# Trekkies: What the Hell is wrong with the Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979 "2015-03-25T21:16:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/121 "2015-03-28T02:21:54Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > What went unexplained was: Why was Scotty so calm and unconcerned when he’d just uncovered clear evidence of sabotage? :dubious: I took it as the equivalent of Dad at the breakfast table, saying, “Car has a dent that wasn’t there yesterday,” without looking up from his newspaper or making eye contact with the teenage son. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/122 "2015-03-28T02:27:58Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > There’s one exception to that, which is also one of my favorite Trek moments. In “The Enemy Within” (TOS), the duplicate Kirk shoots a hole into something in the engine room when Spock neck-pinches him. Kirk and Spock apparently don’t bother to tell anyone about this grievous damage. > > In the next scene, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy and in sickbay having a lively debate about the nature of personality, when Engineer Scott calls on the intercom to say, _hey, I found a big fucking hole in the engine_, which he calmly describes in detail. Kirk silently absorbs this news with an _oh shit_ expression. Needless to say, he doesn’t go to the engine room to look at it. :smack: The phaser blast didn’t cause the transporter damage. The transporter was damaged when the first crewman beamed aboard and when the aggressive Kirk blew a hole in the conduit it gave Scotty a good look at what the problem was. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/123 "2015-03-28T03:07:56Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > The phaser blast didn’t cause the transporter damage. > The transporter was damaged when the first crewman beamed aboard and when the aggressive Kirk blew a hole in the conduit it gave Scotty a good look at what the problem was. This is getting out of hand! :eek: Yes, the yellow powder clinging to the first crewman caused the initial malfunction, making the transporter produce “opposites.” The blasted transporter circuits was a far more serious problem; IIRC, Scotty said at that point they “couldn’t beam up a fly.” It required some ingenious jury-rigging to restore the transporter before they could experiment on reintegrating the dog-creature (and ultimately the two Kirks). ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/124 "2015-03-28T03:12:35Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > And since selfies were the proximate cause of almost every war or atrocity in the terrestrial Solar System after World War II, forward-facing cameras were banned on communication or computing devices. This ban is enforced with the only OTHER death penalty in the Federation (after the [Talosian interdict](http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/General_Order_7)). Are you suggesting those little butterfly displays on each communicator were actually video screens, and we just never got to see K&S sexting each other? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/125 "2015-03-28T03:15:55Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Is it just me or does this “replicator” coffee cream taste a bit like asparagus? Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!! I just got this joke! :eek: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/126 "2015-03-28T03:21:35Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Yeah, that book link is about why photon torpedoes can travel at warp speed without ANY APPARENT ENGINE… so it’s not much of a fanwank. :rolleyes: Next question: Why did it take NOMAD’s energy bolts (traveling at approximately warp 15) so long to hit the _Enterprise_, while the ship’s torpedoes got to NOMAD in just under three seconds? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/127 "2015-03-28T04:22:27Z")
Relativistic time dilation. And multiple phase-shift inversions. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/128 "2015-03-28T04:28:54Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Relativistic time dilation. > > And multiple phase-shift inversions. Are you suggesting they shunted all auxiliary power to the deflector array? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/129 "2015-03-28T04:45:22Z")
It appears [the Enterprise may not be done](http://nerdist.com/rumor-cbs-developing-new-star-trek-tv-series/) having regular weekly breakdowns as it tries to navigate its way through plot holes bigger than the Horsehead Nebula. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/130 "2015-03-28T05:39:55Z")
A Federation where everyone is unbearably smug and complacent gets its ass kicked by some hitherto obscure minor power on the fringes of the known Galaxy, like from a sector of space the average Joe (excuse me, _person_) has never even _heard_ of before and can’t find on a _map_? It would be interesting to see how _that_ played out! I personally would like to see a prequel set in the Captain April and Pike days, as per the original series outline. And this time, _make it look_ like the successor to _ **Forbidden Planet** _, fer chrissakes! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/131 "2015-03-28T05:49:42Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > It appears [the Enterprise may not be done](http://nerdist.com/rumor-cbs-developing-new-star-trek-tv-series/) having regular weekly breakdowns as it tries to navigate its way through plot holes bigger than the Horsehead Nebula. From the link: > [@](#): > > An attack from a new enemy shocks the Federation out of their complacency, and an all new, very advanced Enterprise is built. What? Admit to the world, the Federation and to infinity and beyond that Starfleet is _gasp_ a creature of the military, not of peaceful, scientific explorers? Well, I for one am shocked and appalled. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/132 "2015-03-28T06:05:20Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > No toilets. Fecal teleporters. You don’t even have to leave the bridge! ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/133 "2015-03-28T07:44:58Z")
The Enterprise’s biggest problem was management. The ship’s physician, the only one, spent all of his time on the bridge instead of in sick bay treating patients, prescribing meds, and reviewing patient’s charts. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/134 "2015-03-28T10:00:24Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > The Enterprise’s biggest problem was management. The ship’s physician, the only one, spent all of his time on the bridge instead of in sick bay treating patients, prescribing meds, and reviewing patient’s charts. Except that’s not true. McCoy had at least one assistant surgeon, Dr. M’Benga; Crusher also had another physician in staff, Dr. Selar, and there were always sickbay staff in the background in her day. It’s just that the chief medical officer bogards all the away missions. I doubt a ship’s complement of 400 or so needs more than two full- time doctors anyway. But during crisis situations, there’s probably members of the Science staff who are cross-trained to work as paramedics. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/135 "2015-03-28T12:53:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > But during crisis situations, there’s probably members of the Science staff who are cross-trained to work as paramedics. If not actors. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/136 "2015-03-28T15:07:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Except that’s not true. McCoy had at least one assistant surgeon, Dr. M’Benga; Crusher also had another physician in staff, Dr. Selar, and there were always sickbay staff in the background in her day. It’s just that the chief medical officer bogards all the away missions. > > I doubt a ship’s complement of 400 or so needs more than two full- time doctors anyway. But during crisis situations, there’s probably members of the Science staff who are cross-trained to work as paramedics. Tom Paris got cross training as a medic on Voyager. Most Starship malfunctions were the result of battle. Which mirrors the real world. Two battleships firing at each other results in a lot of damage. Starships have shields but they aren’t 100% effective. Voyager had new technology. The [Bio-neural gel packs](http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Bio-neural_gel_pack) were susceptible to bacteria and viruses. They also had a lot of holodeck failures. Blame B’Elanna Torres the rookie engineer. . She was a Starfleet academy drop out. Never worked on a ship as complex as Voyager. TNG took a helmsman, Geordi and presto! Made him chief engineer. Good luck with that in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/137 "2015-03-28T15:20:53Z")
btw, why didn’t TNG have a Chief Engineer season 1? There was this one guy that only had a few scenes the entire season. Can’t even remember his name. Quite surprising since Scotty was such a popular TOS character. You’d expect casting a chief engineer for TNG would be a priority. Levar Burton was a well known actor from Roots and other work. But he was cast in a tiny role season one. He got much less attention than any of the cast as helmsman. Then its like they realized they were wasting a very good actor and bumped him up to chief engineer. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/138 "2015-03-28T15:36:13Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > Fecal teleporters. You don’t even have to leave the bridge! You REALLY don’t want to know what happens when the “fiber compensators” aren’t perfectly aligned. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/139 "2015-03-28T15:37:08Z")
> [@Valteron](#): > > Every other week, some “entity” or “energy form” gets into the ship’s computers or engines or who knows what (their toilets?) and starts taking the ship apart. it happened to the Seaview too. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/140 "2015-03-28T15:39:31Z")
those Jefferies tubes are a problem right from the start. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=8)