# Trekkies: What the Hell is wrong with the Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979 "2015-03-25T21:16:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/241 "2015-04-05T23:38:08Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > We’ve never been told exactly why, but apparently, you can’t do this with any assurance of accuracy. (“Day of the Dove.”) Closed-circuit beaming was always a possibility (Lurry’s office had a transceiver unit in “The Trouble with Tribbles”). Apparently Roddenberry et al. failed to consider this, or turbo-lift rides were just too good a device for delivering expository dialogue to abandon. By Picard’s time they were beaming people directly to one spot or another (usually Sick Bay) with perfect accuracy, even without a receiver on the other end. Technology had evidently taken a giant leap forward in the intervening, uhm, 78 years (but they still habitually used the turbo-lift). ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/242 "2015-04-05T23:50:43Z")
Well, you never know when there will be a tragic transporter error, citizen. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/243 "2015-04-06T00:41:36Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Closed-circuit beaming was always a possibility (Lurry’s office had a transceiver unit in “The Trouble with Tribbles”). Apparently Roddenberry et al. failed to consider this, or turbo-lift rides were just too good a device for delivering expository dialogue to abandon. > > By Picard’s time they were beaming people directly to one spot or another (usually Sick Bay) with perfect accuracy, even without a receiver on the other end. Technology had evidently taken a giant leap forward in the intervening, uhm, 78 years (but they still habitually used the turbo-lift). Accurate as they may be, transporters still require a skilled operator to function safely. Whereas elvevators haven’t needed someone to operate them since the 20th century. And H&S aside, transporters doubtless take up a buttload of power and at least 2 buttloads of cpu cycles. That seems like a lot of computer, engine, and man power just to travel to the next floor up. And there’s the whole thing about how the elevator is less likely to catastrophically malfunction when the not-a-military-vessel Enterpise gets into yet another fight with the Klingons/Romulans/All-powerful-Space-Wizard this week. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/244 "2015-04-06T00:47:52Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > And there’s the whole thing about how the elevator is less likely to catastrophically malfunction when the not-a-military-vessel Enterpise gets into yet another fight with the Klingons/Romulans/All-powerful-Space-Wizard this week. You mean, like in “Wolf in the Fold”? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/245 "2015-04-06T00:53:13Z")
People need to use their muscles or they atrophy, I’d hate to see the shape of crew that beam everywhere. I mean hell why have a toilet? Just beam the pee and poo out of people. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/246 "2015-04-06T00:55:39Z")
> [@grude](#): > > People need to use their muscles or they atrophy, I’d hate to see the shape of crew that beam everywhere. They have a gym, a swimming pool, and a bowling alley. Why do they need to walk everywhere to stay in shape? > [@](#): > > I mean hell why have a toilet? Just beam the pee and poo out of people That would be logical. ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/247 "2015-04-06T01:06:03Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > For that matter, why couldn’t people just beam about the ship when they were needed in a hurry? Oh, sure there’d be a few awkward moments when they caught the captain mid-shower or worse but I’m sure they could set up some sort of fail-safe. In the TOS book “My Enemy, My Ally,” they played a chess variant early on that used a small transporter to move the pieces around. Later, Romulans had boarded the Enterprise, and some of the crew were trapped in the Rec room, but had managed to raid an armory first. They rigged the game machine and used it to transport grenades into the middle of enemy boarding groups. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/248 "2015-04-06T01:20:25Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > You mean, like in “Wolf in the Fold”? :dubious: I don’t know. Do I? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/249 "2015-04-06T01:31:22Z")
_Wolf in the Fold_ was that Jack-the-Ripper episode, with the immortal psychopath energy being that possessed humans and made them do bad things. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/250 "2015-04-06T01:33:10Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/251 "2015-04-06T01:34:13Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > _Wolf in the Fold_ was that Jack-the-Ripper episode, with the immortal psychopath energy being that possessed humans and made them do bad things. … And infected the computer and put the turbo-lift into free-fall. https://www.youtube.com/embed/6d6lGetr_1s?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&start=2217 ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/252 "2015-04-06T01:36:26Z")
Was that a TOS episode? Because I haven’t seen any of them since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I was more of a TNG kid. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/253 "2015-04-06T02:30:54Z")
He sounds gloomy. With a shot of this stuff in my arm, I wouldn’t be afraid of a supernova. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/254 "2015-04-06T02:46:37Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Was that a TOS episode? Because I haven’t seen any of them since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I was more of a TNG kid. Yes, it was TOS. The one where Scotty was suspected of being a murderer. You can see all the TOS episodes on youtube, though, for me, they look weird: we always saw them in B&W, in colour, the sets look a bit garish. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/255 "2015-04-06T04:13:11Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Yes, it was TOS. The one where Scotty was suspected of being a murderer. You can see all the TOS episodes on youtube, though, for me, they look weird: we always saw them in B&W, in colour, the sets look a bit garish. Blame RCA, NBC’s parent company. It was supposedly part of the big drive to sell more color TV sets. Very often, _ **TOS** _’s sets were painted in neutral colors and then lit up with colored gels and/or filmed through colored filters. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/256 "2015-04-06T04:27:44Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Blame RCA, NBC’s parent company. It was supposedly part of the big drive to sell more color TV sets. > > Very often, _ **TOS** _’s sets were painted in neutral colors and then lit up with colored gels and/or filmed through colored filters. I like that look! It gives the sets a stylized, comic book, timeless look. Like Forbidden Planet. TNG looks laughably 80s dated in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/257 "2015-04-06T04:43:44Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I like that look! It gives the sets a stylized, comic book, timeless look. Like Forbidden Planet. > > TNG looks laughably 80s dated in comparison. I never cared much for the sets in _ **TNG** _ either. I read somewhere that Matt Jefferies visited the main set around the time they started production and complained to Roddenberry “I gave you a bridge, and you’ve turned it into the lobby of the Hilton.” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/258 "2015-04-06T05:17:18Z")
Would they even need a fixed bridge on a well-designed starship? They could control the ship and keep tabs on everything using iPads from any random conference room. I expect a proper starship would have most of the important action taking place around a table in Ten-Forward. Or around the pool. Or, _Dude_, in the bowling alley (“_shut the fuck up, Wesley_”). ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/259 "2015-04-06T08:30:56Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > IIRC, they were more like thigh clamps, made Kirk look like an old woman. > Besides, I think the point stands, if the inertial dampers fail at anything above 1/32 impulse, you need a spoonge more than seatbelts. Sure, but you constantly see people getting injured from getting hurled across the bridge or into the panel at what seem to be 60 kph. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/260 "2015-04-06T13:13:22Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Would they even need a fixed bridge on a well-designed starship? They could control the ship and keep tabs on everything using iPads from any random conference room. I expect a proper starship would have most of the important action taking place around a table in Ten-Forward. Or around the pool. Or, _Dude_, in the bowling alley (“_shut the fuck up, Wesley_”). Because all that was in the timeline before someone went back in time and let all the computer pioneers have access to 29th century tech, creating the computer revolution. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=14)