# "Trees" ( the poem by Kilmer) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** poetry\ **Created:** [July 22, 2024, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582 "2024-07-22T05:43:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/1 "2024-07-22T05:43:13Z")
You know, “I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree…”. That one. As a young girlie, I’m thinking grade 4 or 5. I loved that poem. I love the evoked images of birds nesting in her hair. So, Teacher gives an assignment. We had to write a poem and then a report on our poem and why we wrote it. Might’ve been some mention of being influenced by another poet. So I write this poem. Called “Poems”. Being miss clever Smarty-pants, I thought. I don’t remember exactly how it went but it was but something near “I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as…???” No telling what. I’m sure it wasn’t tree I mentioned. I wasn’t that brazen. But it was most likely close enough Teacher knew what I was going for. My report mentioned how much I loved poetry. And how I loved the poem “Trees”. I was very pleased with what I turned in. Not a care in the world. Few days later we got our grade. Mine was bad. From what I understood of her corrections, I had spelled a couple words wrong. But mostly she didn’t like my poem. So close to the original. Even the cadence was a near match. She accused me of copying. “What?” sez, I. The words were different. The sentiment was different. So I ask her why. She didn’t hear me. Well, that didn’t go well. She wrote a note to my Daddy. I have to say, as a disclaimer, Daddy was always my champion. This, he didn’t get. He said “So why did you copy this poem?” I ran and got my poem book and said this is what I was going by. He says “Why didn’t you write an original poem?” I argued, I had. My older Sister and Brother explained to him I was just using the Kilmer poem as inspiration. They convinced him to see the Teacher. And, he did. I wasn’t present. Apparently she fed him a long line about I had said “this or that” or _meant_ something or another. Using my written words, flipping them around. Saying they were meant to be saying something they didn’t. She eviscerated me. For no reason, other than she could. My grade was revised to a B. Not higher. I couldn’t prove she had said to write in the report what our inspiration was. The assignment was erased from the white-board. Alas. I survived. From then on in that class I didn’t try very hard in in English and Literature. I had better Teachers after that and always did well. And continue to love poetry. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/2 "2024-07-22T05:50:12Z")
If you are ever in Chicago look me up and I’ll take you to the poetry slam at The Green Mill. It’s where poetry slams started. Lots of fun. The poetry is hit or miss (more miss) but that is part of the fun (the slam part). But, more often than you might expect, there is something really good. I used to go every week for years but I moved further away and being out drinking late on a Sunday evening isn’t something I do anymore but I miss it and would be happy to go there with you. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/3 "2024-07-22T05:53:21Z")
Whoo hoo! Done. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/4 "2024-07-22T08:34:30Z")
One of the largest bits of Old Growth Forest in the Eastern United States is [Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest](https://www.blueridgeheritage.com/destinations/joyce-kilmer-memorial-forest/) People headed to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, especially if they were already headed towards the Cherokee, NC side, should consider checking it out. It’s not a long hike milage wise, but it is difficult enough that we stopped well short of the _really_ good trees. (I was there in April with my parents, who are almost 80 and no longer keen on rock scrambling. I think the guy who told us about it, oversold the “short” hike and had probably forgotten how rigorous the climb was to get to the best trees). But the idea is cool, and not enough people know about it, so I’m sharing it with you. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/5 "2024-07-22T09:43:43Z")
That would be fun trip. Thx ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/6 "2024-07-22T12:58:50Z")
Wasn’t there a Mad Magazine spoof, along the lines of: Alas, unless the billboards fall I’ll never see a tree at all. ?? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/7 "2024-07-22T13:47:15Z")
In the area I grew up you couldn’t fling a dead cat without hitting something named after Joyce Kilmer. The remnants of Camp Kilmer can still be seen. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/8 "2024-07-22T13:49:53Z")
> [@Jaycat.again](#): > > Wasn’t there a Mad Magazine spoof not Mad magazine. It was a real poet, named Ogden Nash. He wrote lots of other cutesy stuff, too [https://poetrysplash.tripod.com/ogdennash2.htm](https://poetrysplash.tripod.com/ogdennash2.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/9 "2024-07-22T13:56:35Z")
_The Simpsons_ also had a go at it: > I think that I shall never see > My cataracts are blinding me ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/10 "2024-07-22T14:08:41Z")
and on a more serious note: What surprises me about the OP is that the teacher wrote a note to the parents, and her father was concerned enough to meet with the teacher-- all to argue about one fairly simple homework assignment. That’s a sign of really caring about how a kid’s learning, methinks. After all, it was just a 4th grader’s bad poetry on one assignment. It wasn’t the final grade for the year, (you know , the one “that goes on your permanent record”.) Now,me… back in elementary school, I sure cared about getting good grades, so my parents would be proud of me. I always did all my homework, and they helped me when I asked. But I don’t think they ever argued with a teacher over any specific assignment, and I don’t think any teacher would have written them a note asking them to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/11 "2024-07-22T14:33:35Z")
> [@Jaycat.again](#): > > Wasn’t there a Mad Magazine spoof, along the lines of: > > Alas, unless the billboards fall > I’ll never see a tree at all. I recall the Mad Mag parody circa 1960 thus: _I think that I shall never hear_ _A poem lovelier than beer._ _The brew that Joe’s Bar has on tap,_ _With golden base and snowy cap._ _And there I’ll sit and drink all day_ _Until my mem’ry floats away._ _Poems are made by fools, I fear_ _But only Schlitz can make a beer._ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/12 "2024-07-22T17:05:35Z")
I think that I shall never see Another **Top Gun** movie starring me — Val Kilmer ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/13 "2024-07-22T17:14:59Z")
One day my high school English teacher spent a good part of a class period explaining exactly why that was a really bad poem. Something about the metaphors being all mixed up. I personally have no strong feelings about it one way or another, but I’ll never forget that class. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/14 "2024-07-22T19:33:06Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > Something about the metaphors being all mixed up. You mean like a tree having hair, a mouth, arms and a bosom? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/15 "2024-07-22T19:37:15Z")
I can’t think of that poem without thinking of ‘Mertz’ in _Pork Lips Now!_ reciting part of it. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/16 "2024-07-22T20:42:28Z")
Maybe I was acting like the little spoiled brat I was. I didn’t get bad grades. I know I felt very misunderstood and not heard. She actually was a nice woman and always concerned about my health issues and asking did I need to see the nurse. Sometimes, I knew my glucose was fine but I said yes and just wandered around the school awhile. Bad, bad, bad Beck. (Oh yeah, same teach insisted on calling me my front name. It’s not Beck or any variation. That’s my middle name. My other name is horrible) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/17 "2024-07-22T21:11:52Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > One day my high school English teacher spent a good part of a class period explaining exactly why that was a really bad poem. I had a teacher dissect it line by line pointing out the flaws. It is famously reviled, and is even the genesis of a bad poetry contest: > **[Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Kilmer_Memorial_Bad_Poetry_Contest)** > > The Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest has been hosted annually by the Philolexian Society, a literary and debating group at Columbia University, since 1986, drawing crowds of 200–300 students and participants vying for the title of best of the worst. Columbia faculty members serve as judges. The event is usually held in November and is heralded by the appearance of "Bad Poetry in Motion" flyers around campus (satirizing the New York City Subway's "Poetry in Motion" series) featu Th... ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/18 "2024-07-22T21:29:18Z")
As a 4th grader I thought it was just wonderful. Maybe Kilmer wrote it as a kid or for kids. But, Anywhoo, I loved it. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2024, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/19 "2024-07-22T22:53:44Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > As a 4th grader I thought it was just wonderful. > > Maybe Kilmer wrote it as a kid or for kids. > > But, Anywhoo, I loved it. Legend has it that it was written about a particular tree on Rutgers campus. The Kilmer Oak. That tree was cut down long ago because it was dying. Cuttings of that tree were taken and its offspring still survive. Kilmer’s wife refuted that saying he wrote it looking out the window of their home towards a wooded area. He died before anyone could ask him but it certainly wasn’t written when he was a child. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2024, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582/20 "2024-07-23T00:04:09Z")
Nice! Thanks [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-the-poem-by-kilmer/1004582.md?page=2)