# Trekkies: What the Hell is wrong with the Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979 "2015-03-25T21:16:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/221 "2015-04-03T18:41:05Z")
Dang, I feel kind of sorry for Michael Dorn, now. That nonsense must get REALLY old. Very, very fast. My first thought was, if I was in the guy’s shoes, to demonstrate “Klingon Warrior Fury,” followed by “The Baptism Of A Warrior, A Great Honor To Bestow,” and send somebody home wearing his prune juice. Plainly, Dorn is a nicer guy than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/222 "2015-04-03T19:35:31Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > I hated that. It made Sisko look even stupider. > > We go from sensitive guy who lost his wife and freaked out (cool.) to loving father (excellent) to derp, let me help you move that debris major Kira to weird actor choices (WeeeeOOOOOO) to I wanna quit, by the way I WAS AT WOLF 359 (glare) > > Picard :“What the fuck is your problem?” > > edit: Besides, that cube would have breezed through (excepting the Enterprises neat deflector trick) the fleet anyway…they barely stopped the one in First Contact and that was with years of study. What I got was that all the Federation tactics failed because Picard warned the Borg of them, and the Enterprise succeeded in large part due to Riker and whats her name adopting a strategy that Picard would never have approved of. As for him wanting to quit, DS9 was clearly the place careers truly went to die - before the wormhole, that is. (They didn’t show us that the toilets were all backed up also.) ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/223 "2015-04-03T21:35:37Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I always thought “Ah! The drink of a _warrior_!” was the lamest of _ **TNG** _’s lame jokes. Makes me think of Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier, with “Groo the Wanderer.” Their first running joke was about cheese dip. And at every comic festival they went to, someone had cheese dip for them. They could have learned: their next running joke could have been about collectible art, or jewelry, or treasury bonds. Instead, their next running joke was about mulch. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/224 "2015-04-04T01:09:40Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Nichelle Nichols (Uhuru). Nitpick: Uhura. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/225 "2015-04-04T02:11:34Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > As for him wanting to quit, DS9 was clearly the place careers truly went to die - before the wormhole, that is. (They didn’t show us that the toilets were all backed up also.) DS9 didn’t exist before the wormhole. In the first episode, the Cardassians have just cleared out, and the first Federation personnel arrived literally two days earlier. The wormhole opens more-or-less permanently no more than a few days after the very first station commander arrives. The only notable Starfleet officer\* already present is Chief O’Brian. \*He claims not to be an officer, but Starfleet in the TNG era is all kinds of wonky about officership. The man leads the engineering team, directly reports to and advises Sisko, seems to have all the perks and authority which would be expected of an officer, and seems to have low-ranking officers reporting to him. Further, he actually had the rank of Lieutenant on TNG. _He apparently got promoted out of being an officer._ Further, they at one point put Data, who was an LTC, in charge of a ship over its ranking Commander. So yeah. Re: Riker and not being promoted. For whatever reason, actual promotions are super-rare in Star Trek, probably because there’s almost no actual rank grades. Everybody in the TNG era literally seem to go Ensign-\> LT-\> LTC-\> Commander -\> Captain -\> Admiral. That is an absurdly compressed level of organization even for a much smaller organization. One issue is that Patrick Stewart almost didn’t come back for the seas after Best of Both Worlds, so they considered promoting Riker. Which I think they still should have done, but kept Picard. That is, they should have promoted them both. Picard would become an Admiral and had a couple other ships added to his command. Riker would have become the new Captain of the Enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/226 "2015-04-04T03:05:29Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Further, he actually had the rank of Lieutenant on TNG. Sorry; at what point was O’Brien a Lieutenant? 😕 > [@](#): > > Everybody in the TNG era literally seem to go Ensign-\> LT-\> LTC-\> Commander -\> Captain -\> Admiral. As opposed to…? 😕 Data briefly talked about this in one episode: Three years as an Ensign, twelve years as a Lieutenant… An interesting detail in _ **TOS** _ was that Spock started out as a Lt Commander in the first season but became a Full Commander by its end (even though he always wore double braids on his sleeves). The logical assumption is that he had been promoted sometime prior to _ **The Corbomite Maneuver** _ and was entitled to wear the insignia, but it didn’t formally take effect until six months or so later. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/227 "2015-04-04T03:15:35Z")
If you want to nerd out about it, try this: [Miles O'Brien | Memory Alpha | Fandom](http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Miles_O'Brien) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/228 "2015-04-04T03:38:57Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > If you want to nerd out about it, try this: [Miles O'Brien | Memory Alpha | Fandom](http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Miles_O'Brien) Interesting. I never really paid attention to the discrepancies; I always thought he was either a CPO or (more likely, it seemed to me) a Warrant Officer. If I noticed the pips on his collar at all, I probably assumed that close-up they were different in color from those of commissioned officers. As MA notes, he was not originally intended to be an important character, so little thought was given to his background (or to continuity as to his rank). ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/229 "2015-04-04T11:37:42Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > No one seems to have been badly hurt by that except some fish. But he still has his job even after he wipes out most of the fleet in Best of Both Worlds. One thing I liked about the DS9 pilot was that it showed that not everyone was all that thrilled with Picard after that. > > As for seat belts - the Enterprise had them in ST-TMP, IIRC. Enough said. IIRC, they were more like thigh clamps, made Kirk look like an old woman. Besides, I think the point stands, if the inertial dampers fail at anything above 1/32 impulse, you need a spoonge more than seatbelts. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/230 "2015-04-04T13:13:29Z")
We like the Moon! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/231 "2015-04-04T18:45:44Z")
The one that looked just like Felicity Kendal’s bottom? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/232 "2015-04-04T20:15:11Z")
Yeah, we orbited around that a few times. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/233 "2015-04-04T20:34:13Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > DS9 didn’t exist before the wormhole. In the first episode, the Cardassians have just cleared out, and the first Federation personnel arrived literally two days earlier. The wormhole opens more-or-less permanently no more than a few days after the very first station commander arrives. IIRC, Federation Space Station Deep Space Nine was established to help the Bajorans recover from their awful war and occupation by the Cardassians, and kinda sorta to convince them to consider Federation membership, as they were on the edge of the Cardassian Empire. The Cardassians originally built the station, which they called Terok Nor, as a “mining station,” which I kind of assumed meant “orbital platform to mastermind the stripping of this planet of its valuable minerals, preparatory to shipping it all back to Cardassia.” It’s mentioned more than once that the station has been there a while. Admittedly, once the wormhole was discovered, Cardassia kind of wanted it back, but by then the Federation had established its claim, and short of being asked to leave by the Bajorans, weren’t inclined to hand it over. And the LAST thing the Bajorans wanted was a return of Cardassian forces… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/234 "2015-04-04T23:08:12Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > The one that looked just like Felicity Kendal’s bottom? That’s no moon! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/235 "2015-04-04T23:14:04Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > > [@eschereal](#): > > > > The one that looked just like Felicity Kendal’s bottom? > > That’s no moon! :eek: I have a bad feeling about this… ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/236 "2015-04-05T00:03:20Z")
Not me, Felicity Kendall gives me a good feeling, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/237 "2015-04-05T01:06:20Z")
Come for the Festival, ay-yuh? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/238 "2015-04-05T02:52:41Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > I have a bad feeling about this… Just turn off your emotion chip and that will go away. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/239 "2015-04-05T04:56:36Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > No, really. You should see this for yourself. I don’t even know how to describe it… OK, fine. Are you sitting down? > … > Well, get up. [You really need to come down here and see this for yourself.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeverGiveTheCaptainAStraightAnswer) For that matter, why couldn’t people just beam about the ship when they were needed in a hurry? Oh, sure there’d be a few awkward moments when they caught the captain mid-shower or worse but I’m sure they could set up some sort of fail-safe. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/240 "2015-04-05T06:08:47Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > For that matter, why couldn’t people just beam about the ship when they were needed in a hurry? . . . We’ve never been told exactly why, but apparently, you can’t do this with any assurance of accuracy. (“Day of the Dove.”) I’d say it’s pretty obviously a plot contrivance, to keep exactly that short-cut from happening all the time, but it’s a valuable one…for exactly that reason. The transporter would become even more dominant in episode after episode. (They’ve already screwed the pooch by making it an immortality device and a disease-curing device. Fortunately, later writers politely ignored those implications.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=13)