# Trek Food Synthesizers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061 "2006-01-22T02:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/21 "2006-01-23T21:10:41Z")
I don’t have the ST:TNG tech manual handy, but IIRC, the transporter erects a temporary force field around the spot where a person or item is being transported to, does the transport, then takes down the field. Unlike the plastic door on a coffee vending machine, force fields don’t get scuffed up and dirty - they’re made fresh each time, so they’re invisible. Replicators are nothing more than transporters working off recipe books, rather than quantum scanners. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/22 "2006-01-23T21:34:08Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > the transporter erects a temporary force field around the spot Thanks for confusing me with the facts. _Dammit_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/23 "2006-01-23T21:40:05Z")
Apparently they do need “raw foodstock” to make things from. Which is probably why they can’t make really exotic things - they don’t have all the rare ingredients. Spicy, zesty, or otherwise unusual foods probably can’t be duplicated. In fact, it apprently can’t even get the taste of ordinary food down perfect. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/24 "2006-01-23T21:52:20Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#): > > In fact, it apprently can’t even get the taste of ordinary food down perfect. Big deal. Neither can your basic High School cafeteria. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/25 "2006-01-23T21:59:56Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > And what happens when you contract Rigelian flu? Every time you hack up a wad of phlegm, the food synthesizer hears you and churns out another Klingon appetizer. Some of those things move on their own power; by the time you haul your ailing carcass over to the machine, that snack’s already crawled under the counter and started laying its eggs. That’s still better than Neelix. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/26 "2006-01-24T04:04:21Z")
Accents confuse replicators. Seriously! Try it out next time you’re hungry. Order a French pastry in an East Indian accent. You’ll get cheese doodles 7 out of 10 times. Do it 100 times in a row and most consumer level replicators wil just pop out the base organic materials. Which, oddly enough look a lot like the coloured food cubes Kirk and gang used to eat. Weird but fun. Military/government units have filtered protocols which prevent this, unfortunately. It would be so fun to hide a camera in a Klingon envoy’s guest quarters and watch him mangle “Tea! Earl Grey! Hot!” out of curiousity and see him get chocolatte mousse (poisonous to almost all humanoids other than Homo Sapiens Sapiens). Gorram, how I miss my Academy days… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/27 "2006-01-24T04:16:13Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Gorram, how I miss my Academy days… As do I, as do I. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/28 "2006-01-24T04:41:54Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Gorram, how I miss my Academy days… As do I, as do I. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/29 "2006-01-24T04:55:45Z")
[Ship’s computer voice] _bullbeep_ _Please kindly remove your hand from the fuck’n replicator!_" [/Ship’s computer voice] ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/30 "2006-01-25T00:54:05Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#): > > Apparently they do need “raw foodstock” to make things from. Which is probably why they can’t make really exotic things - they don’t have all the rare ingredients. Spicy, zesty, or otherwise unusual foods probably can’t be duplicated. In fact, it apprently can’t even get the taste of ordinary food down perfect. The crew supplies the raw foodstock. Do you watch _DS9_? Surely you remember all the references to waste extraction. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/31 "2006-01-25T00:58:18Z")
UPN will never fuck with Star Trek again!!! Because there is no more UPN. It merged with WB? to form CW. I want UPN DEAD! I want their family DEAD! I want their dogs DEAD! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/32 "2006-01-25T01:03:01Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I want UPN DEAD! I want their family DEAD! I want their dogs DEAD! You remind me of King John in the Robert Taylor Ivanhoe: “Their women, their servants, their dogs! But most urgently, I want Ivanhoe.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/33 "2006-01-25T01:11:37Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Yes, but if they were passing through a Tachyon storm “I was at a party, and was just replicating a drink when we passed through a tachyon storm, at which point all my clothes fell off and the inertial dampers failed and…well, that’s how the coke bottle got stuck there, anyway, honestly!” ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/34 "2006-01-25T02:22:59Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > “I was at a party, and was just replicating a drink when we passed through a tachyon storm, at which point all my clothes fell off and the inertial dampers failed and…well, that’s how the coke bottle got stuck there, anyway, honestly!” We’ve all heard that one before. :dubious: actually I really mean 😉 but I just had to have an excuse to use the Spock face in this thread. Jim ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/35 "2006-01-25T03:56:10Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > We’ve all heard that one before. :dubious: Don’t forget the ears, Dude. ^ :dubious: ^ ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/36 "2006-01-25T04:18:14Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > \*I can’t see a food replicator mishap meriting an entire episode, although if Voyager had lasted for another season I wouldn’t have put it past them. > > “Fascinating, Captain. This green bean casserole is physically identical to the first, yet the duplicate is pure evil.”\* Red Dwarf did it in _Demons and Angels_, the replicator mishap caused 2 ships to appear! [http://www.sadgeezer.com/RedDwarf/epis5-05.htm](http://www.sadgeezer.com/RedDwarf/epis5-05.htm) > [@](#): > > Their one chance of survival is to collect the triplicators’ parts from both ships and re-assemble the original Red Dwarf from the two copies. > > They head for what looks like the good copy of Red Dwarf – it’s all bight and quite clean looking from the outside. Inside however, it looks like something from a Star Trek Dream sequence. The corridors are bright and cheery, there is a faint sound of soothing music in the background and it even smells nice! > > Lister and Cat even try the ultimate test. They order a pot noodle. Both have a taste and from the expressions on their faces, it tastes divine! “I’ll tell you one thing!” says Lister, “I’ve been to a parallel Universe, I’ve see time running backwards, I’ve played pool with planets and I’ve given birth to twins - but I never thought in my entire life, that I’d taste an edible pot noodle!” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/37 "2006-01-25T15:00:15Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > And what happens when you contract Rigelian flu? Every time you hack up a wad of phlegm, the food synthesizer hears you and churns out another Klingon appetizer. Some of those things move on their own power; by the time you haul your ailing carcass over to the machine, that snack’s already crawled under the counter and started laying its eggs. Now this would be a movie plot I could get my arms around! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/38 "2006-01-25T15:04:13Z")
I have a question about replicator etiquette. There was an episode where Crusher and Picard are in his office, and he requests a cup of Earl Grey tea, hot. I found it rude that he didn’t offer Crusher anything. I mean, it’s not like he had to go hunt down a targ or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/39 "2006-01-25T16:46:01Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I have a question about replicator etiquette. There was an episode where Crusher and Picard are in his office, and he requests a cup of Earl Grey tea, hot. I found it rude that he didn’t offer Crusher anything. I mean, it’s not like he had to go hunt down a targ or anything. Actually Picard orders his tea as, “Tea, Earl Grey, hot.” My guess is that there are enough replicators throughout the ship that offering him something wasn’t necessary. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/40 "2006-01-25T17:00:17Z")
He’s such a diplomat, very tactful, I can’t see him ordering some refreshment without ordering some for his guest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061.md?page=3)