# Trek Food Synthesizers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061 "2006-01-22T02:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/41 "2006-01-25T17:30:04Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Yeah, you also need a securitiy overide to get real chocolate and booze. Damn synthehol. Incorrect. In the episode with the Irish stereotypes and the colony of clones, Whorf says “If you wish, the replicator can produce real alcohol with all the deleterious effects intact. Whiskey!” “Terrible! It has no bite.” “Jakh Pollouk!” “(comic whoa-that’s-good-alcohol noises)”. WAG Starfleet personnel prefer synthehol as there is no chance of a hangover, and they remain sober in case of an emergency. Whorf still keeps some real bloodwine in his quarters for special occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/42 "2006-01-25T17:42:43Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > WAG Starfleet personnel prefer synthehol as there is no chance of a hangover, and they remain sober in case of an emergency. So, why the hell _do_ they drink it? The intoxicating effects are why people drink alcohol in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/43 "2006-01-25T17:54:16Z")
My guess is tradition. You get together with the guys, play poker, and drink synthehol. At one male bonding session, Whorf actually says “Less talk, more synthehol!” ---
**Author:** ![rainy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@rainy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rainy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/44 "2006-01-25T19:10:27Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > of the same general type as the ass-cheek detectors Oh my god. I’m wiping tears of mirth from my eyes and hoping the muffled snickers don’t incite a coworker to see what’s going on over here. Thank you, that entire post was the funniest thing I’ve read since Rez’s hair removal / waxing story. Thank you. -rainy ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/45 "2006-01-25T19:30:23Z")
Hmm, I just realized that they missed an opportunity. “While I was forced to replicate the ingredients, I used the ship’s kitchen facilities to prepare them rather than simply having the replicator produce a finished dish. I felt that the experience of cooking was necessary to fully understand how humans view food.” “Data! This is delicious! What is it?” “It is que d’Laforge in garlic lemon sauce” “Why is my name in there? I didn’t help you with this recipe.” “No, Geordi. But you provided the pattern for one of the ingredients.” “What?” “The meat you are all eating is the replicated buttocks of Geordi.” “What?” “Why?” “When?” “I have often heard members of the engineering crew say that your buttocks were ‘yummy’ or ‘tasty’ and that they would ‘love to sink my teeth into that’ or that they ‘want a piece of that’.” “Data, why didn’t you ask me before you served us all human flesh?” “I wanted it to be a surprise.” ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/46 "2006-01-25T20:22:34Z")
And in one of the books (no, I can’t remember which one) they are loading a few tons of coffee onboard in the in-between-state you’re in when transporting, because the replicator can’t make good coffee. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/47 "2006-01-25T21:35:53Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > in the in-between-state you’re in when transporting, Can I still use the car pool lane? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/48 "2006-01-25T22:07:26Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > And in one of the books (no, I can’t remember which one) they are loading a few tons of coffee onboard in the in-between-state you’re in when transporting, because the replicator can’t make good coffee. This would be the same technology that can duplicate a HUMAN BEING, right? Note to writers: This is why you shouldn’t make your technology so absurdly super-duper. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/49 "2006-01-25T22:13:34Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > This would be the same technology that can duplicate a HUMAN BEING, right? I dunno. My parents made me, but have you ever tasted my mom’s coffee? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/50 "2006-01-25T22:19:16Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > I dunno. My parents made me, but have you ever tasted my mom’s coffee? Who says your any good? 😉 But my point stands! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/51 "2006-01-25T22:20:21Z")
YOU’RE, god dammit! My point stands. My grammar, apparently, doesn’t. -Joe, hates that ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/52 "2006-01-25T22:21:45Z")
I was kinda amused by the fact that every time Picard said “tea, Earl Gray, hot”, he got a new cup and saucer with it, yet there was no indication (until an episode of DS9, I think) of what happened to the china after the tea was consumed. I figured that was the impetus to build new starships; you abandoned the old ones as soon as all available space was filled with dirty dishes. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/53 "2006-01-25T22:23:00Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > I dunno. My parents made me, but have you ever tasted my mom’s coffee? Ew. Where does she put the spigot? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/54 "2006-01-25T22:24:57Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > I dunno. My parents made me, but have you ever tasted my mom’s coffee? There’s a really funny answer there, but you can probably beat me up, so I’ll keep quiet. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/55 "2006-01-25T22:28:12Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > There’s a really funny answer there, but you can probably beat me up, so I’ll keep quiet. 🙂 Something about non dairy creamer? ---
**Author:** ![Citizen\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Citizen\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Citizen_Bob)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/56 "2006-01-25T22:52:45Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > So, what happens if you reach for the chocolate mousse or “Scotch, Chevas Regal and water, no ice” too fast and it materializes around your hand? I’m sure they have safety precautions in-place, of course. However, what I DO believe is missing, is that everybody would have the computer talk to them specifically with some voice template of their choosing – of someone that they respect, favorite comedian, wife, etc. The upshot of which would be - when I stick my hand in a food replicator (eg), I get a slight shock and a “Get your stupid-ass hands AWAY from the high-voltage appliances, boy!”… and when my weather report for my vacation home (to Rigel 7) comes in, it sounds like a 1980’s weatherman. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/57 "2006-01-25T23:58:09Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Something about non dairy creamer? No, no, something more like this: > [@Captain Amazing](#): > > I dunno. My parents made me, but have you ever tasted my mom’s coffee? > [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Yes. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/58 "2006-01-26T00:08:09Z")
Ah… enuendo. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/59 "2006-01-26T00:13:29Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > And in one of the books (no, I can’t remember which one) they are loading a few tons of coffee onboard in the in-between-state you’re in when transporting, because the replicator can’t make good coffee. [/geek mode] It’s was _Spock’s World_, by Diane Duane, which (and whom) people generally either love or hate. It wasn’t a replicator, though, because the story was, obviously, set in the time of Classic Trek (sometime between the first & second movies). Spock is preparing the Enterprise for a mission and is musing on the items he and the quartermaster are competing to acquire first (he encourages the competition because it makes them both better at their jobs). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061/60 "2006-01-26T01:35:58Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Ah… enuendo. Enuendo and out the other. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trek-food-synthesizers/341061.md?page=4)