# Trapped in the Closet: Please help me understand! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 9, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577 "2007-09-09T16:06:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/1 "2007-09-09T16:06:53Z")
I have never felt more excluded from everyone else’s reality in my life. Do I need to even articulate the question? Is this a giant joke that no one told me about? I detect millions of dollars being spent here on something that escapes me utterly. It’s achingly, cringingly, painfully embarassing and awful as music, as a joke, as art of any sort. Every encounter I’ve had with it, in any form, leaves me wondering if I’m in a Twilight Zone episode, specificaly the one with the Ellie May chick feeling ugly when confronted by all the hideous doctors and nurses. Yeah, like that. So what the hell gives with this thing? (I am reminded because I just saw a full page ad for it in Entertainment Weekly: New Chapters! Gah!!!) ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/2 "2007-09-09T16:25:29Z")
Enlighten me…is this a new TV show? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/3 "2007-09-09T16:28:16Z")
So this has nothing to do with R. Kelly? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/4 "2007-09-09T16:30:45Z")
> **[Trapped in the Closet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_closet)** > > 42 minutes (The Next Installment) > Trapped in the Closet is a musical soap opera series by American R&B singer, songwriter and producer R. Kelly, with 33 "chapters" released sporadically from 2005 to 2012. Written, produced, and directed by Kelly, the series tells a story of a one-night stand that sets off a chain of events, gradually revealing a greater web of lies, sex and deceit. The music follows a distinct E major pattern, and most chapters feature the same melodic theme. > The first five cha... ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/5 "2007-09-09T16:45:06Z")
I think I speak for most of us here when I say: “What?” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/6 "2007-09-09T16:51:48Z")
Stay _away_ from the brown acid. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/7 "2007-09-09T16:56:10Z")
I still think [THIS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmGVYki-oyQ) is the best thing to come out of that suck-fest. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/8 "2007-09-09T16:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] So this has nothing to do with R. Kelly? [/QUOTE] Actually, I think it **is** about R. Kelly. Beyond that, I’m confused as well. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/9 "2007-09-09T17:09:17Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Actually, I think it **is** about R. Kelly. Beyond that, I’m confused as well. 😕 [/QUOTE] That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know if there was some populat TV show that had an episode entitled “Trapped In the Closet”. I remember hearing it for the first time on WJLB in Detroit. It was presented like I’d figure Pachibel’s “Canon” were presented for the first time, or Jacques Louis David’s “Death of Marat”. There was an air of reverence taken with it, which I found kinda funny. I’ve always dug R. Kelly’s music, but this was puffed up with so much self-importance, it’s impossible to not poke fun at it, especially when it does such a good job of doing that all by itself. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/10 "2007-09-09T18:25:28Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know if there was some populat TV show that had an episode entitled “Trapped In the Closet”. I remember hearing it for the first time on WJLB in Detroit. It was presented like I’d figure Pachibel’s “Canon” were presented for the first time, or Jacques Louis David’s “Death of Marat”. There was an air of reverence taken with it, which I found kinda funny. I’ve always dug R. Kelly’s music, but this was puffed up with so much self-importance, it’s impossible to not poke fun at it, especially when it does such a good job of doing that all by itself. [/QUOTE] There’s more to “Trapped in the Closet” than the original song. The man has some sort of ongoing online operetta going on. There are 22 chapters of this thing…and he’s still adding to it. ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/11 "2007-09-09T18:27:07Z")
Thank you for starting this thread. I couldn’t help but watch some of this when it aired on IFC a couple of nights ago. It struck me dumb…I couldn’t believe my eyes. The next morning, I wanted to start a thread, but I had convinced myself it was all a bad dream. You describe it perfectly. It’s just so so so bad in every way, it made me doubt my sanity. Afterwards, there was an interview with R. Kelly, where he spoke of it with such pride…I don’t know, I just don’t have the words. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/12 "2007-09-09T18:48:56Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] There’s more to “Trapped in the Closet” than the original song. The man has some sort of ongoing online operetta going on. There are 22 chapters of this thing…and he’s still adding to it. [/QUOTE] Yes, I’m much aware. It’s complete with midgets and everything. I was talking about the first salvo of the songs I heard. ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/13 "2007-09-09T18:50:00Z")
I seem to find it’s something you either hate or love. When I heard the very first one, I thought it was interesting and different. I liked it. Then it just went downhill from there. I do admit to watching it on IFC the other night though. Car accident you can’t look away from maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/14 "2007-09-09T19:04:40Z")
I been saying it for years; rap and hip-hop are just the new Beat Poetry, complete with obscure inanity and laughable claims that it has some kind of thematic depth that escapes the ordinary listerner. What a load of crap. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/15 "2007-09-09T19:18:38Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know if there was some populat TV show that had an episode entitled “Trapped In the Closet”. [/QUOTE] _South Park_ had a very famous episode by this title satirizing Tom Cruise, Scientology, and yes, R. Kelly’s magnum opus. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/16 "2007-09-09T20:02:34Z")
It’s absolutely hilarious, that’s why it’s a big deal. And R. Kelly helped matters by acting like the first 12 chapters were Shakespeare set to Mozart. (Seriously, if you ever watch the DVD with Chapters 1-12, watch them again with his brilliant and insightful “commentary” turned on.) Now that we have Chapters 13-22, it becomes painfully obvious he is finally in on the joke. And here’s a link for all of you fuddy-duddies to watch this modern-day epic for yourselves: [http://ifc.com/static/sections/kelly/trapped.html](http://ifc.com/static/sections/kelly/trapped.html) ---
**Author:** ![Shawn1767](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/17 "2007-09-09T20:05:46Z")
It’s one of the few instances where the Weird Al parody is less silly and more coherent than the original song. I had only heard the Weird Al version and heard rumors of the R.Kelly version. My wife was familiar with the R. Kelly version and when she heard the Weird Al version, she tried to explain to me the original version. I was in disbelief. So, she went out and bought the DVD of the R. Kelly version and we watched the whole thing. I will say one thing, it kept my attention. I kept wanting to see just how bizarre this video/song was going to get. I think the R. Kelly version is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/18 "2007-09-09T20:24:32Z")
It’s Urban Opera, really. Imagine staging it as an actual operatic production. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/19 "2007-09-09T21:05:23Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] I been saying it for years; rap and hip-hop are just the new Beat Poetry, complete with obscure inanity and laughable claims that it has some kind of thematic depth that escapes the ordinary listerner. What a load of crap. Stranger [/QUOTE] But that horrible song is neither rap nor hip-hop. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577/20 "2007-09-09T21:19:13Z")
You fuckers. I watched that heap of shit. Y’all owe me five minutes or so of life. Pay up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trapped-in-the-closet-please-help-me-understand/418577.md?page=2)