# Trapped in a dark alley... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 9, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477 "2003-04-09T02:55:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/1 "2003-04-09T02:55:36Z")
OK, here’s the situation: You are alone, walking down a dark alley on your way home and a big, mean guy steps out in front of you (for the guys, he’s bigger and meaner looking than you). He behaves in an intimidating manner, and clearly wants to hurt you. No weapons. He advances toward you and if you don’t do anything his next move will be to grab you with one arm and hit you with the other. What do you do before this happens? I am asking to see what people’s ideas of self defence are, as a practitioner and trainee intructor of both martial arts and self defence I am curious to see what knowledge is out there. Cheers, David ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/2 "2003-04-09T03:01:06Z")
Scream, turn around, and run like hell. But even then I probably wouldn’t get very far as I can’t jog ten yards without getting out of breath, and actual running nearly gives me black eyes from the bouncing breastage. But that would be my plan. Either that, or cower. Curl up in a ball on the ground and cower, cry, and whimper “Please don’t hurt me, I’m just a pathetic little fat girl!” over and over again. Why yes, I am a tremendous wuss, why do you ask? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/3 "2003-04-09T03:52:00Z")
Throw up all over myself, then start gibbering and frothing at the mouth while starting to swing my arms in a wild manner. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/4 "2003-04-09T03:57:59Z")
Run(I am pretty fast), try to put some distance between me and him, and then get my knife out(I always carry a Swiss Army Knife; the blade isn’t very long, but it is better than nothing.). If there is a pipe or other convient club nearby I will grab that for my other hand, and yell at the guy to get away from me. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/5 "2003-04-09T04:04:16Z")
It’s hard to say what I would do, as I’ve never been in a situation like that. I THINK I would shout, “Stay away from me” and try to run. If I were grabbed, I would yell “FIRE!” because that is probably more likely to get a response from anyone overhearing. My instinct is to make as much noise as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/6 "2003-04-09T04:09:35Z")
Scream. Scream and run. If he caught me, I’d start swinging and kicking and generally flailing about. And screaming some more. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/7 "2003-04-09T04:13:27Z")
Kick him in the nuts and haul ass. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/8 "2003-04-09T04:23:01Z")
First off I wouldn’t _be_ in the dark alley in the first place… But I would probably yell get away from me and do a u-turn and run… if he was too close to do that I’d try to duck the grab/punch and kick at his boys… Of course this guy would have to be a fair bit bigger then I am, as I’m not a small girl by any means (6’1, when I have shorter hair and am not wearing obviously feminine clothing… ie not skirts… I sometimes am refered to as sir) ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/9 "2003-04-09T05:40:36Z")
It depends on whether I thought I could outrun him. If I thought I had a reasonable shot at escape, I’d run like hell, probably while yelling “Fire!” as **LifeOnWry** said. If I decided my chances of outrunning him were slim, I’d go low, sidekick him as hard as I could on the inside of one knee, and _then_ run. There are not many people who could catch even slow, fat me if I have landed such a kick on them. There are various other responses if my escape is somehow blocked, but they’re complicated and depend heavily on what’s around, so I’m not going into them. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/10 "2003-04-09T06:26:59Z")
Assuming I’m walking down a dark alley in the first place (“It’s hard to be mugged or murdered if you aren’t there to begin with”), and that I’ve left all my stuff at home, boot to the kneecap to make way for a palm heel to the chin followed by running away towards the nearest centre of population screaming “FIRE” in the loudest little girl voice I could manage. I tip in at around 250, so anybody who’s bigger and scarier than me deserves the chance to hear my little girl voice. ---
**Author:** ![big\_alex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e56c9b/32.png) [@big\_alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/big_alex)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/11 "2003-04-09T11:09:59Z")
Turn and run, or shins, balls, stomach and leg it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/12 "2003-04-09T11:37:10Z")
Put me in the “wouldn’t be there in the first place” camp. I’d hope that the vague self-defense lessons I’ve had in the past would kick in, altho I like the idea of puking all over myself. I have a friend who’s a geeky-looking, scrawny guy who happens to have a black belt in some martial art. He got lost in a strange city and was accosted by a man with a knife. My friend did one of those spinning kicks and landed his foot in the guy’s crotch. That pretty much ended the encounter. So I guess if I had to go down a dark alley, I’d want that friend with me. [sub]Wonder if he can still do that stuff at 47??[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/13 "2003-04-09T11:52:16Z")
Hmm… well, yes ok, assuming I was there in the first place… I’d probably do one or more of the following: - Mutter “oh fuck” - Run screaming - If trapped, I’d duck low and punch him in the guts (I’m very good at this, apparently, having caused a few men to double-up as a result of this action) or kick him hard in the shins/knees. If he was close enough to do it, and slow enough to not stop me, I’d go for a throat strike/whack the side of his neck. I’d probably not go for the balls straight away as guys tend to be somewhat protective of this area, especially if they’re picking a fight - If all that failed, fight dirty. Poke his eyeballs, bite his ears, knee his balls. stamp his toes, headbutt, you name it. No scumbag in some dimly-lit alley is gonna take me off this planet without a damn good fight. Max 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/14 "2003-04-09T11:53:08Z")
I might try [url=“[http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits2/fal0114.htm](http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits2/fal0114.htm)”]Ironic Self Defence [/quote] ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/15 "2003-04-09T11:54:33Z")
Maxxxie! This is exactly what we teach…is that something you’ve been taught or just your own instincts? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/16 "2003-04-09T11:55:05Z")
Damn! [Non-physical Violence](http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits2/fal0114.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/17 "2003-04-09T12:03:18Z")
**green\_dragon** , a bit of both. I did TKD years ago when I was a teen, but gave it up 15 years ago, so I doubt I’d have any skill applying the more complicated stuff… plus I figure if I’m slow at delivering something complicated (eg a kick to the head), he’d just grab my leg, snap it like a twig and have his way with me. No thanks! Seriously - apart from the TKD (which, I might add, didn’t really teach me much in the way of self-defence), I did some training a security guard/crowd controller years ago. That’s where I learnt the more straight-forward methods like throat strikes. If the guy was slow enough, or stupid enough to do something like grab my jacket, I’d just put him into a hold and take great pleasure in snapping his wrist and elbow. But hey, that’s just me 🙂 Seriously - if someone’s gonna attack me, to hell with being nice. I take the point of view that if he hits me, I mightn’t be able to defend myself afterwards - best that he doesn’t get a shot in to start with. Max 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/18 "2003-04-09T13:22:31Z")
With witnesses: Yell “Fire” at the top of my lungs. No witnesses: take out his knees, then leave. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/19 "2003-04-09T13:39:51Z")
At 6’1" and 275, I don’t tend to find myself in this situation very often. I’d probably back away if I could and find someplace a little more well traveled (I tend to stay away from dark alleys anyway, but still…). If it came down to it, I’d probably put my keys in my hand such that the longest key blade was sticking out between the knuckles of my first and second fingers, then a kick to the gut, a right cross to the jaw (with the key) followed by running like the Flash. A strong right foot to the groin is always good too, but the natural reflex for us guys is definitely to protect the family jewels when a fight starts, so that might not be as easy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477/20 "2003-04-09T13:58:28Z")
What the **Duke of Rat** says, tempered with a nod to the avoidance choir. I’m a big fan of Nike-do as self-defense. But would go for an initial shot to slow down his ability to pursue. If he covered up his nuts, I’d follow up with a shot to whatever target he presented to me. Likely over the top to his face/eyes/throat. Or maybe a front or side kick to his upper leg/midsection, to give him pause and create distance. I trained streetfighting and competed in various full contact events for several years. At 185#, I was consistently at the bottom of the heavyweight class, with opponents upwards of 300#, so a bigger opponent is nothing new or particularly intimidating to me. If I were in the habit of walking down dark alleys, I’d certainly be carrying at least one blade. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-a-dark-alley/167477.md?page=2)