# Traffic fucktards and housepets who love them. Next on Sally Jessy Funky **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2006, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793 "2006-07-24T07:32:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/41 "2006-07-25T14:52:23Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > And what would be your solution if there is no other alternative? Because of road works my way home has been squished from it’s normal 2 lanes to 1 lane. Yesterday some impatient wanker started tooting because he had the light to go straight ahead but I was turning right and couldn’t turn because of oncoming traffic. I’m supposed to harikari myself because he is used to having 2 lanes? There is NO alternative turn! Easy, make a left turn then go up a block or two and make a U-turn, then proceed to go straight through on the next green light, ergo, right turn. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to keep the flow of traffic convenient for everyone. > [@](#): > > It is impatient idiots like you and the mad tooter who cause accidents. Take a fucking chill pill. It is better to arrive a minute late then never arrive because your impatient arse is wrapped around the front of someone elses car. I didn’t even beep. The ass-strapped rocket idea was wholly a thought - no actions were taken. And it wouldn’t be a minute or two difference for me. If I have to wait through two cycles of the light, that’s more like 5 minutes. I actually avoid that intersection now by cutting over a couple of blocks and then cutting back over on the other side of the intersection. There is always about 30-50 cars lined up to go through and the odds that someone will make a left turn is high. I am surprised that I am usually the only person to circumnavigate the mess. Most others will just sit and wait for the asshats to clear the intersection. The thing is, here, the intersection and the left turn are avoidable, yet everyone just sits there and waits… > [@](#): > > Sometimes the right move is the polite one and I don’t give a shit if the rude wanker behind me is irritated, my aim is to get home not to die because I may hold up some dipshit for a minute. First off, common sense dictates that you must be polite and do the right thing when driving, I do. Common sense also dictates that you won’t get killed by taking a slightly more ‘less obstructive’ route, one that causes as little traffic problems as necessary. Now, if you have absolutely no other choice but to make that obstructive left (right) turn then those in charge of that construction should be aware of this and should have allowed provisions. That or put up a ‘No Right Turn’ sign. Life really is simpler then some let on to believe. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/42 "2006-07-25T14:58:33Z")
I just want to say that you picked a great username. By the way, you owe me a new vase. Mine fell off the table and broke when the world started revolving around you. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/43 "2006-07-25T15:18:11Z")
You can clearly see that there are routes around the construction. The red circle is the intersection in question and the purple line is the route I take to aviod it. Simple really, but most will never figure this out. [Top photo, you may have to zoom to see…](http://bryon-miscellaneous.blogspot.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/44 "2006-07-25T15:20:13Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > By the way, you owe me a new vase. Mine fell off the table and broke when the world started revolving around you. Hold on. Whas that directed at me? Ha, the joker that takes up the whole intersection with 50 cars behind him _isn’t_ having a case of ‘The World Revolves Around Me’?? Funny, that. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/45 "2006-07-25T15:27:19Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Hold on. Whas that directed at me? Ha, the joker that takes up the whole intersection with 50 cars behind him _isn’t_ having a case of ‘The World Revolves Around Me’?? > Funny, that. Uh, nope. Because that’s the way driving works. People need to wait for people making turns. It’s not actually a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/46 "2006-07-25T15:37:01Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Easy, make a left turn then go up a block or two and make a U-turn, then proceed to go straight through on the next green light, ergo, right turn. > Sometimes you have to go out of your way to keep the flow of traffic convenient for everyone. If I don’t turn right I end up on the motorway heading wayyyyyyyy more south then anyone’s momentary inconvience is worth, perhaps there is a turn off I could take before this one but I should take a turn off that will make my trip 10-15 minutes longer to save some impatient bastard 1 maybe 2 minutes? Sometimes impatient bastards have to realise that we are all just trying to get home. Not all intersections have ever so handy escape routes. The majority of people don’t sit in traffic because they enjoy it or because they enjoy pissing you off. > [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Now, if you have absolutely no other choice but to make that obstructive left (right) turn then those in charge of that construction should be aware of this and should have allowed provisions. That or put up a ‘No Right Turn’ sign. Please feel free to come and tell my council how things _should_ work because they are absolutely incapable of doing anything sensible themselves. I could complain but I just want to get to work and get home. I expect road works to be annoying from time to time but I also expect people to act like adults when that happens. Tantrums are for 2 yr olds not adults. Impatient wankers cause accidents. > [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Life really is simpler then some let on to believe. Absolutely! Simpler does not always mean faster though. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/47 "2006-07-25T15:46:48Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Hold on. Whas that directed at me? Ha, the joker that takes up the whole intersection with 50 cars behind him _isn’t_ having a case of ‘The World Revolves Around Me’?? > Funny, that. You want people to “_make a left turn then go up a block or two and make a U-turn, then proceed to go straight through on the next green light, ergo, right turn_”. And the reason you want them to do this is not to make YOUR commute faster, it’s to make THEIR commute faster. You don’t go around the congestion to make YOUR commute faster, you do it to make everyone else’s commute faster. You’re a regular Mother Theresa, you is. Here’s a newsflash. Construction causes congestion. Yes, if everyone took alternate routes, it would lessen the congestion. And I’m sure cause other problems that could be solved if only someone would think of the Uncommon Sense!!! ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/48 "2006-07-25T16:05:51Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Let me explain two circumstances in particular. Both of these happened while I was at a bike race with my Wife. I do know how to drive when there are dozens of bikes around. > > I also know that bikers get very frustrated with cars. > > 1 - At an intersection, on a green light I wanted to make a left. A bicyclist was proceeding across the intersection and had the ROW. Though he was not yet in his peddles and was having a bit of a problem getting going. He tried to wave me through. What he did not know is that another bike behind him was moving and was going through the intersection. > > 2 - Me, right turn out of a parking lot onto a fast two lane road with a bike lane. 6 bikes are approaching from the left. I decide to wait. I could have gunned it and gotten out. Lead rider waves me out. And starts to slow down. The rest of the group does not see this, and since they do have the ROW, I don’t go and let them pass before I make my turn. > > They where trying to be nice. That’s great, but it created dangerous situations. I understand, except the part about “bicycle lanes.” Do you mean that cindery part of the road to the right of the white line, where the sawgrass and thistles grow? I very seldom actually stop at a stop sign anyway. I ususally slow down and backpedal until the intersection is clear, and then ride through. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/49 "2006-07-25T16:29:01Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > Strike one. > > Foul tip. Strike two. > > Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand an extremely dangerous strike three. > > You may feel free to surrender your license to any DMV in your area. Thank you for your co-operation. Yeah, Kiminy, the problem is, other people can’t read your mind. 🙂 What seems obvious to you about a traffic situation may well not be obvious to them, and if they are responsible, they will follow the set rules rather than make judgments as to whether you are in posession of info they are not or not. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/50 "2006-07-25T16:31:22Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > You don’t go around the congestion to make YOUR commute faster, you do it to make everyone else’s commute faster. I’m not really following your discussion here, so I’m not piping up in defense of your interlocutor. I’m just posting a “say what?” because I don’t understand what you just said here. I know _I_ sometimes try to find a way around congested traffic in order to get where I’m going more quickly. (More often, though, I just turn on the radio and A/C and enjoy my mini-vacation.) I can’t figure out why you’ve said no one does this. It seems like an obvious and plausible thing for people to do. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/51 "2006-07-25T16:33:41Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > I’ve had 2 of my clients (I’m an insurance agent) sued in the past year for waving someone on when it wasn’t safe to do so. The wavees were then hit when they pulled out. In both cases the wavers were found at fault. I’d think that should be a shared liability. (Do they have that here in the states?) The waver shouldnt’ have waved, and the wavee shouldn’t have paid attention to the wave. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/52 "2006-07-25T16:36:59Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > You want people to “_make a left turn then go up a block or two and make a U-turn, then proceed to go straight through on the next green light, ergo, right turn_”. And the reason you want them to do this is not to make YOUR commute faster, it’s to make THEIR commute faster. _scratches head_ It would make both of our commutes faster. The left turner wouldn’t have to wait 3 minutes for the light to turn yellow before they are able to turn (left turners are NOT given any priority by the oncoming traffic). How long does it take to circumnavigate that interstection judging by the map? Couple minutes? There, that’s the length of time the turner is stuck at the light. And if they’re the first car at the light and they want to turn left, _no-one else behind them gets through that intersection_. Nobody. There isn’t room to pass on the right, what with the barricades and construction and all. I’m done with **calm kiwi’s** case, hers is definitely a special case. If I were backed up behind her I would not get upset, it is what it is (her traffic scenario). > [@](#): > > You don’t go around the congestion to make YOUR commute faster, you do it to make everyone else’s commute faster. Now you’re catching on… > [@](#): > > You’re a regular Mother Theresa, you is. That’s sweet of you to say. > [@](#): > > Here’s a newsflash. Construction causes congestion. Yes, if everyone took alternate routes, it would lessen the congestion. And I’m sure cause other problems that could be solved if only someone would think of the Uncommon Sense!!! Ta-DAH!!! Seriously, the only people that should be thinking ahead are the ones that KNOW that their manuever will cause additional backups. **Dante** , if there are three entrances to the HomeDepot (you have to go there for some reason) and you can just as easily enter the parking lot from any of the three, with me? Do you pick the one that is most convenient for you, or the one that is the least likely to cause some kind of traffic problem (I could go into details if you like, but try to use your imagination here)? I suspect you would use the one that causes the least amount of ‘problems’, right?, putting your immediate convenience aside for the moment. The same could be said about an easily avoidable left turn encounter. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/53 "2006-07-25T16:39:35Z")
Just being sarcastic. It is an obvious thing to do for yourself, but Uncommon Sense seems to think that everyone should be doing it not for their own benefit, but for the benefit of others. Or, specifically, him. Or her. Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/54 "2006-07-25T16:42:29Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Here’s a scenario that I see all the time. > > Four way intersection; > > It’s not your turn to go yet (right of way thing and all), yet the guy who would have went before you is being blocked by someone making a left turn in front of them and across their path, then it’s ok for you to go. > Use common sense people!! > If there’s an 18-Wheeler or some other putz making a turn through the intersection and he’s blocking/fucking up the normal right of way procedure (and you have a clean shot to make it through the intersection) than **Just Go!** , use that to your advantage! No one commented on this bit, so I want to do an intuition check: Did this part of US’s post seem as crazy to others as it seems to me? This seems totally dangerous to me. So much so I thought at first US was being facetious. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/55 "2006-07-25T17:12:12Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I’d think that should be a shared liability. (Do they have that here in the states?) The waver shouldnt’ have waved, and the wavee shouldn’t have paid attention to the wave. > > -FrL- The wavees must have had better lawyers than my wavers. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/56 "2006-07-25T17:26:37Z")
Well, I just went forward in time and it turns out that after 7 pages of discussion, with various scenarios offered by both sides (all specifically designed to bolster our own arguments), **Uncommon Sense** and I failed to reach an agreement! :shock: :dismay: :confusion: So I’m going to go ahead and just agree to disagree, and watch the time-space continuum collapse in on itself. Enjoy the show! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/57 "2006-07-25T17:36:55Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > No one commented on this bit, so I want to do an intuition check: Did this part of US’s post seem as crazy to others as it seems to me? > > This seems totally dangerous to me. So much so I thought at first US was being facetious. > > -FrL- [Nope.](http://bryon-miscellaneous.blogspot.com/) Car 1 was there first, needs to make left turn in front of the car that was there second. The third car to arrive on the scene has a clear shot for his left turn as the first car blocks the second car from going. Third car _could_ wait for the first car to clear the intersection, then for the second car to go and then make his left turn, but what’s the harm if car three goes while car two is being blocked by car one? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/58 "2006-07-25T17:49:36Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > Well, I just went forward in time and it turns out that after 7 pages of discussion, with various scenarios offered by both sides (all specifically designed to bolster our own arguments), **Uncommon Sense** and I failed to reach an agreement! > > :shock: :dismay: :confusion: > > So I’m going to go ahead and just agree to disagree, and watch the time-space continuum collapse in on itself. Enjoy the show! Really? Seven pages? That is sooooo unlike me. Shame on me for such behavior!! I don’t know why drivers trying to figure out routes that make it easier on other drivers (and usually themselves) would be so foreign to people. Especially during times when one simple pre-thought out manuever could relsult in a dramatic increase in the traffic flow for everyone else. You’re right, agree to disagree I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Kiminy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Kiminy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiminy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/59 "2006-07-25T17:54:44Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Yeah, Kiminy, the problem is, other people can’t read your mind. 🙂 What seems obvious to you about a traffic situation may well not be obvious to them, and if they are responsible, they will follow the set rules rather than make judgments as to whether you are in posession of info they are not or not. > > -FrL- I don’t assume that people will read my mind. However, I do adapt to different situations. The cell phone example: this is a very quiet neighborhood intersection, without much traffic. The streets are narrow, so there is not much difference between pulling over to the side of the street to make the call, or making a stop at the stop sign for the 15 seconds it took to make my call. When I stopped, there was no visible traffic approaching in any direction. I would not have done this if there had been anyone behind me, nor would I have done it if it had been a busier intersection. If the driver I wanted to wave through chose to wait rather than assume that I really did mean that he could go on when I waved at him, I guess he was trying to read my mind rather than what I was actually trying to communicate with him. Lesson learned, though. Next time, I will definitely drive through an intersection while yakking on my cell phone rather than run the risk of making someone else feel like he was breaking the law or something. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793/60 "2006-07-25T18:07:48Z")
I think if we could just show diagrams that look like those Driver Improvement class visual aids or something, it’s be a lot easier. Anyway, I propose the following: 1. If you’re in a two lane road turning left against traffic during rush hour\*, **it would be nice** if you tried to mitigate your (negative) effect on traffic flow, **if possible** , by scrunching over to the left to allow cars to pass on the right, going a block further where there’s a turn lane and circling the block, turning right and doing a U-Turn, etc. Due to the vagaries of place and time and construction, this isn’t always possible or safe, in which case: 2. The drivers behind the left-turner need to chill the FUCK out. If that particular intersection is causing significant delays, do you civic duty and report it to the proper authorities, with profanity excluded, for now. \*For purposes of this discussion, I’m using the drive-on-the-right protocol. Please swap left and right as needed. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/traffic-fucktards-and-housepets-who-love-them-next-on-sally-jessy-funky/365793.md?page=4)