# Treis, no means no.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 13, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556 "2013-04-13T01:07:05Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 464

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**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/464 "2013-04-16T00:27:08Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> By saying this in the conversational context you said it in, (i.e. as a response to the question “why do guys think it’s okay to pursue me even after I’ve said no?”) you implied that the existence of examples like the three above shows it can be justifiable to pursue a woman after she has said “no.”

In MOL’s case, no I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to try something given the situation. So long as it doesn’t cross the line to harassment or badgering.

> [@Essured](#):
>
> Maybe we’re all missing your point or maybe you’re missing our point. I’ll try to explain in another way, using your words
> 
> 1. “No does not always mean absolutely no”
> 2. “That post is three examples of women saying no to something they actually want”
> 
> People are objecting to (1). You seem to be saying that if someone says ‘no’ to something they want (2), that means their ‘no’ doesn’t actually mean ‘no’ (1). We’re trying to say that even if they want it, their ‘no’ most certainly means ‘no’.
> 
> People often say ‘no’ to something that they want. Even if they want something, they have decided ‘no’ (for a variety of possible reasons). But they still said ‘no’. And the no they said, means no, even if there is a bunch of subtext going on. But people are getting angry at you because you keep insisting that no doesn’t mean no (1), while repeating examples of ‘no’ (2). Forget sex. Think of chocolate fudge ice cream. Or that sexy motorbike. Or that new game. Even if you want it, you can still say no for other reasons, and that no that you said does mean absolutely no.

I don’t think there is much disagreement about what I mean. Just, apparently, what is an acceptable follow up. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking a second time. In fact, I’d say that outside of sexual situations that’s the norm. It’s only when you’re asking for the third and fourth and fifth time that you’ve crossed the line.

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