# Trek Dopers, what would you include in an R rated Star Trek? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 27, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156 "2003-01-27T03:30:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/81 "2003-01-30T14:51:03Z")
Thanks, 😃 **pal** Avery Brook’s signature line would be like Danny Glover’s: _“I’m getting too old for this shit!”_ Instead of _Saving Private Ryan_, we would have _Saving Redshirt Ryan_. Or, have _Enterprise NCC-1701E_ meet the Buggers from _Ender’s Game_. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/82 "2003-01-30T16:01:47Z")
James Doohan…butt naked! ---
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/83 "2003-01-30T16:06:00Z")
_Trek Dopers, what would you include in an R rated Star Trek?_ We could start with a plot. /runs away ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/84 "2003-01-30T20:54:51Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by “Terrifel”_ > **This actually goes a long way towards justifying Kirk’s oft-maligned death scene in Nemesis.** _Gah!_ Man, I leave for one second to make myself a Steak-umm sandwich, and right away my evil doppelganger is sowing chaos and discord. I’m starting to think that rooming together was a bad idea. Of course, Kirk’s death scene was in _Generations_, not _Nemesis_. So don’t rush out and see the new movie thinking that you’re going to be able to watch Kirk somehow die again, because he doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/85 "2003-01-30T22:48:14Z")
sob… death scene… Nemesis… sob… I _miss_ Data! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/86 "2003-01-31T00:58:29Z")
**Malacandra:** Don’t worry…they have a spare. ---
**Author:** ![SC\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SC\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SC_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/87 "2003-01-31T04:12:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*So if Star Trek were to be more like Lexx… you’d have Troi boffing Picard for control of the Enterprise, naked people running around everywhere, and not an episode would go by that didn’t deal with sex in one way or another. \*\* You forgot that Data would be an android head without a body. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/88 "2003-01-31T04:12:48Z")
Hey, **Terrifel** , what took you so long to find The Dope where all the real Trekkers are? I like your input. Welcome aboard. Has anyone got info on the new **Enterprise** episode? Is it gonna be another “wrap it up in the last five minutes,” or might they actually get rid of the T’Pol character? If they do, maybe a real graphic rape/mutilation scene with long eared aliens from Planet X? Get it a MA-14 TV rating, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/89 "2003-01-31T04:16:25Z")
Oh, you too, **Malacandra**. Look for our weekly Trek/Ent threads. (Some of these guys are _really_ geekernauts, though) _ **Beware the Panda!** _ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/90 "2003-01-31T04:33:54Z")
Yes, Data would be a head with no body who was madly in love with Geordi. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/91 "2003-01-31T05:28:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > SNIP > > Look for our weekly Trek/Ent threads. (Some of these guys are _really_ geekernauts, though) > > SNIP \*\* * * * And GALS. 😉 I’m Geekalicious. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/92 "2003-01-31T05:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > SNIP > > Has anyone got info on the new **Enterprise** episode? Is it gonna be another “wrap it up in the last five minutes,” or might they actually get rid of the T’Pol character? > > If they do, maybe a real graphic rape/mutilation scene with long eared aliens from Planet X? Get it a MA-14 TV rating, wouldn’t it? \*\* * * * Here ya go: [http://www.startrek.com/news/nextonent.asp](http://www.startrek.com/news/nextonent.asp) Oh, I think they’ll fix her up, but I also think this episode will explain somewhat why Spock is so reluctant to do the mindmeld in TOS, in “Dagger of the Mind.” (speculation only) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/93 "2003-01-31T05:33:32Z")
Caught you, Viva… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/94 "2003-01-31T05:35:49Z")
A terminal disease would forever stigmatize her? That is not logical… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/95 "2003-01-31T05:44:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*A terminal disease would forever stigmatize her? > \*\* I think it’s an affliction known as… Boobius Levitatus ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/96 "2003-01-31T13:43:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > And GALS. 😉 > > I’m Geekalicious. \*\* You tell 'em, sister! Geek girl power! 🙂 \*\* Maaan, I hope they kill off T’Pol. She grates on my nerves sumthin’ awful. But of course, they won’t. They NEVER do what I want - I ask for one little naughty Decon scene featuring Trip and Archer, and what do I get? Nothin. Zilch. Make’s a person sick. Oh, yeah - there’s another thing to add to the R-Rated Trek list. Heh heh. Decon. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/97 "2003-01-31T13:48:07Z")
No, no, I mean “MAKES a person sick”! Na’sty apo’strophe’s - go back where you came from! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/98 "2003-01-31T14:11:31Z")
Oh, I know all about Trek geek-gals. I went out with one back in the days when there had only been one Trek film \* , and I even wooed her with an acrostic based on Trek trivia. Unfortunately she didn’t look like Seven of Nine, or T’Pol, or Saavik, or Jadzia Dax, or… heck, not even like “Number One”. ☹ Still, one can’t have everything. Right now I’m chuckling over the phrase “Star Trek Ents”, and trying not to pop the obvious gag about the captain’s log. Oops, too late.:smack: Thanks for the welcome, and when it comes time to pick the Earth vs Vulcan “Boring About Star Trek” team, be sure to pencil me in 😃 Apropos Data, the echoes of “Wrath of Khan” in the closing scenes of “Nemesis” weren’t lost on me. Still, the metaphysical implications alone are staggering. ( \* Which should give you an idea of how old a git I am ) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/99 "2003-01-31T16:08:18Z")
Oooh…! What if T’Pol got accosted by the Ents in a very special _Lord of the Star Trek_? Then, the Enterprise goes on a program of planet wide deforrestation to get her back. She is unharmed, but her breasts are even bigger. Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156/100 "2003-01-31T17:17:42Z")
**NCB** - I think that would qualify as harmed - think of the strain on the poor woman’s spine! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-dopers-what-would-you-include-in-an-r-rated-star-trek/151156.md?page=6)