dozen other folks. When I got married, I ditched it in favor of keeping my old surname as a middle (which, yes, does mean I STILL have a last name as a middle, go figure)
Even if I wasn’t a girl, rendering the issue moot, I wouldn’t pass it on any further. I don’t mind “eldest kid” naming traditions so much (my husband’s family had one, but it only works if the eldest is a boy, which she weren’t) but there’s something about the lack of individulity in “global” ones that I find a little creepy
Unless you have a specific middle in mind that you like a lot, I think it wouldn’t hurt to just let him have his way. It seems like it would mean a lot to him and what does it hurt to make your husband happy? I hope it’s not that upsetting that he gets to exercise his right to give a middle name you don’t.
It’s only a middle name and Edward is pretty unoffensive so I say just go for it.
In my family the tradition is that a name begins with the first letter of a dead ancestor you want to honor. My father’s father died when my father was young, so all the eldest cousins on his side have the same first initial. We never use the same name - but my Hebrew name is his. Neither my brother nor I have middle names. I named my first daughter with the letter of my other grandfather, and my second after my mother, who died just before she was born. I have been told this is an Ashkenazi tradition, but I don’t know if that’s true.
My wife has an odd first name, which skips generations - becoming a middle name in the alternating generation. So my first daughter has my wife’s name as her middle name, and my second has my wife’s maiden name, which is not a tradition, but was fine with me.
I agree wholeheartedly. My given middle name was “Jo.” There was no better reason than “all the little girls in Texas at the time were getting the middle name Jo.” We lived in Texas for about one year, it’s not like we were diehard Texans. I replaced “Jo,” which is so not me, with my maiden name when I got married. My first name was also a nom du jour. OTHOH, thinking back on it, there weren’t too many good choices from the ancestors, either.
Hey, I hadn’t thought of THAT. What an added bonus. My kid gets a kickass theme song. ( Doo doo dooOOo wah wah waaAAah)
We fairly recently got hold of a copy of our family tree. On my Dad’s side we had an Easter and a Griffin/Griffon (can’t remember the spelling). Maybe I should have pressed harder to have a “traditional family name”!
On a serious note, I do understand the OP. So this two generation tradition only extends to boys, and bugger the girls? It would chap me, too. If however you were willing to give the name or a feminine version to ANY first born, then I’d be happy to go along with it.