# Trees You Don't Like

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 30, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137 "2005-05-30T22:06:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/41 "2005-05-31T19:37:06Z")

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> [@Snakescatlady](#):
>
> Magnolias. The brief season of beautiful flowers and heavenly scent does not make up for the fact that the darn things shed leaves all year long - and it’s hard to get anything to grow under them. The roots grow so close to the surface there’s no soil for other plants.
> 
> Thank goodness I left those behind when I moved.

OMG, I opened this thread to post this very thing. I LOATHE magnolia trees now that I have a gigantic one littering up my entire front “yard”, walkway, porch, street & driveway. It’s a nightmare. Those blasted leaves literally blanket everything on a daily basis. There is no amount of sweeping and raking that will keep your yard/walkway looking halfway decent for any period of time longer than a nanosecond. And the blasted leaves get tangled up inside every other shrub, tree and flower anywhere in its vicinity, some of which are actually dangerous to stick your hand in to pick them out (like the huge pampas grasses with razor-sharp leaves that will shred your arms if you stick them in there without long sleeves and gloves, and some of the small, thorny palm trees we have). And they don’t just drop leaves, but those damn [bulb thingies](http://160.114.99.91/astrojan/flowers/4/magno.jpg), too, which are extemely dangerous to accidentally step on, as they roll under your feet and cause you to lose your balance.

And there’s not a damn thing we can do about this monstrosity because it’s on that strip of city property between the sidewalk and the curb, not to mention that it’s an “historic” tree, so it can’t be touched.

Hate, HATE, HATE that freaking tree!

> [@](#):
>
> [how do I prune a magnolia tree? (pictures included) | UBC Botanical Garden Forums](http://www.ubcbotanicalgarden.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7144)
> 
> “…at ground level, a wide tarn of black shade, and a summer long litter of big leaves in ones and twos over a long period. To my mind this handsome tree has little place in home gardening.” - G. Schenk, The Complete Shade Gardener (Houghton Mifflin)

Truer words were never spoken.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/42 "2005-05-31T20:27:23Z")

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I like magnolias because they remind me of my childhood and stuff, but one of my most traumatic childhood injuries occurred at the hands of a magnolia.

I was in nursery school. The playground had a big ole magnolia (I’m thinking it was a southern, but I’m not sure). Anyway, there was always a bunch of dead leaves surrounding it, and in my four-year-old mind, they resembled taco shells. I decided that the sand in the sandbox made for a nice taco filling, so I started making “tacos” for everyone. Harmless enough, right?

Little did I know how leaky my tacos were. Sand on smooth concrete = very slippery. My mother showed up to pick me up and as I ran over to her, I slipped on the sand and fell flat on my FACE. My bottom lip exploded all over everything. I was very unhappy pre-schooler.

It wasn’t actually the magnolia’s fault, but I still blame it.

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**Author:** ![Poonther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Poonther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poonther)\
**Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/43 "2005-05-31T21:49:13Z")

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CRAPPY MYRTLES aka Crepe Myrtles. Every median from Ocala, Florida up to Virginia seems to be lined with these stupid tree shrubs. Oh they are especially beautiful in the winter after they have been hat-rack cut and are nothing but sawed off bare sticks in the cold ground…yeah that’s beautiful!

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**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\
**Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/44 "2005-05-31T21:52:45Z")

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I really hate those long, thin palm tress. They look like mutant Q-Tips. If you’ve been to the beach of Santa Barbara, you’ve [seen 'em](http://www.igougo.com/photos/journal_photos/palm%20trees.jpg).

I don’t mind the ones with less freakish proportions, like on Market on [Dolores](http://www.bigfoto.com/sites/galery/san-francisco/san_francisco_71_dolores.jpg) street here in SF.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/45 "2005-06-01T00:29:40Z")

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> [@Poonther](#):
>
> CRAPPY MYRTLES aka Crepe Myrtles. Every median from Ocala, Florida up to Virginia seems to be lined with these stupid tree shrubs. Oh they are especially beautiful in the winter after they have been hat-rack cut and are nothing but sawed off bare sticks in the cold ground…yeah that’s beautiful!

I looked up the Crape Myrtles - do they all drop their bark like [this (second picture down)?](http://www.floridata.com/ref/l/lager_i.cfm) Cause that’s neither alluring nor tantalizing - that’s just gross.

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**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/46 "2005-06-01T01:06:02Z")

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I hate ALL trees! Trees of any type, size, color or shape! I think they are all disgusting and any tree would be better replaced by something steel, glass or concrete.

… I’m not a big fan of grass either.

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**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/47 "2005-06-01T01:32:33Z")

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I simply can’t believe no one has mentionsed a catalpa tree , AKA as the “cigar tree” , because of it’s long seed pods . The things grow like … weeds . EVERYWHERE . We cut ours down a couple years ago , and still the seedlings keep popping thier ugly heads up . The trees are home to catalpa caterpillars , which are MAJOR ugly , tho I hear they make good fishing bait … and the trees are covered in flowers in the spring that I will admit are PRETTY … while they are on the tree , but once they drop off ,they very qickly rot into a slimy , stinking mass that the dogs track in constantly . Nope … not a catalpa fan…

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**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/48 "2005-06-01T01:51:18Z")

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There is some kind of trash tree that grows around here. It has pointy leaves kinda like a maple, but I don’t think that’s what it is. It’s one of those trees that starts growing up immediately after a patch of ground is cleared, and it’s hard as h\*\*\* to get rid of. I have several in my yard I’ve cut back multiple times, and the dratted things keep growing.

I wish I knew what they were. Maybe then I’d have some power over them.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/49 "2005-06-01T14:54:02Z")

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> [@lieu](#):
>
> Mimosas. Their horrid shade of pink is appropriate only on a hooker’s feather boa.

Good drinking, though.

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**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/50 "2005-06-01T15:01:00Z")

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[QUOTE=missbunny]  
I hate the Norway Maple. It has the root system of the devil. They will travel far and wide to spread their evil.QUOTE]

Are these the ones that drop those annoying helicopter seeds ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE???

The ones that never sweep up and are so fertile that when they drop in your gutter, they grow. if they drop in the cracks in your driveway, they grow. If they drop, so help me god through a crack in your deck, they grow!!!

Hate them.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/51 "2005-06-01T22:17:08Z")

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> [@mr bus guy](#):
>
> > [@missbunny](#):
> >
> > I hate the Norway Maple. It has the root system of the devil. They will travel far and wide to spread their evil.
> 
> Are these the ones that drop those annoying helicopter seeds ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE???
> 
> The ones that never sweep up and are so fertile that when they drop in your gutter, they grow. if they drop in the cracks in your driveway, they grow. If they drop, so help me god through a crack in your deck, they grow!!!
> 
> Hate them.

Norway’s kind of look like sugar maples, but they are much more common. Also, Norways produce a milky sap.

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**Author:** ![Bewildebeest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bewildebeest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bewildebeest)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/52 "2005-06-02T02:01:23Z")

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[QUOTE=mr bus guy]

> [@missbunny](#):
>
> I hate the Norway Maple. It has the root system of the devil. They will travel far and wide to spread their evil.QUOTE]
> 
> Are these the ones that drop those annoying helicopter seeds ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE???
> 
> The ones that never sweep up and are so fertile that when they drop in your gutter, they grow. if they drop in the cracks in your driveway, they grow. If they drop, so help me god through a crack in your deck, they grow!!!
> 
> Hate them.

Silver maple is much worse. In addition to all the other bad maple qualities, the wood is brittle and snaps in the least little breeze. When you burn it, it gives off a horrid bitter stench.

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**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/53 "2005-06-02T02:09:31Z")

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This is one of the worst descriptions ever, but here goes. When I was in gradeschool there was a bus stop in my neighborhood that had a small stand of trees just outside it. I don’t know what they were, I don’t even remember what they looked like. But when their leaves came out in the spring, they _STUNK!_ Holy crap, did those trees reek. They smelled like…I don’t know…something musty. I didn’t like them.

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**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/54 "2005-06-02T03:46:59Z")

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Speaklng of Trees Of Heaven, I thought this was what **Monstro** was talking about. We have them in practically every roadside, abandoned lot, etc. around here. When I was little I thought it was poisonous :eek:

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**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/55 "2005-06-02T05:57:27Z")

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> [@Archergal](#):
>
> [Bradford Pear.](http://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheets/Graphics/pear/bpear.htm)
> 
> They look nice when they bloom in the spring, but they’re not sturdy. After a few years, their branches break off, sometimes splitting the tree in half. They’re the bane of houseowners in my neighborhood.

I second that. Almost every lawn in this area has one, and I hate them.

You forgot to mention the fact that when they bloom, they smell like rotting meat.

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**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/56 "2005-06-02T16:40:18Z")

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I’m allergic to cotton wood trees, so I’ve got a bias there!

Other than that, I can’t think of any tree I actively dislike. I really can’t tell one from another.

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**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/57 "2005-06-02T18:15:24Z")

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> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#):
>
> This is one of the worst descriptions ever, but here goes. When I was in gradeschool there was a bus stop in my neighborhood that had a small stand of trees just outside it. I don’t know what they were, I don’t even remember what they looked like. But when their leaves came out in the spring, they _STUNK!_ Holy crap, did those trees reek. They smelled like…I don’t know…something musty. I didn’t like them.

Maybe the [“Sperm” tree](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_363.html)?

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**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/58 "2005-06-02T18:40:45Z")

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I’ll second the mimosa. I think the flowers are pretty, but the tree itself is just a big weed. They love to grow right at the base of a house, and the only way I’ve found to kill the little ones is with boiling water.

My mom has a chinaberry tree in her yard. It’s not an ugly tree, but it heavily sheds chinaberries everywhere. They clogged up the gutter and made bulges in the latex paint on the porch after one of the rare rains in Southern California.

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**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/59 "2005-06-02T20:44:03Z")

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Pin oaks. They hurt, and seem to jump out to get you. Fortunately, they don’t appear to exist in Texas. But I remember back in Ohio they were damned near impenetrable.

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trees-you-dont-like/306137/60 "2005-06-02T21:03:41Z")

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> [@featherlou](#):
>
> Poplars. The ones that make the fluff that everyone’s allergic to, and the ones that drop the sticky leaf covers every spring - I’m not sure if they’re the same tree, but I hate both of them. They run suckers throughout your yard, they go through your foundation to get at water, they block up your pipes - what’s not to hate?

You forgot the best part- the damn things have a very short life span (20-40 years, tops), so they’re falling down all the time. We lose at least half a dozen every winter. They worry me because I’ve already had one tree (a massive pine) fall through the roof of a house before, and I’d like to never repeat the experience.

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